Greetings from the Academy

[Joshua Brooks]

Greetings fellow Christians,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Joshua J. Brooks, student body president of the senior Ex-Negro Academy, and valedictorian of the class of 2007. With graduation day soon approaching we are finally being allowed to communicate with the outside world once again after eleven months of instruction. We are still restricted to campus grounds for the time being, but that will soon change this coming Wednesday when each member of the our class will be "adopted" for seven days by a good, wholesome, and normal family of God fearing True Christians™. This initiative is geared to allow us to experience firsthand the way a proper family should live and how normal people interact with each other on a daily basis. Monday we will be finding out who our adopted parent(s) will be.

My favorite bible verses are found within the book of Acts, chapter 19, verses 11 thru 20. It has meaning for me seeing that I was formerly a magician who dabbled in the white arts. I thought I was fighting for the forces of good against the evil black magicians; however, I've come to realize that both white and black magick are merely two sides of the same sinful coin. I don't need magick conjurations or esoteric rituals when I have Jesus by my side.

Acts 19:11-20

And God wrought special miracles by the hands of Paul:
So that from his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them.
Then certain of the vagabond Jews, exorcists, took upon them to call over them which had evil spirits the name of the Lord Jesus, saying, We adjure you by Jesus whom Paul preacheth.
And there were seven sons of one Sceva, a Jew, and chief of the priests, which did so.
And the evil spirit answered and said, Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are ye?
And the man in whom the evil spirit was leaped on them, and overcame them, and prevailed against them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded.
And this was known to all the Jews and Greeks also dwelling at Ephesus; and fear fell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified.
And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds.
Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver.
So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed.

[Loser_seed (Quarantined)]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Hi there, and grettings!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Welcome and congratulations boy. You talk pretty normal for a colored. I guess they really can work wonders up at the Academy these days, huh? What was your major?

So what are your plans once you graduate? I hope you're going to look for a job and pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Welcome, Joshua, I'm Nan. These are powerful verses from Acts.

15: And the evil spirit answered and said, Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are ye?
16: And the man in whom the evil spirit was leaped on them, and overcame them, and prevailed against them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded.
17: And this was known to all the Jews and Greeks also dwelling at Ephesus; and fear fell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified.
18: And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds.
19: Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver.
20: So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed.

I am glad to hear you have given up magick. Some say: what could be the harm, so long as no one is affected? But there is something strange about it; secretive and isolating; a sense of disquiet; a separation from God. Curious arts are not meant for man; but miracles are of God.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

My favorite bible verses are found within the book of Acts, chapter 19, verses 11 thru 20. It has meaning for me seeing that I was formerly a magician who dabbled in the white arts. I thought I was fighting for the forces of good against the evil black magicians; however, I've come to realize that both white and black magick are merely two sides of the same sinful coin. I don't need magick conjurations or esoteric rituals when I have Jesus by my side.

Praise Jesus and welcome aboard, boy! It must've been pretty funny to see a darkie going around telling people he was a white magician. Still, I'm glad to see you've given all that up and been washed white by the Blood of Jesus. GLORY!

So what are your plans once you graduate? I hope you're going to look for a job and pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.

...Or shine someone else's.

[Joshua Brooks]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Welcome and congratulations boy. You talk pretty normal for a colored. I guess they really can work wonders up at the Academy these days, huh? What was your major?

So what are your plans once you graduate? I hope you're going to look for a job and pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.

I majored in Advanced Creation Science and took Biblical Philosophy as an elective. Once I graduate I will take a position at the Creation Science Museum as a representative of the University. I will performing continuous research in the field of creation science, ensuring all exhibits are biblically sound, and placing arrogant atheists, who only visit to ridicule and stir trouble, in their place.

Yes, sir. I will indeed pull myself up by my own bootstraps.

[Joshua Brooks]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Welcome, Joshua, I'm Nan. These are powerful verses from Acts.

I am glad to hear you have given up magick. Some say: what could be the harm, so long as no one is affected? But there is something strange about it; secretive and isolating; a sense of disquiet; a separation from God. Curious arts are not meant for man; but miracles are of God.

Indeed there is never a good excuse to practice magick. Balaam was a God fearing magician who took orders directly from God.

~Numbers 11: 7-13~
And the elders of Moab and the elders of Midian departed with the rewards of divination in their hand; and they came unto Balaam, and spake unto him the words of Balak.
And he said unto them, Lodge here this night, and I will bring you word again, as the LORD shall speak unto me: and the princes of Moab abode with Balaam.
And God came unto Balaam, and said, What men are these with thee?
And Balaam said unto God, Balak the son of Zippor, king of Moab, hath sent unto me, saying,
Behold, there is a people come out of Egypt, which covereth the face of the earth: come now, curse me them; peradventure I shall be able to overcome them, and drive them out.
And God said unto Balaam, Thou shalt not go with them; thou shalt not curse the people: for they are blessed.
And Balaam rose up in the morning, and said unto the princes of Balak, Get you into your land: for the LORD refuseth to give me leave to go with you.

