Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything
On The "Total Faith Society":
I have just gotten an email from something called the "Total Faith Society", they seem to believe in all sorts of things Jesus will burn them in hell for, however, it's hard to escape their logic, that since faith is good, more faith is better. What do you all think?
Imagine a world where 99.9 percent of the people are athiests. Imagine how horrible that would be: there would be immorality, wars and disasters everywhere. But wait - and watch the 6 o'clock news, because that's what we've got now. And guess why: because the world is 99.9 percent atheist.
Dear Friends,
Most people claim to have faith, yet when asked directly, it turns out that they are usually agnostic or athetist when it comes to the vast majority of the world's religions. A person might have faith in Jesus, yet not have faith in Zeus. They may have faith in reincarnation, yet no faith in Jesus. They might believe someone who talks about hearing the voice of God, yet not believe someone who talks about being abducted by aliens, or they might belive horoscopes and fortune cookies yet not trust specific omens. Or, they might belive in some omens yet not in others. They claim to believe, they they only believe 0.01 percent of religion. They are, in short, hypocrites.
Total Faith
Faith is good. Therefore, the more faith, the better. More faith, more goodness!
This is the motto of the Total Faith Society, the only religion that believes everything from every religion and belief.
Think about it. You are either pro-faith or anti-faith. If you disbelieve more than you believe, than you're more a less a secular scumbag. If you really had moral values you would believe in the following:
Acupuncture, Adam and Eve, Alchemy, Alien Abductions, Allah, Allopathy, Apollo, Ancient Astronauts, Angels, Apparitions, Area 51, Aromatherapy, Astrology, Astral Travel, Atlantis, Auras, Backward Masking, Bee Venom Therapy, Bermuda Triangle, Bible Numerics, Biblical Literalism, Bigfoot, Biorhythyms, Buddah, Cattle Mutilations, Chain Letters, Channeling, Christian Science, Clairvoyance, Conspiracies, Cosmobiology, Creationism, Crop Circles, Crystal Power, Curses....WE BELIEVE IT!
David Koresh, Demons, Dental Amalgam, Devils, Dianetics, Dihydrogen Monoxide, Divining, Dowsing, Dragon's Triangle, Dreams Of The Future, Drum Healing, Earth Rays, Ectoplasm, Electroencephaloneuromentimpography, Elvis Presley is alive, End-Of-The-World-Predictions, Energies Unknown To Science, Entities, Eugenics, Evangelists, Evil Eyes, Exorcism, Extra Sensory Perception, Face On Mars, Facilitated Communication, Fairies, Faith Healing, Fasting, Feng Shui, Firewalking, Flat Earth, Fortune Telling, Fundamentalism...WE HAVE FAITH!
Gaia, Gargoyles, Geocentricity, Ghosts, Ghouls, gods, Gurus, Hinduism, Heaven, Hell, Holistic Health, Hollow Earth, Holocaust Denial, Homeopathy, Horoscopes, Human Sacrifice, Icons (Weeping, Perspiring, Milk-Slurping etc), I Ching, Immortality, Incubusses, Jihads, Jehovah's Witnesses, Jesus, Jim Morrison is alive, Lake Monsters, Levitation, Life After Death, Loch Ness Monster, Lucifer, Lucky Charms, Lunar Effects, Magic, Martyrdom, Mars Landing genuined, Men In Black, Mermaids And Mermen, Mesmerism, Messiah, Miracles, Mohammed, Monuments On Mars, Moon Landing genuined, Moses, Mormonism...FAITH IS GOOD!
Natural Vision, Naturopathy, Near Death Experiences, Neurolinguistic Programming, Noah's Ark, Nostradamus, Numerology, Omens, Original Sin, Ouija Boards,Out Of Body, Palmistry, Parapsychology, Papal Infallability, Past Lives, People's Temple, Phantoms, Poltergeists, Prayer, Predictions, Prophecies, Psychic Archaeology, Psychic Dentistry, Purgatory, Pyramid Powers, Qi Gong, Racial Theories, Raindance, Reincarnation, Reiki, Remote Viewing, Resurrection of Christ, Reverse Speech, Runes, Sasquatch, Satanic Ritual Abuse, Scientology, Sihkism, Sea Monsters, Seances, Seers And Prophets, Shiatsu, Shrines, Shroud Of Turin, Snake Handling, Sorcery, Speaking In Tongues, Spontaneous Human Combustion, Spoon Bending, Star of Bethlehem, Stigmata, Succubusses...NO ATHEISTS HERE!
