Praise the Lord!

[Brother John III]

Hello, everyone. I am John, and I have been lurking in these forums for quite a long time. I was overjoyed to finally find the True Christians on the internet, it is so full of evil satanist worshipers, such as the creators and users of the evil site known as myspace. It feels me with disgust to see that there is such a high concentration of unsaved trash in the world.

I hope I can continue learning from all of you True Christians out there and that we may all preach His word together. This world needs a major cleaning from all those false cults and religions such as catlicks and wiccans, and from those demon possessed people such as queers and retards.

Praised be His name,
John!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Praise the Lord!

Hello, everyone. I am John, and I have been lurking in these forums for quite a long time. I was overjoyed to finally find the True Christians on the internet, it is so full of evil satanist worshipers, such as the creators and users of the evil site known as myspace. It feels me with disgust to see that there is such a high concentration of unsaved trash in the world.

I hope I can continue learning from all of you True Christians out there and that we may all preach His word together. This world needs a major cleaning from all those false cults and religions such as catlicks and wiccans, and from those demon possessed people such as queers and retards.

Praised be His name,
John!

Welcome, John. Pardon us while we have the Department of Faith run a full background check on you. FALSE CHRISTIANS sometimes try to sneak in here.

[epiclulz]

Re: Praise the Lord!

Hello, everyone. I am John, and I have been lurking in these forums for quite a long time. I was overjoyed to finally find the True Christians on the internet, it is so full of evil satanist worshipers, such as the creators and users of the evil site known as myspace. It feels me with disgust to see that there is such a high concentration of unsaved trash in the world.

I hope I can continue learning from all of you True Christians out there and that we may all preach His word together. This world needs a major cleaning from all those false cults and religions such as catlicks and wiccans, and from those demon possessed people such as queers and retards.

Praised be His name,
John!

wut

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Praise the Lord!

wut

Friend, have you ever wondered where your life went wrong? Jesus can fix that.

[epiclulz]

Re: Praise the Lord!

Friend, have you ever wondered where your life went wrong? Jesus can fix that.

My life went wrong when I went to /b/


lul

[Brother John III]

Re: Praise the Lord!

@Pastor Al E Pistle. Not a problem. I have read the forums and can easily see why this had to be done. Such low lives among you! Heathen scum, molesting priests and other Satan Worshippers. I am surprised how you can with stand all this torment, especially those that work in converting the evil.

Keep up the good work, Jesus shall reward you all in the end!

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: Praise the Lord!

Welcome Brother!

Hopefully you'll find your stay in the Landover Baptist Church forums a pleasant stay. I'm glad that you recognize that we need to ensure that you're not some FALSE demoncrat-loving homer sympathizer, because we get a few of those from time to time.

Tell us, what's your favorite Bible(KJV 1611) verse? How many Bibles do YOU own? Have you witnessed any heathens to the glorify and love that only Jesus can give lately? Are you married? If so, what's your favorite mechanism to keep your wife chained to the kitchen sink?

What's your occupation? (Besides, of course, glorifying God in every action in every day)

Have you been following politics lately? Who's your favorite Republican? Have you had to stone any of your daughters lately?

My personal favorite verse lately has to be
Ezekiel 20:23

20 For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

It paints a very specific picture of the kinds of women we don't want our women to become... and that's why they're commanded to obey men, so that we keep them under control.

[Brother John III]

Re: Praise the Lord!

Tell us, what's your favorite Bible(KJV 1611) verse? How many Bibles do YOU own? Have you witnessed any heathens to the glorify and love that only Jesus can give lately? Are you married? If so, what's your favorite mechanism to keep your wife chained to the kitchen sink?

What's your occupation? (Besides, of course, glorifying God in every action in every day)

Have you been following politics lately? Who's your favorite Republican? Have you had to stone any of your daughters lately?

My personal favorite verse lately has to be
Ezekiel 20:23

20 For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

It paints a very specific picture of the kinds of women we don't want our women to become... and that's why they're commanded to obey men, so that we keep them under control.

I'll put my verse below with an explanation. I own about 4 KJV bibles. One to keep at home, one to take to my lessons, one to take to work and one just in case.

I have tried, though they were already beyond repenting. Streets these days are full of sinners though I always try my best to glorify the name of God!

I am not yet married. It is close to impossible to find a True Christian Wife here. Too many that stomp their feet talking about rubbish such as human rights...

I'm currently being Home Schooled by my parents, as well as working at a nearby Church (Not to worry, its not a filthy cat lick one) glorifying the name of god as well as teaching younger ones the true teachings of Jesus!

I do not have the right to vote, so my knowledge of politics is quite minimal.

As for verse. It would have to be this

Lev 25:45

Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, which they begat in your land: and they shall be your possession.

As here there is proof that Jesus allows those that are true Christians to rule over those that aren't. He approves that we can use them as slaves for not obeying him!

May Jesus be with you
~Brother John

[Sister Rebecca]

Re: Praise the Lord!

Welcome Brother!


Ezekiel 20:23

20 For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

It paints a very specific picture of the kinds of women we don't want our women to become... and that's why they're commanded to obey men, so that we keep them under control.

Praise Jesus Brother Zeke! May we all take wisdom from our wise and Godly men!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Praise the Lord!

As for verse. It would have to be this

Lev 25:45

Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, which they begat in your land: and they shall be your possession.

As here there is proof that Jesus allows those that are true Christians to rule over those that aren't. He approves that we can use them as slaves for not obeying him!

May Jesus be with you
~Brother John

Praise Jesus, and welcome aboard.