~Numbers 23: 1-11~
And Balaam said unto Balak, Build me here seven altars, and prepare me here seven oxen and seven rams.
And Balak did as Balaam had spoken; and Balak and Balaam offered on every altar a bullock and a ram.
And Balaam said unto Balak, Stand by thy burnt offering, and I will go: peradventure the LORD will come to meet me: and whatsoever he sheweth me I will tell thee. And he went to an high place.
And God met Balaam: and he said unto him, I have prepared seven altars, and I have offered upon every altar a bullock and a ram.
And the LORD put a word in Balaam's mouth, and said, Return unto Balak, and thus thou shalt speak.
And he returned unto him, and, lo, he stood by his burnt sacrifice, he, and all the princes of Moab.
And he took up his parable, and said, Balak the king of Moab hath brought me from Aram, out of the mountains of the east, saying, Come, curse me Jacob, and come, defy Israel.
How shall I curse, whom God hath not cursed? or how shall I defy, whom the LORD hath not defied?
For from the top of the rocks I see him, and from the hills I behold him: lo, the people shall dwell alone, and shall not be reckoned among the nations.
Who can count the dust of Jacob, and the number of the fourth part of Israel? Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his!
And Balak said unto Balaam, What hast thou done unto me? I took thee to curse mine enemies, and, behold, thou hast blessed them altogether.

But that did not stop God for condemning him to a violent death along with the rest of the Midianites. I'm glad I found the love of Jesus before His anger was turned toward me and I ended up dying in a violent manner.

~Numbers 31: 7-8~
And they warred against the Midianites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males.
And they slew the kings of Midian, beside the rest of them that were slain; namely, Evi, and Rekem, and Zur, and Hur, and Reba, five kings of Midian: Balaam also the son of Beor they slew with the sword.

Are you really a woman AND a minister?

~1 Timothy 2: 11-12~
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Are you really a woman AND a minister?

She's an Anglican't. The only things she can do are pray to the Queen of England and pronounce sodomite couples legally wedded in the eyes of the Supreme Court. She has to pay us $50 a month to keep us from banning her.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

She's an Anglican't. The only things she can do are pray to the Queen of England and pronounce sodomite couples legally wedded in the eyes of the Supreme Court. She has to pay us $50 a month to keep us from banning her.

AAARRRGGGHHH

Waddaya mean, pay you $50. a month? That Gold Tither subscription is for 365 days, a whole year, Brother T

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Are you really a woman AND a minister?

To be serious, Joshua, yes I am an Episcopalian and a Lay Eucharistic Minister, licensed by the Bishop to give Holy Communion at the altar with the ordained clergy.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

To be serious, Joshua, yes I am an Episcopalian and a Lay Eucharistic Minister, licensed by the Bishop to give Holy Communion at the altar with the ordained clergy.

Oh, so you've been licensed by a Bishop have you?
Oh well, then every commandment God has given is wrong, because a Bishop has given you permission to teach and be uppity.
Of course a Bishop is much more important than God's Word, since after all, he's a Bishop and God is God, but not a Bishop.


Whatever titles you anglicant's may give yourself, you will never be real Christians..
But only a bunch of queen-worshipping idolators who constantly violates God's commandments by marrying faggots and allowing women to teach.

Jesus hate fags. FACT. (Gen 19:24, Lev 20:13, Jude 1:7)
Jesus doesn't want women to teach. FACT. (1 Timothy 2:12-15)

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Oh, so you've been licensed by a Bishop have you?

Jesus hate fags. FACT. (Gen 19:24, Lev 20:13, Jude 1:7)
Jesus doesn't want women to teach. FACT. (1 Timothy 2:12-15)

Well, since you probably didn't read a post of mine in another thread, go here, and you will see that during the Eucharist I don't give sermons, I don't preach or teach, and I don't speak except to repeat the words of distribution when I offer the Cup to each communicant.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=4019

Landover Baptist Lounge - I have a question - Post #11

To each communicant at the rail, we ministers of the Eucharist say:

'The blood of Christ which was shed for thee, preserve thy body and soul unto everlasting life; take this (cup) in rememberance that Christ died for thee, and be thankful.'

We ministers ourselves are anonymous and speak aloud nothing of our own thoughts or ideas.

And NO, I don't perform weddings. Our church does not recognize same-sex marriages, either.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Greetings fellow Christians,
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Joshua J. Brooks, student body president of the senior Ex-Negro Academy, and valedictorian of the class of 2007.

It seems our Lord Jesus Christ has helped you pass the paper bag test, Mr. Brooks. Congratulations and welcome!

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

AAARRRGGGHHH

Waddaya mean, pay you $50. a month? That Gold Tither subscription is for 365 days, a whole year, Brother T

Fifty bucks a month??


Talk about deep discounting!!


Odd that a person of supposed faith in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, would proffer money to a cult that espouses hatred and intolerance.


One would think a Brit would be better served spending that on dental insurance.


Bless you, my myopic maloclussionist,
Father Mo

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Fifty bucks a month??

Talk about deep discounting!!

Odd that a person of supposed faith in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, would proffer money to a cult that espouses hatred and intolerance.

One would think a Brit would be better served spending that on dental insurance.

Bless you, my myopic maloclussionist,
Father Mo

I'm not a Brit, Father Mo, I'm an American.

Why have I tithed with a paid ($50 bucks per year) subscription to this forum? To get out of the un-godly unsaved trash usergroup, of course.

As well I have been curious about the ... um ... Baptist faith, and have wanted to learn about it.

PS -- Father Mo, I happen to have good dental insurance, and good teeth.