Tarot Cards, Tea-Leaf Readings, Telekinesis, Telepathy, Theosophy, Therapeutic Touch, Thought Field Therapy, Transcendental Meditation, Transubstantiation, Tutankhamen's Curse, UFO Cover Up Conspiricies, Unicorns, Unification Church, Wicca, Vampires, Virgin Births, Visions, Voodoo, Werewolves, Witchcraft, yin-yang ,Yetis, Zero Point Energy, Zeus, Zombies,...BECOME A BELIEVER!
FAQ:
What about contradicting religions?
People claim there are contradictions in the Bible too, but these people are only showing their own ignorance. The following are reasons ignorant people see "contradictions":
- That translation is incorrect - in the original texts a different word is used, so it is not a contradiction.
- He is taking the verses out of context, so there is no contradiction.
- Satan/Hades has blinded him to the truth. There is no contradiction, and he should pray/preform a sacrifice/cast a spell/donate money/chant a mantra/etc. to be shown the correct meaning.
- This is only an apparent contradiction. That is not the same as an actual contradiction.
-If the verses are interpreted correctly, it is obvious that there is no contradiction.
- There are no contradictions in the Bible/Quran/Talmud/Book of Mormon/etc., so this is not a contradiction.
- The contradiction is caused by his anachronistic thinking. The word had a different meaning back then.
But what about this quote that looks like a contradiction or something objectionable?
You are quoting out of contex. You have to read and properly interpret all of the world's religious texts to understand the true meaning. Have you read all of them? Including the Hindu ones that go on for thousands of volumes? In their origional languages, rather than flawed translations? No? Then you don't know what you're talking about.
It goes on for a lot longer, but I'm sure you've all gotten the gist of it by now.
On the Lord's Resistance Army
Wow, where do I start? It's been quite a month (has it been a month? It feels like a month. Well, really it feels like a lifetime. What an adventure!)
So anyway, I was checking up on my investments in Uganda (isn't it funny how anywhere Moslems are, there's oil? Someone should drill some holes in Michigan and see what comes up) and everything is running so smoothly, I figure I might look into the Lord's Resistance Army, a Christian charity dedicated to a government based on the 10-commandments.
Anyway, I found them, but so did the satanic government, who happened to be launching a major offensive, complete with a lot of bombing which I fear had permanently damaged my hearing. Joseph Kony's (he's the guy in charge, really decent, all-American kind of guy) he suggests that I pretend that I'm a hostage that escaped, but the government troops were really trigger-happy, and besides, Jesus is on my side and will keep me safe. And he did.
Not really any glorious scenes of heroism I can talk about, we just hid in the jungle while lots of explosions happened, and lots of bugs and leeches ate us alive. Did I mention that it's hot in Uganda? Really, really hot?
Anyway, eventually the satanists must have figured they'd killed us all or something, or maybe it was just a lull in the fighting, but I managed to get out of that stinking jungle, caught a plane that took me to Cairo, and then finally got on a plane that brought me back to civilization.
I'll give you more details later, but I suppose you'll all have questions. Thanks for praying for me.
(PS, whoever prayed that I would have a worm crawl up my eurethra - very funny, jerk. When I go away and ask people to pray for me, I mean pray for GOOD things to happen to me. Got it?)
On Women in Combat:
Insanity! Yet more proof that society is headed to hell in a handbasket! Bush and the Republican Congress want to get women out of combat, and those stupid jarheads in Iraq just use loopholes to put them back in! Come on now, who knows more about the proper way to run a war, Republican war heros like Bush, or some officer in Iraq whos probably "gone native"?
