[Samuel Coleridge]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

My brother, although I am new here, and trust me, I agree with what you have said, however, was not Moses a jew? Even from the word of God He claims Moses was a jew?


"And the LORD said unto Moses, Gather unto me seventy men of
the elders of Israel, whom thou knowest to be the elders of
the people, and officers over them; and bring them unto the
tabernacle of the congregation, that they may stand there
with thee.." Numbers 11:16, 24-25, KJV

I'm not here to judge you or what you do, but if I were you, I would answer the questions in your introduction thread. You might not want to jump into such deep waters so quickly.

[grantedgrace]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

I see a lot of new souls have come to the Only Forum Approved By Jesus during the year I was away, so I will introduce myself in the proper gentlemanly fashion: by blessing you with my unbendable opinion on everything I can think of. Enjoy!

My opinion:

On most of the unsaved trash that come to our forum:

Oh look, some zit-lipped 13-year old hussy with puffy nipples has an opinion, now all our tens of thousands of members have to change our entire lives and way of life around, despite what the Bible says.

On My Lai:

The Bible is truely timeless, and every line of it is of use as literal guidance today. For example, remember Lieutenant Calley, who neutralized all of those Buddist heathens at My Lai? He may have gotten all the credit and glory, but it was the word of God that made him rise to the challenge. From his autobiography:

"Our mission in My Lai wasn't perverted, though. It was simply 'Go and destroy it;. Remember the Bible: the Amalekites? God said to Saul, 'Now go . . . and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. But the people took the spoil -' and God punished them. No difference now..." - Lieutenant Calley

On John 3:16 cafeteria-Christians:

What you believe in a composite character made of every drug-addicted hippie from the Beatles to ZZ top, not in the real-world Jesus. If I believe in a flatulent cockroach named "Jesus" and I repent in his name, I go to heaven? Of course not. Same thing if you make up a phoney Jesus in your own mind without reading and comprehending the Bible.

Sad to say, there are only 144,000 people in the world who truely understand Jesus and who truely follow every one of his commandments. Some in Freehold, some in our missions around the world, a few in Washington DC, more scattered around corporate headquarters here and there - some fighting in the jungles with the Lord's Resistance Army, and a few people from history, like whoever burned that feminazi Joan of Arc.

Malachi 2:3

Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces

On questioning Dick and Bush's daughters:

One of them has twin daughters who committed a few youthful indescretions, for which Jesus has forgiven them, and Dick Cheney has one daughter who who has chosen the lifestyle choice of Satan, for which Jesus will not forgive her. My theory is that whenever a boy says "dick" she got confused and thought they where talking about her father. That and it's Clinton's fault. Either that or the whole thing is just more liberalmedia lies.

Now leave us alone you immoral drug-dealing hippie pervert.

On Trial By Combat:

“...most historians date the origins of the duel to AD 501. That was when Gundebald, King of Burgundy, under pressure from a relentless bishop, [decided] to declare the wager of battle a recognized legal proceeding. He argued that since God directed the outcome of wars, it was only right to trust in His providence to favor the just cause of private quarrels as well.

(Gundebald must also have been aware that perjury was regularily being committed under the existing system of trial by oath. The clergy encouraged the belief that God, when called upon, would work a miracle in favor of anyone unjustly accused. The power of deciding a persons guilt or innocence was then placed entirely in its hands. Thus, when red-hot plowshares were placed on the ground and an accused person, blindfolded, had to avoid them to be judged innocent, a cleric had only to place the plowshares at irregular intervals to encourage a conviction; when the accused had to handle, unhurt, a piece of red-hot iron, a presiding sympathetic priest would substitute cold iron painted red - and so on.)

...Victory in combat would be proof of integrity in all legal proceeding in lieu of swearing..."trial by battle" soon became the norm throughout Europe. Duels were used to decide even the most arcane and acedemic conflicts, so that in Toledo, in 1085, a duel determined whether Latin or Mozaribic rites should be used in the liturgy (the Mozarabic champion won).

A class of proxy fighters, known as "champions" emerged. It was a dangerous way to earn a living, as a losing duelist would have his right arm cut off. The accused was kept just out of sight, a noose around his neck, if his champion lost, he would immediately be hanged or burned to death...

