[God "Peter"]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

Just thought I would share with you.
Also, I'm disappointed to see that you're apart of the Bible KJV.

[Noah Sole]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

Oh good another wacko pretending to be God

If you really are God try using your omnipotence to delete the repeat of your post...

[God "Peter"]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

What is this blasphemy? You know nothing of my work. I hardly even know who any of you are and you claim to follow in my quest for greatness. Something tells me I should smite you... ALL of you. You have completely disregarded my commandments and made a mockery of my name.

[God "Peter"]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

What is this blasphemy? You know nothing of my work. I hardly even know who any of you are and you claim to follow in my quest for greatness. Something tells me I should smite you... ALL of you. You have completely disregarded my commandments and made a mockery of my name.

[Jedediah]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

At first (possibly still) I didn't know if this was real or just a sick joke. How and why would a "Christian" forum feel the need to bash anyone who doesn't agree with them? I've been a Christian for many years and I've never read or learned that God wants me to call people silly names, ie, Catlick, etc. Even though I do not believe in the teaching of the Catholic Church I've yet to see that name calling is a good witness to anyone. And especially calling people "joos". God's chosen people are Jewish. Christ was born a Jew. This isn't Christianity, it's only making people angry and causing strife. I don't mean to make friends with non-Christians or to try and please man. I do, however, know that if the Holy Spirit leads me to witness to someone, that person will listen. If I speak my opinion I am not following God or listening to the Holy Spirit, but instead I am listening to myself!! While the fact is that the Catholic Church was the first organized denomination, it is not in any way the ruling authority. And I certainly do not worship Mary nor do I venerate her or the saints. But making fun of those who do will not lead them to salvation but will only serve to cause them anger and give them ammunition to say that we are not Christians at all!!! This is just causing strife and dividing us further. I am not here to "flame" anyone. I came here with the belief that I would read about other Christians and witnessing to nons. Perhaps I should reconsider this and move on.

What better way is there to show our Christian Love for them than to share the Good News with them exactly as it was recorded in the Holy Bible? If our hearts were not filled with love for all the unsaved trash of the world, why would we spend our time trying to win their souls for His Kingdom? The most hateful thing I can think of would be to ignore them as they wallow in depredation or, worse yet, molly-coddle them and tell them that their sinful nature is okay in the eyes of the LORD. God is very clear about how we are to do the work of evangelists and spread the Good News.

II Timothy 4:2-5
Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.
For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.

We are trying to snap them out of their delusion and exhort them to get right with Jesus! God has brought them here for a reason. For us to just ignore their desperate cries for help would be completely antithetical to the Christian Love that we all feel for all of you. Please try not to be so hostile. We are only trying to help you and the rest of the unsaved trash who come here spewing your anti-Christian hate speech. It's not too late for you or for them. We want you all to join us in Heaven. We want you all to accept Jesus' kind offer of Redemption and become a True Christians™. It is precisely because of our Christian love that we scourge and chasten unsaved trash.

Hebrews 12:5-8
And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

The fact that you lack the discernment to recognize our Christian Love for what it is tells me that your faith is weak and that you have not truly been Saved™. I exhort you to take your faith more seriously, that you may not just hear His Word, but truly understand It. And then, I want you to commit to Jesus and to yourself that you will follow His Word, exactly as it is written.

Matthew 13:14-16
And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive:
For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.
But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear.

It is not enough to merely call yourself a "Christian." You must be born anew of seed incorruptible (I Peter 1:23), at which point all further deviation from God's Word will not just be undesirable, but literally impossible (I John 3:6-9). If you are unable to fully commit to Christ, then you call yourself His servant in vain. Hell will be chock full with unsaved trash who went through life calling themselves "Christian" without having the faintest idea of what that truly means.

Matthew7:21-23
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Being a True Christian™ is not simply a matter of raising your hand when asked or checking the correct box on a demographic questionnaire. I truly hope you realize this before it is too late for you.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

Jesus is not a joo.

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

[bellusm]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

At first (possibly still) I didn't know if this was real or just a sick joke. How and why would a "Christian" forum feel the need to bash anyone who doesn't agree with them? I've been a Christian for many years and I've never read or learned that God wants me to call people silly names, ie, Catlick, etc. Even though I do not believe in the teaching of the Catholic Church I've yet to see that name calling is a good witness to anyone. And especially calling people "joos". God's chosen people are Jewish. Christ was born a Jew. This isn't Christianity, it's only making people angry and causing strife. I don't mean to make friends with non-Christians or to try and please man. I do, however, know that if the Holy Spirit leads me to witness to someone, that person will listen. If I speak my opinion I am not following God or listening to the Holy Spirit, but instead I am listening to myself!! While the fact is that the Catholic Church was the first organized denomination, it is not in any way the ruling authority. And I certainly do not worship Mary nor do I venerate her or the saints. But making fun of those who do will not lead them to salvation but will only serve to cause them anger and give them ammunition to say that we are not Christians at all!!! This is just causing strife and dividing us further. I am not here to "flame" anyone. I came here with the belief that I would read about other Christians and witnessing to nons. Perhaps I should reconsider this and move on.