There's no excuse to have women in combat, maybe if there was a shortage of recruits or something, but we all know kids are lined up around the block to join the army because Bush's Crusade is so popular. Get those women back to the kitchen where they belong!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/conte...AR2005051202002
"Dozens of soldiers interviewed across Iraq -- male and female, from lower enlisted ranks to senior officers -- voiced frustration over restrictions on women mandated in Washington that they say make no sense in the war they are fighting. All said the policy should be changed to allow, at a minimum, mixed-sex support units to be assigned to combat battalions. Many favored a far more radical step: letting qualified women join the infantry.
But Congress is moving in the opposite direction. A House subcommittee, seeking to keep women out of combat, passed a measure this week that would bar women from thousands of Army positions now open to them...
For many inside Army camps, the disconnect between Washington officialdom and the reality that female troops confront in Iraq was epitomized by President Bush's Jan. 11 declaration of "No women in combat."
"That's an oxymormon!" said Sgt. Neva D. Trice, who leads a female Army search team that guards the gates of Baghdad's Green Zone, where many U.S. and Iraqi government facilities are located. "If he said no women in combat, then why are there women here in Iraq?"
Several male Army officers also dismissed Bush's statement as woefully uninformed. "The president got blindsided. The president didn't understand what the policy really was," said one officer, who requested anonymity because he was questioning the commander-in-chief....
Many commanders in Iraq say they see a widening gap between war-zone realities and policies designed to limit women's exposure to combat.
Although the Army is barred from assigning women to ground combat battalions, in Iraq it skirts the ban with a twist in terminology. Instead of being "assigned," women are "attached in direct support of" the battalions, according to Army officers familiar with the policy. As a result, the Army avoids having to seek Pentagon and congressional approval to change the policy, officers said...
Roney and other Army officers interviewed in Iraq agreed overwhelmingly that the Army's ban on locating female support soldiers with combat battalions was meaningless and should be lifted..."
ON EGYPT:
Egypt, where the men are hung like donkeys and spoodge like horses:
Ezekiel 23:19-20 “Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses”
I suppose yall is wondering why I chose that particular quote. It came up when I was checking on one of the abstinence-only sex education classes, which Landover Baptist Church is getting government funding for under the faith based social services thing. Anyway I was talking about how prostitution is acceptable if the girls are raising money for the church (Isaiah 23:17-18) when a boy mentioned (Ezekiel 23:19-20) and pointed out that he knows for a fact, being Egyptian himself. He even offered to demonstrate, but I was already short of time to teach about how in the future criminals will be punished by watching their wives get raped (2 Samuel 12:11).
Just think, before our church was in the schools, that kid probably would have waisted his time shooting spitballs and being taught evolution, but now he is learning more of Jesus every day. I marvel at the wonder working power of George W Bush and the Republican Party, who have brought so much goodness and morality into our schools.
ON LESBIANS:
You know what Jesus demands for body parts that cause one to sin. If an eye causes you to commit adultry in your heart, pluck the eye out. If your privates feel warm then do what so many people in Africa do, and cut those slimey tuna-stinking parts of you off! And throw them to the dogs!
You're not from Africa, are you?
"An estimated 135 million of the world's girls and women have undergone genital mutilation, and two million girls a year are at risk of mutilation - approximately 6,000 per day. It is practised extensively in Africa and is common in some countries in the Middle East. It also occurs, mainly among immigrant communities, in parts of Asia and the Pacific, North and Latin America and Europe.
FGM is reportedly practised in more than 28 African countries (see FGM in Africa: Information by Country (ACT 77/07/97)). There are no figures to indicate how common FGM is in Asia. It has been reported among Muslim populations in Indonesia, Sri Lanka and Malaysia, although very little is known about the practice in these countries. In India, a small Muslim sect, the Daudi Bohra, practise clitoridectomy.
In the Middle East, FGM is practised in Egypt, Oman, Yemen and the United Arab Emirates."
(And people say we're intolerant of other cultures. On the contrary!)
On electoral strategy:
For us republicans to win elections, we can't let people think about jobs and wages and the draft and Osama running free - that sort of thinking leads to bad voting. You have to get them thinking about gays. Ideally, every voter should walk into the booth with a brain filled with torrid, sweaty, man-on-man action. Groping, bulging, groaning, rythmic slapping: that's the real decisive issue of the day.
