God bless you all

[Sister of Sacred Suffering]

and hello.
I am so pleased to find some people on the internet that share the same sentiments about Jesus as I do. I would like to share my story with you or testify if you will.
I used to be married to the Lord (I was a Catholic nun) and tried to live under vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. I say tried because I failed in my vow of chastity.
It all began one night while sister agatha and I were in the basement of the rectory cleaning fish. God forgive me.
You see it was very hot and what with the essence of the fish bucket and working in such close proximity to Sister Agatha ..................well lets just say habits went a flying.
I disgraced myself! I then decided I would go live in a cave as "St. Simon the stylite" did to purify my soul. I would often practice self punishment (my favorite being the cilice).
It was then that the Lord came to me and I was saved. I do still practice several forms of self punishment (especially when I feel myself being tempted by the devil or smell fish) but am now a true Christian.

[Unsaved and Loving It]

Re: God bless you all

Okay, time for the age old questions that come with new members.

A) Have You Accepted Jesus?
Do you read from the KJV1611 bible?
C) Do you follow Gods word to the letter?

If you answer yes, you will be welcomed here. If you answered no, you'll be in the same seat as I here.

[Sister of Sacred Suffering]

Re: God bless you all

Okay, time for the age old questions that come with new members.

A) Have You Accepted Jesus?
Do you read from the KJV1611 bible?
C) Do you follow Gods word to the letter?

If you answer yes, you will be welcomed here. If you answered no, you'll be in the same seat as I here.

A) yes, Jesus is my personal savior
I do read from

the

KJV1611, I also use it as part of my

corporal

mortification morning routine ( I use it to administer paper cuts to my elbows)
C) I follow Gods word

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: God bless you all

Welcome Miss Suffering. I am overjoyed that Jesus has sent us yet another mary worshiper to save. Feel free to read through all the pages you see here, and ask any questions that you might have. Sister Mary Maria may be of some help to you, as she is a recently Saved papist dog such as yourself.

By the way, I have to warn you that our godly forum is sometimes plagued with infestations of homers and goth tards, etc, scum of the earth, and you might want to be careful who you are seen running around with, if you get my meaning.

You might want to start with THIS thorough dissection of your former cult that I threw together for last summer's Vacation Bible and Gun Camp. Anything for the kids, you know?

Good luck!

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: God bless you all

you might want to be careful who you are seen running around with, if you get my meaning.

Like me.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: God bless you all

and hello.
I am so pleased to find some people on the internet that share the same sentiments about Jesus as I do. I would like to share my story with you or testify if you will.
I used to be married to the Lord (I was a Catholic nun) and tried to live under vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. I say tried because I failed in my vow of chastity.
It all began one night while sister agatha and I were in the basement of the rectory cleaning fish. God forgive me.
You see it was very hot and what with the essence of the fish bucket and working in such close proximity to Sister Agatha ..................well lets just say habits went a flying.
I disgraced myself! I then decided I would go live in a cave as "St. Simon the stylite" did to purify my soul. I would often practice self punishment (my favorite being the cilice).
It was then that the Lord came to me and I was saved. I do still practice several forms of self punishment (especially when I feel myself being tempted by the devil or smell fish) but am now a true Christian.

There are an awful lot of lesbian nuns it would seem. I wonder, are there any straight nuns?

[Unsaved and Loving It]

Re: God bless you all

There are an awful lot of lesbian nuns it would seem. I wonder, are there any straight nuns?

Sure. Although they sound about as straight as a bowling ball...

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: God bless you all

There are an awful lot of lesbian nuns it would seem. I wonder, are there any straight nuns?

Get your mind out of the gutter, harlot! Not everyone lives in the sewers like you.

The poor young lass never said that she was a filthy lezbean.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: God bless you all

Sure. Although they sound about as straight as a bowling ball...

That seems fair.

Get your mind out of the gutter, harlot! Not everyone lives in the sewers like you.

Nope. Some live in the cesspits.

The poor young lass never said that she was a filthy lezbean.

Sure she did. See, here:

I used to be married to the Lord (I was a Catholic nun) and tried to live under vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. I say tried because I failed in my vow of chastity.
It all began one night while sister agatha and I were in the basement of the rectory cleaning fish. God forgive me.
You see it was very hot and what with the essence of the fish bucket and working in such close proximity to Sister Agatha ..................well lets just say habits went a flying.

See? Maybe not a lesbian by nature but she seems to have partaken of cherry pie at least once.

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: God bless you all

Get your mind out of the gutter, harlot! Not everyone lives in the sewers like you.

The poor young lass never said that she was a filthy lezbean.

Though she's experimented with it.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: God bless you all

Though she's experimented with it.

Kinda like you.

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: God bless you all

Kinda like you.

I've experiment with lesbianism? That's kinda impossible since I don't have a vagina. Unless you know a technique that I don't?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: God bless you all

I've experiment with lesbianism? That's kinda impossible since I don't have a vagina. Unless you know a technique that I don't?

Once again, you are being deliberately obtuse.

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: God bless you all

Once again, you are being deliberately obtuse.

That's because being acute is no fun, nor is being right all the time, I mean that's got to put cramps in your back.

[Deaner]

Re: God bless you all

I used to be married to the Lord (I was a Catholic nun) and tried to live under vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. I say tried because I failed in my vow of chastity.
It all began one night while sister agatha and I were in the basement of the rectory cleaning fish. God forgive me.

Failing under a false church is not a failure; especially with the catlicks. If you had been wearing an altar boy's uniform instead of a habit you would have been bent over the altar getting sodomized by a priest; you can't win with those perverts. Just consider yourself fortunate you found Landover.

If you have any videotape of your encounter with Sister Agatha feel free to send it to me and I'll have some of the Pastor's pray over it and let you know if any further action is required. In the meantime please enjoy your stay at Landover.