[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Hello!

Wow. Chill out.

1. I think I've made it clear that I'm not Asian.
2. I am a girl.
3. I have no clue as to what you're freaking out about.

So now you're a bulldyke? It doesn't matter what slander you try to spread, the people that matter (True Christians) know that I am a Godly woman and devoted to my husband, so if you did eat anyone, it certainly wasn't me.
And speaking of lies you're trying to spread, I'd like you to meet my cousin Seamus O'Toole. He's not Irish. Then there's my launderer, Ching Chong Pow. He's not Chinese.
You have an orimental name, but you're not orimental. Right. The only way that makes sense is if you've got the slanted eyes of a mongoloid, thus confusing your parents when you were born.

[Bernal]

Re: Hello!

LIES! Filthy, filthy gooky LIES! I don't know what this inscrutable orimental is trying to accomplish, but he never came anywhere near me! I have no idea who he is, and I'd never allow anyone except my husband to... and my husband would NEVER want to do anything like that!
EWWWWW!

Wow. Chill out.

1. I think I've made it clear that I'm not Asian.
2. I am a girl.
3. I have no clue as to what you're freaking out about.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Hello!

LIES! Filthy, filthy gooky LIES! I don't know what this inscrutable orimental is trying to accomplish, but he never came anywhere near me! I have no idea who he is, and I'd never allow anyone except my husband to... and my husband would NEVER want to do anything like that!
EWWWWW!

[Bernal]

Re: Hello!

There is but one True Bible, the Holy KJV1611 Authorized Version. Obviously.

And please do not use this Godly forum for conducting your whoredoms.

That was pretty obvious.

And what do you define as "my whoredoms"?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello!

What version of the Bible do you all follow?

There is but one True Bible, the Holy KJV1611 Authorized Version. Obviously.

And please do not use this Godly forum for conducting your whoredoms.

[Bernal]

Re: Hello!

Another newbie with insides that aren't candied. This just isn't my week.

Just wait, it hasn't even started yet!

Do I at least get points for the M&Ms?

I can't wait to get started...

[Bernal]

Re: Hello!

You're a chink? You speak American pretty well for a slant....

God tells us in the Bible that He will reward and protect those who worship Him properly. That would be us. Take a look at our beliefs HERE.

Is Jesus a fan of racial slurs? I hardly think so.

I am of no Asian descent. My parents named me Kyung because my mother went through an Asian sort-of obsession when she was pregnant with me and decided to name me a popular Korean name. I think it's pretty.

What version of the Bible do you all follow?

[WickedWitch]

Re: Hello!

Thank you!
Sorry, no candy. Unless you count the M&Ms I just ate!

Another newbie with insides that aren't candied. This just isn't my week.

*sigh*

Just wait, it hasn't even started yet!

[Bernal]

Re: Hello!

Hellfire and brimstone.

*sigh*

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello!

Thank you for the welcome!

May I ask how you know that Landover Baptist Church is God's favorite?

My name is Kyung and I live in Illinois. I consider myself Agnostic, bordering Atheist, although I was raised as a United Methodist. I didn't follow through with Confirmation because I wasn't convinced of the actual existence of a god. Besides, there were way too many contradictions in the Holy Book for me to entertain.

So no, I'm not Jewish.

You're a chink? You speak American pretty well for a slant....

God tells us in the Bible that He will reward and protect those who worship Him properly. That would be us. Take a look at our beliefs HERE.

[Bernal]

Re: Hello!

Hello and welcome, Bernal. *Pokes you with a stick and then watches to see if candy will fall out*

Thank you!
Sorry, no candy. Unless you count the M&Ms I just ate!

[WickedWitch]

Re: Hello!

I unfortunately found that out [about the Bible] while undergoing Confirmation. What a waste of time.
Any chance Landover Christians will answer my questions? Or will they just beat me down with hellfire and brimstone?

Hellfire and brimstone.

[Bernal]

Re: Hello!

Welcome Bernie. Please take a look around and get to know Landover Baptist Church. We are God's favorite, and we follow His Word literally.

Please tell us a little about yourself. You aren't a damned joo are you?

Thank you for the welcome!

May I ask how you know that Landover Baptist Church is God's favorite?

My name is Kyung and I live in Illinois. I consider myself Agnostic, bordering Atheist, although I was raised as a United Methodist. I didn't follow through with Confirmation because I wasn't convinced of the actual existence of a god. Besides, there were way too many contradictions in the Holy Book for me to entertain.

So no, I'm not Jewish.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello!

I unfortunately found that out [about the Bible] while undergoing Confirmation. What a waste of time.
Any chance Landover Christians will answer my questions? Or will they just beat me down with hellfire and brimstone?

So then you're a mary worshiper, Bernie? Too bad. They're all hellbound.

If you have any questions, the Bible will answer them all.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Hello!

Hello and welcome, Bernal. *Pokes you with a stick and then watches to see if candy will fall out*

They are 100% bible believing xtians, yes. And the whole bible is.....erm...not so friendly!

That's putting it lightly!