Whether invading Iraq has allowed Al Queda time to get nukes or bubonic plague makes for an interesting conversation over coffee, but history won't remember that. The 21st century will be remembered as the decisive battle between God and the rectum-rooting, tounge-wrestling, deep-shafting ogries of sweating man-flesh etc. etc. etc.
That's what Jesus wants us to think about.
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Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything
Preach it Brother, preach it!
Clearly the Lord has set your soul on fire with His Holy Flamming TRUTH!
Let the wicked read you Godly words and lament. It is time for them to REPENT!Leave a comment:
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Re: What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything
On Trial By Combat:
“...most historians date the origins of the duel to AD 501. That was when Gundebald, King of Burgundy, under pressure from a relentless bishop, [decided] to declare the wager of battle a recognized legal proceeding. He argued that since God directed the outcome of wars, it was only right to trust in His providence to favor the just cause of private quarrels as well.
(Gundebald must also have been aware that perjury was regularily being committed under the existing system of trial by oath. The clergy encouraged the belief that God, when called upon, would work a miracle in favor of anyone unjustly accused. The power of deciding a persons guilt or innocence was then placed entirely in its hands. Thus, when red-hot plowshares were placed on the ground and an accused person, blindfolded, had to avoid them to be judged innocent, a cleric had only to place the plowshares at irregular intervals to encourage a conviction; when the accused had to handle, unhurt, a piece of red-hot iron, a presiding sympathetic priest would substitute cold iron painted red - and so on.)
...Victory in combat would be proof of integrity in all legal proceeding in lieu of swearing..."trial by battle" soon became the norm throughout Europe. Duels were used to decide even the most arcane and acedemic conflicts, so that in Toledo, in 1085, a duel determined whether Latin or Mozaribic rites should be used in the liturgy (the Mozarabic champion won).
A class of proxy fighters, known as "champions" emerged. It was a dangerous way to earn a living, as a losing duelist would have his right arm cut off. The accused was kept just out of sight, a noose around his neck, if his champion lost, he would immediately be hanged or burned to death...
[Pope] Nicholas I pronounced dueling "just and legitimate" and abbots and priors began taking their share of the confiscated goods of a defeated combatant, sometimes even fighting themselves. Their weapon of choise was the mace, on the false premise that it did not shed blood (it is difficult to crush an opponent's skull cleanly). In 967 the Council of Ravenna declared judicial combat acceptable, citing David's triumph over Goliath was evidence of divine sanction. A century and a half later, there were even formulas for Church blessings of duels....Certain monasteries, such as some around Paris in the 14th century, maintained special fields equiped with walls and viewing stalls expressly for staging judicial duels, with the monks renting out facilities as required.
…the law remained on the statue book until it was cynically employed one last time, in 1817, by a man accused of murdering a girl by her younger brother. The boy was to young to fight a duel, and as no one else could be found to take his place the charges were dropped. Finally on March 22, 1819, the judicial duel was abolished by Parliament.”
_By the Sword_, Richard Cohen, p40-45
It gives us a lot to think about, doesn’t it? God does decide who wins battles, there are many battles in the Bible and all are decided by the hand of God, and there is single combat there was well, see David and Goliath. God does indeed protect the unjustly accused, notice how nobody at Enron has been jailed, obviously God is protecting them from to false witness of their accusers.
Everybody knows the court system is too soft on crime, it employs lawyers, it wastes time, and it results in boring TV dramas about lawyers, while a TV show about trial by combat would be non-stop action! We could even watch the real thing, live, in our churches, just like those old monasteries did it.
So let’s stop all this nonsense about “you need a warrant” and “read the bill of rights” and all that lawyer garbage - just start swinging your sword, and God will choose the righteous as the winner. God always has.
On George Lucas:
Right from the start Star Wars has been nothing but a marketing scheme for glow-in-the-dark dildoes and thinly-disguised buddism. And all those aliens with the funny foreheads, they're just trying to shove multiculturalism down our throats again.
I was actually pleasantly surprised by Revenge of the Sith - I really loved the hero, who looked a lot like Jesus, spoke like Jesus ("if you're not with me you're against me") even suffering a "passion" in the end - but then I heard other people talking as they left the theater, saying that they considered Darth to be "evil".