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

Hi, I really want to know if this is a serious Church. It seems so off the wall in so many ways. I have been reading the forum all night and well, it's an interesting place.
If this is a elaborate joke, kudos to the creators of this site... If it isn't a joke well, hey the First Amendment is where it's at..

We only follow the word of God and the teachings of our Savior Jesus Christ. If we seem like a joke to you then it only goes to show how other churches have twisted and distorted His word.

Read the King James Bible from Genesis 1 to the last Amen in Revelation. You will then have the tools to distinguish between True Christians and false churches.

2 Chronicles 7:15
Now mine eyes shall be open, and mine ears attent unto the prayer that is made in this place.

Glory!

Jack

[Jedediah]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

Hi, I really want to know if this is a serious Church. It seems so off the wall in so many ways. I have been reading the forum all night and well, it's an interesting place.
If this is a elaborate joke, kudos to the creators of this site... If it isn't a joke well, hey the First Amendment is where it's at..

Do you find something funny about spreading the Word of God? Is proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus Christ a trivial issue for you? Our Church is as real as the very flames of hell, lady.

The very fact that you come here to mock and scorn our cherished beliefs is only further evidence that these truly are the last days.

Jude 1:16-19
These are murmurers, complainers, walking after their own lusts; and their mouth speaketh great swelling words, having men's persons in admiration because of advantage.
But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.

I suggest you get your spiritual house in order before the LORD pours Judgment down upon your head, woman.

[Irisatsea]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

Hi, I really want to know if this is a serious Church. It seems so off the wall in so many ways. I have been reading the forum all night and well, it's an interesting place.
If this is a elaborate joke, kudos to the creators of this site... If it isn't a joke well, hey the First Amendment is where it's at..

[Catherine Moore]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

I'm especially laughing at the flat earth one: please read a few reputable scientific papers to get your head a-ROUND the fact that the earth is not flat.

Puh-lease.

Obviously I don't read your atheist monkey loving scientific journals so finding articles is a little hard. this one (The Physics Teacher, Vol. 34, No. 6, Pgs. 342-343.) is the first I read and it seems to support a flat earth. I'd be very interested to see if you can find a single reputable article proving a spherical earth. Only within the last ten years please, we all know how much scientists love to change their minds.

YIC

Catherine

[Roberta]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

After reading these posts, I'm actually rolling around on the floor laughing.
The badges you offer are cracking me up: "Punched the most Queers"? "Ready for the Rapture"? "Flat Earth"?
I'm especially laughing at the flat earth one: please read a few reputable scientific papers to get your head a-ROUND the fact that the earth is not flat.

Puh-lease.

Dear RoryRetarded,

My level indicates that it's flat; is that scientific enough?
And while you're at it, puh-lease find me a sphere with four corners.
You probably think your ancestors were monkeys, too.

FAIL

[RoryReloaded]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

After reading these posts, I'm actually rolling around on the floor laughing.
The badges you offer are cracking me up: "Punched the most Queers"? "Ready for the Rapture"? "Flat Earth"?
I'm especially laughing at the flat earth one: please read a few reputable scientific papers to get your head a-ROUND the fact that the earth is not flat.

Puh-lease.

[Jedediah]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

Friend, no one cares about your pseudepigraphal writings from over 100 years after Jesus' death.

Indeed. The historical authenticity of eyewitness accounts has been shown by a crack team of creation scientists and Bible scholars to peak between 30 to 70 years after the occurrence of said events. This coincides with the approximate dates of authorship of the synoptic Gospels and the Gospel of John. Reliability plummets after this period.

And to think that there are those who doubt God's Plan...

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: READ THIS BEFORE YOU FLAME US!

What parts have been left out? Perhaps the Gospel of Thomas?

Pardon me, but my memory here is strained, but I do believe that that gospel is about Jesus killing children for annoying him, disobeying his parents (for which he should be stoned, naturally), and only hiding his powers to hide his identity as Christ.

Perhaps I have also forgotten other, similar parts.

Friend, no one cares about your pseudepigraphal writings from over 100 years after Jesus' death.