[Pope] Nicholas I pronounced dueling "just and legitimate" and abbots and priors began taking their share of the confiscated goods of a defeated combatant, sometimes even fighting themselves. Their weapon of choise was the mace, on the false premise that it did not shed blood (it is difficult to crush an opponent's skull cleanly). In 967 the Council of Ravenna declared judicial combat acceptable, citing David's triumph over Goliath was evidence of divine sanction. A century and a half later, there were even formulas for Church blessings of duels....Certain monasteries, such as some around Paris in the 14th century, maintained special fields equiped with walls and viewing stalls expressly for staging judicial duels, with the monks renting out facilities as required.

…the law remained on the statue book until it was cynically employed one last time, in 1817, by a man accused of murdering a girl by her younger brother. The boy was to young to fight a duel, and as no one else could be found to take his place the charges were dropped. Finally on March 22, 1819, the judicial duel was abolished by Parliament.”

_By the Sword_, Richard Cohen, p40-45

It gives us a lot to think about, doesn’t it? God does decide who wins battles, there are many battles in the Bible and all are decided by the hand of God, and there is single combat there was well, see David and Goliath. God does indeed protect the unjustly accused, notice how nobody at Enron has been jailed, obviously God is protecting them from to false witness of their accusers.

Everybody knows the court system is too soft on crime, it employs lawyers, it wastes time, and it results in boring TV dramas about lawyers, while a TV show about trial by combat would be non-stop action! We could even watch the real thing, live, in our churches, just like those old monasteries did it.

So let’s stop all this nonsense about “you need a warrant” and “read the bill of rights” and all that lawyer garbage - just start swinging your sword, and God will choose the righteous as the winner. God always has.

On the Earth being flat:

Granted, God has since rolled the world up into a ball, but only because he didn't want Columbus and his god-fearing sailors to sail off the end of the earth. So, God made the world round for him, and as a bonus, gave God's Chosen People an entire continent.

I know the whole above paragraph might not actually be written in the Bible (at least without some interpretation) but there's nothing in the Bible that contradicts it, so you can't prove it's not true, can you?

On pre-KJV Christians:

Could Christians exist before the KVJ was written? But of course, after all, Moses and his priests were Christians, and that was even before Christ. The Crusaders were obviously Christians, the Inquisitioners (the ones who worked converting Jews and Mudslimes, that is) were Christians, Cortez and his Conquistadores were Christians, and so on.

Catholic propaganda claims these heros as mary-worshippers, but whoever heard of Charlemange or Vlad The Impaler stroking rosary beads or earing dresses? No, they were too busy Doing God's Work - smiting heathens - to engage in such sinful nonsense.

God must have spoken to these first-wave crusaders directly, just as He speaks to George Bush's administration of latter-day crusaders directly.

There were lots of alter-boy-buggering blood-drinkers around before the KJV, but there were also Christians, it's just that because they all went by the same name it's hard to tell which is which. Generally, if they're smiting unbelievers, (like Cortez) they're Christians, and if they're collecting jewlery and wearing dresses (like all of the popes) they're hellbound mary-worshippers, their bloody entrials being future lubricant for the rape-rooms of the eternal abyss.

On Monasteries:

The idea behind a monstery is to retreat away from the world. We want to advance and conquer for the Lord of Hosts, we want the entire WORLD to be our monastery.

But as for Medieval monasteries, often they were close by nunneries, and there are tales of heterosexual behavior. I think only when protestants left that the remaining homos took total control over the Catholic Church.

Think of it like after the Rapture: with republicans gone, the democrats will take over the country, resulting in gay orgies in every public park, and at least one gay couple rimjobbing on every street corner. In short, America will be a cesspool - but one cannot look at that and say America had always been a cesspool. Before the Rapture, it had been half-sane and half-cesspool. Well, that's what the Catholic world was like, and the reformation was like a rapture of sorts.

So, I'm sure those monasteries would have had a handful of True Christians™ who could smack the nancyness out of the others, but when they left to become protestants, all hell broke lose - literally.

Restaurant Review: The Chow Factory:

Hm, normally I don't like slumming, but it seemed like most of the middle-class people there had bathed and were mostly free from diseases, so I actually had a good time. The wine list was pathetic though - when nothing on the list is over 500$, why bother with a list at all?

I disaprove of tipping, such acts of so-called "charity" are the same as welfare, turning humble people who accept their lot into greedy, entitled-feeling whiners.

Overall, I think the Chow Factory is alright, the food is very fatty, and that's a good thing: I think there are too many skinny people in church, and that's making us look bad:

Proverbs 28:25: He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat.