It's like they were brainwasheed or something. I thought the whole point of the thing was meant to be redemption, with the little mamma's boy (even has a girl's name: Annie) finally becoming a red blooded straight man, kicking those Buddist Jedis in their heathen rears. However, other viewers saw things the other way. I think there must have been subliminal messages in the music.
There's nothing new about subliminal messages in music, but have you noticed how downright brazen it's gotten lately? They even call their songs "protest songs", instead of songs of praise, which is what the Bible calls for.
Just to show how ignorant those hippies are - I just heard one of those protest songs by one of those drug-addict rock bands, and the lyrics go "I am Iraq, I am an island." Iraq isn't an island you idiots! Clearly homosexuals in that group, Simon and Garfunkstien or something. Hippies.
On the Heinz Lawsuit:
I'm going to get straight to the point here: we need donations. Heinz truely has the full power of Satan on their side, and this lawsuit just keeps going on in a battle of attrition. Right now only the lawyers are winning, but with enough funding we will be able to hire good enough lawyers to break the deadlock. The department of faith-based social services grant will literally be a Godsend, but it's tied up in beaureacracy right now - we need donations, and we need them now!
We presented some excellent evidence to the court, we showed photographic proof of how Hienz pasta is obsene and pornographic, from their alphabet pasta with its formation of obsene words and satanic messages (we had a witness give a moving first-hand account of her pasta repeatedly spelling "666") to their animal pasta and it's beatiality orgies. We showed shocking photographs of pasta elephants copulating with ostriges, giraffs performing oral sex on rhinos, ect. We urges the court to imagine their children being exposed to such smut.
Friends, our need for money is so urgent we have had to pospone two planned expeditions to find Noah's Ark as well as our much anticipated search for the Tower of Babel. As for the plan to find the flaming-sword wielding angel who guards the Gaden of Eden, at this rate it might never leave the drawing board.
I want to give a special thank you to our Gold and Platinum-Level Tithers, who have selflessly donated money, lawyers, use of their private jets, etc. I don't want to bother them for donations, they have already given all they can. It's the rest of you who need to shell out: I don't want to hear you whining about "tough times" and "down on my luck" and "already in debt" all the rest of it. You can't love both God and money, people. Your love of money is the root of all evil, so baby Jesus will smile if you borrow that extra bit, live on your credit cards for that extra month, so that we can tan Satan's Heinz.
Thank you and God Bless America.
On Obsene Music:
Here's a good list of immoral, obsene, and generally unAmerican songs worthy of being banned and burned.
I've noticed we've been running low on material during Sunday night book burnings, but I'm sure there's got to be some pornographic records buried in someone's basement somewhere. Those R&B ones from the 50's were especially nasty, and they'll burn better than those stupid fireproof CDs they've started making these days.
My crusade to find intolerable music has lead me to a certain satanic creature named Claudia Wheeler:
Note: the following link is not for children, women, and/or the weak-minded.
On Jerry Faldwell's Concubines:
Anyone high enough in Godly circles knows that Jerry Faldwell solved his concubine craving a long time ago, and with no resistance from his wife whatsoever.
Also, he got sick of blondes a long, long time ago and (if my gossip is up-to-date) has recently aquired a taste for dark meat.
On God's Beauty:
This is the only part of the Bible that I can complain about, that it isn't completely specific about type of beauty God has. I mean, an M-16 is beautiful, an AK-47 is equally beautiful, and an Uzi is also beautiful in its own way, but God can't look like all 3 at once, can He? Or perhaps He can, perhaps He looks like an assault weapon so pure and wonderous it can't be found at a gun show attended by mere mortals....Though I can't believe that without Biblical confirmation.
On Father's Day:
Every fathers day, what I think about is all of those fathers in prison or on parole, and of all the soft-on-crime sin-coddling bedwetters who put them there instead of punishing them in the way the Bible demands.
