[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

I highly suggest that the user named Cranky Old Men proceed by getting on his prescribed medication

I never take medication. Medication is for sissies who are trying to avoid what is coming to them. If God wants me to suffer, I will suffer!

First of all, Icelandic people are not going to hell, and for you to suggest that is completely and utterly wrong. You are discriminating.

Do you have any arguments to back up your opinion? Or are you just embarrassing your parents by demonstrating your stupidity?

Secondly, it'd be rather hard to study the bible if you removed your eyes and hands wouldn't it be?

You probably never ever used them, but most people have something called ears. Smart people use them to listen to reason. Ears can also be used to listen to audio versions of the KJV1611 Holy Bible!

Thirdly, I don't care to go on, but I must say that it is people like you that create the perpetual hate that slows down the progress of the world

Who cares about progress of the world? All that matters is going to Heaven!

[The Hand]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

First of all,

I highly suggest that the user named Cranky Old Men proceed by getting on his prescribed medication, other then that your ideas are completely flawed

First of all, Icelandic people are not going to hell, and for you to suggest that is completely and utterly wrong. You are discriminating.

Secondly, it'd be rather hard to study the bible if you removed your eyes and hands wouldn't it be?

Thirdly, I don't care to go on, but I must say that it is people like you that create the perpetual hate that slows down the progress of the world

Fourth and final, you're going to Hell. Do not pass Go, do not collect your belongings, and get ready for well-endowed demon menfolk to take it in turns destroying you anally for all eternity. I'm sure you'd like that.

[Motley Bum]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

Oh, my.

I hear Pastor Zeke holds bible counseling sessions for such TC ladies as yourselves who find themselves in need of submission.

Perhaps you may ask for his help and/or weekly schedule?

I hear that the ladies are usually worn out after hours spent on their usually feeling more ladylike after such sessions.

Hey Rachel Van Helsing

I must say I enjoy the fact that you are SANE and RATIONAL in this conversation. Keep it up

[Motley Bum]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

First of all,

I highly suggest that the user named Cranky Old Men proceed by getting on his prescribed medication, other then that your ideas are completely flawed

First of all, Icelandic people are not going to hell, and for you to suggest that is completely and utterly wrong. You are discriminating.

Secondly, it'd be rather hard to study the bible if you removed your eyes and hands wouldn't it be?

Thirdly, I don't care to go on, but I must say that it is people like you that create the perpetual hate that slows down the progress of the world

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

It doesn't specifically point to the type of vegetables to which the lady is referring, however. The seed which is mentioned in one passage refers very clearly to semen.

So?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

Oh, my.

I hear Pastor Zeke holds bible counseling sessions for such TC ladies as yourselves who find themselves in need of submission.

Perhaps you may ask for his help and/or weekly schedule?

I hear that the ladies are usually worn out after hours spent on their usually feeling more ladylike after such sessions.

[handmaiden]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

Oops, my mistake. I thought you were one of the sane ones here at the forum. Now that I know you follow the TC's, the question (and the desire to get vegetative action on your part) makes a LOT more sense.

I don't want vegetable action, I only want to submit to a True Christian man. The problem is that when the Bible really gets goin' on the vile descriptions of some sins (there this part about a donkey in heat . . .) I really, really want to submit sooo much.


Puritanically Yours,

Handmaiden

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

Oops, my mistake. I thought you were one of the sane ones here at the forum. Now that I know you follow the TC's, the question (and the desire to get vegetative action on your part) makes a LOT more sense.

[handmaiden]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

You do know they'll find ways to answer the question without actually answering it right?

Now my question to YOU is why this is such a concern to you?? Surely there's a dating site or something that might pose an alternative to needing to get down with a cucumber to get some action?

Oh, but as a True Christian woman I knew that there would be an answer in some key Bible verse where a Man of God, ( even an uneducated one* ) would find it and point it out to me while I waited submissively for the answer. I was just hoping that the verses in question would be more . . . descriptive. Many times I have read the detailed descriptions of sins mentioned in the Bible eagerly and repeatedly so that I could fully appreciate its vile manisfestions and recognize sin when I might encounter it.