Skinny people have not put their trust in the Lord. That's why Africans and Indians are so skinny, while God-fearing America has been made fat by the Lord. However, look around you and you'll notice that even here there are not enough GOD-trusters around. Landover Baptist Church must set an example for the nation: so chow down!

My brother, although I am new here, and trust me, I agree with what you have said, however, was not Moses a jew? Even from the word of God He claims Moses was a jew?


"And the LORD said unto Moses, Gather unto me seventy men of
the elders of Israel, whom thou knowest to be the elders of
the people, and officers over them; and bring them unto the
tabernacle of the congregation, that they may stand there
with thee.." Numbers 11:16, 24-25, KJV

[Malloch]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

Rest assured i will return my thoughts there shortly. And my question while yes involving a matter of personal life on jebs part, i wish only to further gain a proper understanding of Jebs faith.

[Talitha]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

Ah! Talitha i was wondering when i would have the pleasure of exchanging words with you .

I assure you i am in no way stalking jeb or anyone on this forum for that matter, if jeb decides to answer my question you will have yours answered.

Now being disrespectful? I have only stated an opinion and only seek to gain answers to truths i may not comprehend.

Your opinions are not wanted nor needed.
You will be Judged for your opinions just before God casts you into Eternal Hell.

We answer questions about Jesus and The Bible, but personal issues are none of your concern.

Now, go back to your Introduction and tell us about your beliefs and how you came to have Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

[Malloch]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

Ah! Talitha i was wondering when i would have the pleasure of exchanging words with you .

I assure you i am in no way stalking jeb or anyone on this forum for that matter, if jeb decides to answer my question you will have yours answered.

Now being disrespectful? I have only stated an opinion and only seek to gain answers to truths i may not comprehend.

[Talitha]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

Jeb, i found your thoughts to be some of the most intriguing rabble i have ever read. Your thoughts and views are both eye opening and educational to the life you must lead.

Where i am from, the way you talk, you would be sitting in a jail cell having your asshole reemed open by a homosexual.

I dont say this to be mean or disrespectful, it is just a fact where i am from.

I disagree with almost everything you said, you seem to have no knowledge of the world at all. And the support you recieve from some posters will only further serve to delude your grasp on reality. You are not looking at the world subjectively. You are thinking like a sheep.

Women are equal to men, whether you like it or not. I have one parting question for you Jeb and i do hope you answer it, Do you have daughters Jeb?

You are VERY disrespectful.
You come in here insulting one of our Godly True Christian(tm) Men.

Why do you want to know about Jeb's Daughters? What's it to do with you?
Are you Stalking Jeb and his family?

[Malloch]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

Jeb, i found your thoughts to be some of the most intriguing rabble i have ever read. Your thoughts and views are both eye opening and educational to the life you must lead.

Where i am from, the way you talk, you would be sitting in a jail cell having your asshole reemed open by a homosexual.

I dont say this to be mean or disrespectful, it is just a fact where i am from.

I disagree with almost everything you said, you seem to have no knowledge of the world at all. And the support you recieve from some posters will only further serve to delude your grasp on reality. You are not looking at the world subjectively. You are thinking like a sheep.

Women are equal to men, whether you like it or not. I have one parting question for you Jeb and i do hope you answer it, Do you have daughters Jeb?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

You are mistaken. The Holy Bible is the word of God and no one else but God. That a few humans have been blessed enough by the LORD to write the words on a piece of paper for Him does not change that.

Are you here to mock us?

[NewlySaved]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

To teach you guys that the Old Testament that you quote with all of the atrocities is the JEWISH TORAH which JESUS CHRIST died to change to this:


John 8:3-11 (King James Version)


3And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.


Galatians 5:14 (King James Version)


14For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

You guys sound more like True Jews™ than Christians!

Don't be an idiot, we are True Christians. And you prove your point by pointing to one of your own postings? To be honest I am still trying to figure out why you are really here.

[NewlySaved]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

You guys sound more like True Jews™ than Christians!

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=458820#post458820

[MikeforChrist]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything



You are an inspiration to us all.

[Wide-Open]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

The words dung and piss are in the Bible, so why should I edit them out?

[IJackOffToStan]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

And for some reason, you've starred out "hair" "face" "unused" and "head", yet failed to notice the word shit. Dude.

[IJackOffToStan]

Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything

No. Shut up.
And if you're the type of person who's "going to Heaven" maybe I'd be better off in hell