Levitcus 26:14 But if ye will not hearken unto me, and will not do all these commandments; 15 And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: ... 29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
# Deuteronomy 28:15 But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee: ... 53 And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters ... 57 And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them for want of all things secretly in the siege and straitness, wherewith thine enemy shall distress thee in thy gates. 58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD;
That's right: if you break any of the ten commandments, if you murder, steal, worship someone other than Jesus, or work on Sunday (and I don't care if you're a police officer or paramedic or soldier or what, the 10 commandments are clear, no exeptions) you must be punished as the Bible demands, because the Bible is the word of God. The Bible, the word of God, demands that people who break the 10 commandments be forced to eat their children. Raw or cooked, that is debatable, however the punishment itself is NOT.
This makes a lot of sense, after all, think of the reason we must get rid of the estate tax: if my children get rewarded with inheritence for my hard work, I'll work harder. And if my children are punished - for example, punished by being eaten by me, I'll have more incentive to obey the 10 commandments.
I say that it is vital for the survival of our free republic that the 10 commandments be posted in public schools, but also vitally important is that the punishment for breaking the commandments also be posted: "obey or we'll stew your children and pour them into a funnel nailed to your mouth" should cut down on sinfullness, or at least the kids will nag their parents not to be sinful.
What part of "break my covenant and ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat" don't you understand?
On Darfur:
According to the terrorist-supporting, Flag-burner Zogby, over 80 percent of respondents want the U.S. to impose a no-fly zone over Darfur to prevent further bombing of civilians. More than four out of five also want the U.S. to "use its military assets to bolster African Union troops on the ground in Darfur" and "impose tough sanctions" on the leaders responsible for the atrocities. 38 percent of respondents even supported deployment of U.S. troops in Darfur.
The biggest piece of Al Queda propaganda disseminated by ZOGby is that ninety-one percent (91%) of people polled disagreed with the Bush administration's policy of non-cooperation with the International Criminal Court.
Looks like 91% of Americans will be in trouble when the court is in session in the Universal Sin Court presided over by Judge Jesus, and where there is only one sentence: eternal torture in HELL!
Friends, I have just been to Uganda, and I have seen that there is only one way to deal with the situation there: first and foremost, remember not to do anything that might endanger American investments. That oil doesn't pump itself, people. Secondly, oppose the International Criminal Court, because it refuses to understand that True Christians have already had all their sins washed away by the blood of Christ, and therefore cannot be guilty of anything. Finally, give all support to the Lord's Resistance Army, the only force in the region that truly supports the Ten Commandments.
Sanctions? No-fly zone? International Criminal Court? These things are not mentioned in the Bible, and the Bible is the Perfect Book, the only book any world leader needs to read.
I support Bush and the Republican Party's strong, bold stand against doing anything about these darfuriners. I mean, I'm sure no dumbocrat can even find darfuristan or whatever it's called on a map anyway. The last thing we need is a bunch of do-gooders worrying about what's going on the the world and wanting to go and do good and so on. I mean, how am I supposed to check on my oil investments if there's a no-fly zone? By walking there?
On Democrats:
Soon your fat will be bubbling off your body as flaming brimstone devours you and homosexual demons with porcupine quills for pubic hair leer lustfully at your charred and sizzling backside.
REPENT!Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 10-25-2024, 12:41 PM.Leave a comment:
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What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything
I see a lot of new souls have come to the Only Forum Approved By Jesus during the year I was away, so I will introduce myself in the proper gentlemanly fashion: by blessing you with my unbendable opinion on everything I can think of. Enjoy!
My opinion:
On most of the unsaved trash that come to our forum:
Oh look, some hussy with pierced nipples has an opinion, now all our tens of thousands of members have to change our entire lives and way of life around, despite what the Bible says.
On My Lai:
The Bible is truely timeless, and every line of it is of use as literal guidance today. For example, remember Lieutenant Calley, who neutralized all of those Buddist heathens at My Lai? He may have gotten all the credit and glory, but it was the word of God that made him rise to the challenge. From his autobiography:
"Our mission in My Lai wasn't perverted, though. It was simply 'Go and destroy it;. Remember the Bible: the Amalekites? God said to Saul, 'Now go . . . and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. But the people took the spoil -' and God punished them. No difference now..." - Lieutenant Calley
On John 3:16 cafeteria-Christians:
What you believe in a composite character made of every drug-addicted hippie from the Beatles to ZZ top, not in the real-world Jesus. If I believe in a flatulent cockroach named "Jesus" and I repent in his name, I go to heaven? Of course not. Same thing if you make up a phoney Jesus in your own mind without reading and comprehending the Bible.