Fatuously Yours,

Handmaiden

* No reflection on the Brother in question in this instance. I used to attend a church where any man could speak and the women were to be in silence. WHICH IS EXACTLLY RIGHT, of course. I used to sit in humble attentence when young, halting, inarticulate and partially educated men would stumble through Bible readings and the applications therein to instruct mature, possibly more intelligent women such as myself. Not that I could really be "more" anything than any man, except perhaps unclean.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

It doesn't specifically point to the type of vegetables to which the lady is referring, however. The seed which is mentioned in one passage refers very clearly to semen.

And please, if you'd like to try proving that semen is actually a vegetable, go right ahead, but wait for me to go get my popcorn. *snicker*

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

You do know they'll find ways to answer the question without actually answering it right?

Not at all. I answered the question and provided the proper KJV1611 scripture to back it up.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

But is is more or less sinful than sex with a person? Or is there no difference in the degree of sinfulness?

Because it seems to me that when God offers guidance -really not guidance but clear, irrefutable instruction -- regarding sexuality, He is mostly concerned with virginity or female chastity as it relates to the economic or dynastic value of his favored people, MANkind. Or, His instructions are concerned with the proper disposition of the second most important fluid in the universe after the Perfect Blood of Christ, and that is the Precious but necessarily Sacred Seed of Men.

So, as long as a married woman is not defrauding her husband by useing seed from outside the marriage and a virgin is not devaluing her economic worth to her father, I cannot see that getting friendly with certain vegetables is specifically forbidden in the Bible. Think about it, God was very, very clear about forbidding sex with animals, and as you,yourself, have borne witness, He is equally clear about what not to do with vegetables when it comes to our diet. Why would He overlook pointing out a sin that would send us to hell?

Of course, as always, if you can find a Bible verse that offers, clear and explicit instructions as to the use or non use, (preferably use) of vegetables in a non-dietary manner, I will read it relish.

Punfully Yours,

Handmaiden

You do know they'll find ways to answer the question without actually answering it right?

Now my question to YOU is why this is such a concern to you?? Surely there's a dating site or something that might pose an alternative to needing to get down with a cucumber to get some action?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

But is is more or less sinful than sex with a person? Or is there no difference in the degree of sinfulness?

Why does that matter? It is wrong so you should not do it.

Of course, as always, if you can find a Bible verse that offers, clear and explicit instructions as to the use or non use, (preferably use) of vegetables in a non-dietary manner, I will read it relish.

But of course. There is a different verse for men and for women relating to sex with vegetables.

With men sex with vegetables causes prostate stimulation which causes seed loss which is not allowed: Genesis 38:9-10 "And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also." Also often men will be looking at porn while having sex with vegetables which is not allowed either: Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

With women sex with vegetables causes orgasms which are not allowed: 1 Timothy 2:11-12 "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."

And in general God does not like any form of depraved sex: 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?"

[handmaiden]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

That will get you into Hell as well.

But is is more or less sinful than sex with a person? Or is there no difference in the degree of sinfulness?

Because it seems to me that when God offers guidance -really not guidance but clear, irrefutable instruction -- regarding sexuality, He is mostly concerned with virginity or female chastity as it relates to the economic or dynastic value of his favored people, MANkind. Or, His instructions are concerned with the proper disposition of the second most important fluid in the universe after the Perfect Blood of Christ, and that is the Precious but necessarily Sacred Seed of Men.

So, as long as a married woman is not defrauding her husband by useing seed from outside the marriage and a virgin is not devaluing her economic worth to her father, I cannot see that getting friendly with certain vegetables is specifically forbidden in the Bible. Think about it, God was very, very clear about forbidding sex with animals, and as you,yourself, have borne witness, He is equally clear about what not to do with vegetables when it comes to our diet. Why would He overlook pointing out a sin that would send us to hell?

Of course, as always, if you can find a Bible verse that offers, clear and explicit instructions as to the use or non use, (preferably use) of vegetables in a non-dietary manner, I will read it relish.

Punfully Yours,

Handmaiden

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

What about sex involving vegetables?

That will get you into Hell as well.