Just wanted to introduce myself :)

[Miss Maisie]

Hi, I've been fortunate to stumble upong your site and I just wanted to say hi to y'all. A bit about myself, I'm a bit of a shy girl, but I've always followed the Godly way, and my Momma and Daddy always taught me the KJV1611, which is, from my understanding, the correct version, the most Godly.

I'm glad to see so much of the Holy Spirit in these forums, and support for the President. My husband-to-be is part of the armed forces and proud to have been sent to Iraq to try and bring some goodness to those people there. My Daddy says the Republican party can't go wrong!

I hope I can learn a lot from y'all. I do have some questions regarding the bible and some other things, I hope the Pastors can help me. I know tht as a woman I don't have too much need for books and learning, but until my man comes back from Iraq and I get married, I'd like to learn more from Godly people.

God bless!
Maisie

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

Hello there and welcome to the Landover Baptist Church forums, God's own forums.

Tell us about yourself:
What vile sins have you commited?
What's your favourite Bible verse?
Although you can't have "always followed the Godly way", as at one point you've been unsaved.
We've all been, no exceptions.

And your ignorance of that gives me some doubts as to your Saved status..
But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now, as you are a woman after all, and thus can't be expected to know or understand much.

As for your questions, ask them.

BTW what's the name of your husband-to-be?
We'll make sure that he gets sent to where the action is, so he doesn't do the work of the LORD deceitfully.
Praise Jesus!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

Hi, I've been fortunate to stumble upong your site and I just wanted to say hi to y'all. A bit about myself, I'm a bit of a shy girl, but I've always followed the Godly way, and my Momma and Daddy always taught me the KJV1611, which is, from my understanding, the correct version, the most Godly.

I'm glad to see so much of the Holy Spirit in these forums, and support for the President. My husband-to-be is part of the armed forces and proud to have been sent to Iraq to try and bring some goodness to those people there. My Daddy says the Republican party can't go wrong!

I hope I can learn a lot from y'all. I do have some questions regarding the bible and some other things, I hope the Pastors can help me. I know tht as a woman I don't have too much need for books and learning, but until my man comes back from Iraq and I get married, I'd like to learn more from Godly people.

God bless!
Maisie

Praise Jesus and welcome aboard! While it's very rare for a woman to contribute anything useful, you seem about as inoffensive as they come. Your daddy and your man do tithe, don't they?

[Miss Maisie]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

Hello there and welcome to the Landover Baptist Church forums, God's own forums.

Tell us about yourself:
What vile sins have you commited?
What's your favourite Bible verse?
Although you can't have "always followed the Godly way", as at one point you've been unsaved.
We've all been, no exceptions.

My, my, Mr Seeker, why do y'all assume I've sinned? I suppose being a woman I inherited the sin of Eve from birth, so you're right. And at times I've found myself frightfully lured by the temptations of the flesh with my man when he's been here. I suppose, again, as a woman, such things do some natural.
Would it be a sin to have held hands with another girl, Mr Seeker, or to kiss her on the cheek? I've held the hand of my friend Ella and kissed her cheek, and though it weren't nothing but innocent to me, she was awful clingy after that. My Daddy done told me to stay away from her after that, but I don't know why.

My favorite part of the bible would have to be Matthew 10:34, where Jesus talks about bringing a sword to the Earth, presumably to slay those who would oppose a Godly regime? Just like our Republican Party now!

Admittedly, when I say I've always followed the Godly way, I mean that I've strived most all my life to live as a True Christian woman should, sir.

And your ignorance of that gives me some doubts as to your Saved status..
But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now, as you are a woman after all, and thus can't be expected to know or understand much.

That's one of the reasons I cam here to learn from y'all! You all seem very well versed in Godly knowledge.

As for your questions, ask them.

I will, sir, thankyou for your kind offer.

BTW what's the name of your husband-to-be?
We'll make sure that he gets sent to where the action is, so he doesn't do the work of the LORD deceitfully.
Praise Jesus!

My husband-to-be is called Tobias, but I call him Toby. I'm praying that he helps to do God's work in Iraq and that God sends him home safely to me.

Praise Jesus and welcome aboard! While it's very rare for a woman to contribute anything useful, you seem about as inoffensive as they come. Your daddy and your man do tithe, don't they?

Thankyou, Mister Temperance.
I've seen browsing that y'all have different tithing plans available. The Lord has blessed my Daddy with a lot of money so I'm sure he'd love to contribute to your fine church. I'm sure my fiance would be glad to, as well, once he gets back from that awful place. Maybe he could tithe anyway? Send me a copy of your tithing plans and I'll see if they can send it to him.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

Welcome miss Maisle. I hope you stick around and learn alot.

You do have you father's permission to be here, I trust? This is God's favorite forum, after all...

1 Corinthians 14:34-36
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

[Sista Lateefah]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

I hope I can learn a lot from y'all. I do have some questions regarding the bible and some other things, I hope the Pastors can help me. I know tht as a woman I don't have too much need for books and learning, but until my man comes back from Iraq and I get married, I'd like to learn more from Godly people.