Sad to say, there are only 144,000 people in the world who truely understand Jesus and who truely follow every one of his commandments. Some in Freehold, some in our missions around the world, a few in Washington DC, more scattered around corporate headquarters here and there - some fighting in the jungles with the Lord's Resistance Army, and a few people from history, like whoever burned that feminazi Joan of Arc.
Malachi 2:3
Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces
On questioning Dick and Bush's daughters:
One of them has twin daughters who committed a few youthful indescretions, for which Jesus has forgiven them, and Dick Cheney has one daughter who who has chosen the lifestyle choice of Satan, for which Jesus will not forgive her. My theory is that whenever a boy says "dick" she got confused and thought they where talking about her father. That and it's Clinton's fault. Either that or the whole thing is just more liberalmedia lies.
Now leave us alone you immoral drug-dealing hippie pervert.
On the Earth being flat:
Granted, God has since rolled the world up into a ball, but only because he didn't want Columbus and his god-fearing sailors to sail off the end of the earth. So, God made the world round for him, and as a bonus, gave God's Chosen People an entire continent.
I know the whole above paragraph might not actually be written in the Bible (at least without some interpretation) but there's nothing in the Bible that contradicts it, so you can't prove it's not true, can you?
On pre-KJV Christians:
Could Christians exist before the KVJ was written? But of course, after all, Moses and his priests were Christians, and that was even before Christ. The Crusaders were obviously Christians, the Inquisitioners were Christians, Cortez and his Conquistadores were Christians, and so on.
Catholic propaganda claims these heros as mary-worshippers, but whoever heard of Charlemange or Vlad The Impaler stroking rosary beads or wearing dresses? No, they were too busy Doing God's Work - smiting heathens - to engage in such sinful nonsense.
God must have spoken to these first-wave crusaders directly, just as He speaks to George Bush's administration of latter-day crusaders directly.
There were lots of alter-boy-buggering blood-drinkers around before the KJV, but there were also Christians, it's just that because they all went by the same name it's hard to tell which is which. Generally, if they're smiting unbelievers, (like Cortez) they're Christians, and if they're collecting jewlery and wearing dresses (like all of the popes) they're hellbound mary-worshippers, their bloody entrials being future lubricant for the rape-rooms of the eternal abyss.
On Monasteries:
The idea behind a monstery is to retreat away from the world. We want to advance and conquer for the Lord of Hosts, we want the entire WORLD to be our monastery.
But as for Medieval monasteries, often they were close by nunneries, and there are tales of heterosexual behavior. I think only when protestants left that the remaining homos took total control over the Catholic Church.
Think of it like after the Rapture: with republicans gone, the democrats will take over the country, resulting in gay orgies in every public park, and at least one gay couple rimjobbing on every street corner. In short, America will be a cesspool - but one cannot look at that and say America had always been a cesspool. Before the Rapture, it had been half-sane and half-cesspool. Well, that's what the Catholic world was like, and the reformation was like a rapture of sorts.
So, I'm sure those monasteries would have had a handful of True Christians™ who could smack the nancyness out of the others, but when they left to become protestants, all hell broke lose - literally.
Restaurant Review: The Chow Factory:
Hm, normally I don't like slumming, but it seemed like most of the middle-class people there had bathed and were mostly free from diseases, so I actually had a good time. The wine list was pathetic though - when nothing on the list is over 500$, why bother with a list at all?
I disaprove of tipping, such acts of so-called "charity" are the same as welfare, turning humble people who accept their lot into greedy, entitled-feeling whiners.
Overall, I think the Chow Factory is alright, the food is very fatty, and that's a good thing: I think there are too many skinny people in church, and that's making us look bad:
Proverbs 28:25: He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat.
Skinny people have not put their trust in the Lord. That's why Africans and Indians are so skinny, while God-fearing America has been made fat by the Lord. However, look around you and you'll notice that even here there are not enough GOD-trusters around. Landover Baptist Church must set an example for the nation: so chow down!Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 10-25-2024, 12:38 PM.
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