Hello!

[ex_clinton_sinner]

I used to be a democrat. But I've abandoned those practices after feeling the evil inside me. Also, I used to like learning different languages, but am now trying to forget all those devilish codes. English is the only language I should know.

But I don't feel quite right, knowing that un-English words are still lingering somewhere in my brain. And knowing that I once voted for Clinton.

What should I do?

Thanks.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Hello!

The answer to your question is easy, so easy that you may well be shocked that it didn't jump right out at you! Are you ready? Here it is...

Repent, pray, tithe, vote Republican.

Now that's a good start, but there are of course a few details you should be careful of.

Repent - Your sins, and repent them fully. Don't try to give excuses to God.
Pray - To Jesus. Not to Mary, Allah, Raven Silverfish, Buddha, or Tom Cruise. Just to Jesus.
Tithe - To Landover. We are the ONLY church that is 100% right with God, so you can be 100% sure that your 10% will do God's work.
Vote Republican - Unless they are "Log Cabin" Republicans. Those sodomites are merely demoncrat moles trying to destroy God's Only Party from the inside.

There you are, you're now ready to start your journey to Salvation.

You're welcome.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello!

I used to be a democrat. But I've abandoned those practices after feeling the evil inside me. Also, I used to like learning different languages, but am now trying to forget all those devilish codes. English is the only language I should know.

But I don't feel quite right, knowing that un-English words are still lingering somewhere in my brain. And knowing that I once voted for Clinton.

What should I do?

Thanks.

Praise Jesus! Another wad of unsaved scum making the heroic attempt to shed the perverted chains of Clitonism and eurotrash degeneracy. Jesus has called you to the only place on the internets that offers Guaranteed Salvation©*.

Please tell us more about yourself. What cesspool of Godlessness were you raised in? Share the details of your former life of degeneracy. Your story of how much degradation you inflicted on yourself might serve as a good example to other sinners seeking to denounce satan.

Have you read the Holy Bible yet? Please share your favorite verses.


*Certain conditions apply. Free Playstation 3 may be limited.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Hello!

I fear Satan tightened his grip on this one and we have lost him. The one that got away.
I almost had this commie that weighed 100 kilos of dumpling and beer fat converted the other day. Just as I got him on the boat to Jesus, he jumped the hook and went back to Satan.