X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • #1

    Hallelujiah!

    Praise be to the Most High, brothers and sisters! I thank God through the precious name of Jesus that I found you Godly folks shedding the light of the gospel on these Godless Internets. Why, it ain't easy to come along True Christians in this devil's den. But I tell you, friends, I kept persistin'. I stayed the course, and didn't cut and run. And my efforts were rewarded by the Lord a-leadin' me here. Glory!!!

    Now a little about myself. I'm a deacon in a fundamentalist, independent Baptist Church way down here in Dothan, Alabama, one of God's favorite places because the sweet and blessed feet of Judge Roy Moore have tread here more than once. Not to mention the fact that this is also a beloved resting stop for the living representative of God's will on earth, our great and anointed leader, George W. Bush. Praise!!!

    My hobbies include fishin', huntin', shootin', casting devils out of Demoncrats and Episcopalians, protesting abortion clinics, fundraising for the NRA, burning rock n roll albums (except Ted Nugent ones), teaching Bible School and Creation Science, and voting Republican. I look forward to fellowshipping with you good folks on this here True Christian forum! Glory!!!!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Hallelujiah!

    Welcome friend. Would you care to share some of your favorite scriptures with us?
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Hallelujiah!

      Welcome, friend -- have you a favorite verse you might share with us? Have you tithed to Jesus yet? Glory, another lamb has joined the flock!
      Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hallelujiah!

        Originally posted by Brother Cletus View Post
        My hobbies include fishin', huntin', shootin', casting devils out of Demoncrats and Episcopalians...
        Praise! Right now, our boards are infested by a crazed Episcopalian who is possessed by a demon of atheism, so if you could fix her head, we'd be much obliged.
        O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



        God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hallelujiah!

          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
          Welcome friend. Would you care to share some of your favorite scriptures with us?
          Brother Zeke, I'd be right proud to. One of my favorites is Exodus 22:18

          "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."

          Now brothers and sisters, like me you are probably fed up by now with being persecuted when we try to practice our religion. Every time we try to practice our right to religious freedom, we are persecuted by sickular society for it. If you don't believe me, try grabbing some Godless, hellbound little Wiccan next time you see one, and then try practicing our religion with her. It'll baffle your mind at how quickly the sickular humanists in the court system will persecute you for it.

          Another one of my favorites is Leviticus 20:13

          "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

          Now friends, this is why I get so mad every time I hear about "gay rights". The only "rights" these homersekshul sodomites have is the right to be stoned by True Christians at the Town Square. Come to think of it, all these communist pinko Demoncrat tree-huggin' hippies should get stoned too, and I don't mean in a Woodstock sorta way.

          Deutoronomy 16:22

          "Neither shalt thou set thee up any image; which the LORD thy God hateth."

          Now brothers and sisters, this verse condemns the idolatrous practice of them old cookie-worshipin' hellbound Cathylicks. Those pagan servants of the devil set up images which the Lord hateth and fall down on their knees before them faster than Linda Lovelace in the L.A. Lakers locker room. It ain't nothing but a blasphemy how them Cathylickers prays to dead folks and count rosary beans like that was gonna get them to heaven. Well, I got news for those little papist devils. Ain't nobody gonna get into heaven by countin' beans or anything else. Math was an invention of the devil to confuse the people of God. For God is not the author of confusion (I Corinthians 14:33).

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hallelujiah!

            Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
            Praise! Right now, our boards are infested by a crazed Episcopalian who is possessed by a demon of atheism, so if you could fix her head, we'd be much obliged.
            Brother Temperance, it will be my pleasure to try, and with the Lord's help, will rid this person of the foul demon of Episcopalianism. That church is straight from the devil himself, with their ordainin' womenfolk and making alcoholic homersekshuls into bishops and all. They also preach this tooty-fruity gospel about love and caring for everybody, and all sorts of other liberal Jesus-hatin' crap. They even reject Creation Science and believe that we come from monkeys. They can't get it through their silly hellbound skulls that evilution is just a theory, and our Talking Snake Theory is every bit as valid....and even more valid because God Himself said it and He was there! Glory!

            Q: Why don't Episcopalians play chess?

            A: Because they can't tell the difference between bishops and queens!

            Praise!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hallelujiah!

              Praise Jesus! With so many witches, atheisn'ts, and false Christians who come to our Godly board, it's a real blessing to see someone join us who has the Holy Spirit strong within him!
              Posted via Prayer

              1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
              Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

              Blogging for CHRIST!
              Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
              All a-Twitter for Salvation!
              Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
              On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
              My Ladies of Landover profile!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Hallelujiah!

                Why Hello Brother Cletus,

                It always refreshing to see new members. You sound delightful!

                Tell me Brother, are you single? If yes, please stop by this post.

                Meet My Niece Gracie - The Landover Baptist Church Forum
                http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=90689#post90689post90689
                Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.


                You just might like what you find!

                Welcome to GOD'S Favorite Church!

                Lve, Sister Thumper
                Last edited by Daisy Mae Johnson; 08-29-2007, 10:02 PM.
                sigpic

                Tweet me Here
                My GODLY Bio Here

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Hallelujiah!

                  Welcome, brother.
                  Yes, it's very nice to see a sane person join for once.
                  Most of the visitors we get here are dumb and hateful atheists, only here to persecute Jesus elect.
                  So it's good indeed to get another voice of reason in the forums, to counter all the sickular madness we're constantly bombarded with.
                  Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 08-29-2007, 10:19 PM.
                  If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
                  A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
                  Proverbs 9:12-13

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Hallelujiah!

                    I bid you welcome in Christ's abundant love. From your posts so far on God's favorite discussion forums, I see that you have not been fooled by all of the secular nonsense from the liberal MSM and the teachers' unions. I look forward to fellowshipping with you.
                    This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                    Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Hallelujiah!

                      Brother Cletus,

                      What are your thoughts on the evil mudslime uprising in Europe?


                      What do you feel, as a Godly republican nation, America's best course of action will be to fix these problems?

                      -WIC
                      Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Hallelujiah!

                        Originally posted by Brother Cletus View Post

                        Now a little about myself. I'm a deacon in a fundamentalist, independent Baptist Church way down here in Dothan, Alabama, one of God's favorite places because ...

                        ... Glory!!!!
                        Welcome to the forum Brother Cletus, from Sister Noddy

                        1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
                        1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...

                        1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

                        Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
                        Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...

                        Comment

                        Previous template Next
                        Working...
                        X