God bless!
Maisie

While it pains me to be correctedin' a (presumably) Godly Southern Belle up in here, I will axe thatchoo always capitalizize the word "Bible" from now on. The Lord do be very prouda His book, and He get ticked off when folk (even if unintentionally) does not give it the respect that it deserve. Havin' said that, welcome!

[Miss Maisie]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

Thankyou for your welcome, Pastor. Yes, I do have my Daddy's permission to be here. He said from what he's seen of your church, you seem like Godly people, and that I'd be safe from the corruption of folk who have cast their lot with satan.
I do see there are some people here who have all but proudly declared their allegiance to satan, atheists and witches and the like, but you always have a rebuke for them. I feel sorry for them though, how can they knowingly deny the gift of eternal life, and then try to spread their filth and damnation to Godly folk?

But, my Daddy always told me that satan's folks know they're losing when they keep trying to argue and turn folks away from the Lord. They know they're losing, and that God will always win!

[Miss Maisie]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

While it pains me to be correctedin' a (presumably) Godly Southern Belle up in here, I will axe thatchoo always capitalizize the word "Bible" from now on. The Lord do be very prouda His book, and He get ticked off when folk (even if unintentionally) does not give it the respect that it deserve. Havin' said that, welcome!

Thankyou for pointing out a mistake to me, Sister Lateefah. I see you've reached the status of Saved, even though you're colored folk! You must truly strive to be Godly, I bet your Momma and Daddy are mighty proud!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

Yes indeed, there are plenty of unsaved filth to be found in our Godly forum. Just ignore them, lest they tempt or seduce you into some vile act that gets your soul condemned to eternal damnation.

You might want to exchange recipes with some of the ladies. My beau sister Thumper makes quite a mean rabbit casserole...

Have your daddy click on the Paypal button at the bottom of this page. Our team of high-priced joo accountants are standing by to set up the appropriate Tithing schedule for your family. It is quite expensive to spread the Word of God around the world, so tell him not to be stingy.

[Miss Maisie]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

Yes indeed, there are plenty of unsaved filth to be found in our Godly forum. Just ignore them, lest they tempt or seduce you into some vile act that gets your soul condemned to eternal damnation.

I'll be sure to follow that advice, Pastor. I have some questions regarding unsaved folks too. I've heard they do some awful things. But then again, without the word of God, how could they have any morals or humanity?

You might want to exchange recipes with some of the ladies. My beau sister Thumper makes quite a mean rabbit casserole...

That sounds lovely! I'll be sure to ask.

Have your daddy click on the Paypal button at the bottom of this page. Our team of high-priced joo accountants are standing by to set up the appropriate Tithing schedule for your family. It is quite expensive to spread the Word of God around the world, so tell him not to be stingy.

I'll be sure to tell him, Pastor. As a matter of fact I might do so now. It's quite early, and I have to help my Momma with the ladies work. I'll likely be back later, but in the meatime, I thank y'all for your kindly welcome. God bless!

[Homertard]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

I have sinned! How? I tried being nice to Mr. Pastor! And look what happened!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

I have sinned! How? I tried being nice to Mr. Pastor! And look what happened!

#1) This thread is not about you, boy. Why do you insist on derailing every thread in our Godly forum?

#2) Being nice to a pastor is not the way to get your sins washed away. Accepting Jesus is the only way to God, and that means repenting your satanic ways and Tithing heavily.

#3) Your sins are so many that we would need to start an entirely new thread to list them. We can do that if you like, but it will cost extra.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

Welcome, Miss Maisie! It's always a blessing to get a new Godly woman around here to share recipes and modest clothing patters with!
Please forgive Homerta. The unsaved trash who find their way here get especially uppity when someone new shows up as they have orders directly from Satan to try and steal souls for him before they can be won for God.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

I'm glad to see so much of the Holy Spirit in these forums, and support for the President. My husband-to-be is part of the armed forces and proud to have been sent to Iraq to try and bring some goodness to those people there. My Daddy says the Republican party can't go wrong!

The republican party....well....maybe you should try thinking outside what you're told by your Daddy, and then you'd realize that they're responsible for a great deal of unpleasant things. For instance, your fiance wouldn't be in Iraq if not for them, now, would he?

And don't even get me started on the things the bible is responsible for..

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Just wanted to introduce myself

The republican party....well....maybe you should try thinking outside what you're told by your Daddy, and then you'd realize that they're responsible for a great deal of unpleasant things. For instance, your fiance wouldn't be in Iraq if not for them, now, would he?

And don't even get me started on the things the bible is responsible for..

You keep your meathooks off this fair White maiden, VanHellfire! She is following the teachings of Christ by obeying every word uttered by her dear father (her current owner), and later her husband (assuming that Jesus doesn't kill him over in Iraquistan). Just because you worship satan, it doesn't mean that everyone should.

A huge wad of infraction points will be headed your way if you attempt to seduce this fine, nubile young Christian lady again.