Hello there.

[OH_Lee]

Hello there everyone. I just joined up here at the church.

Boy, those questions on the sign-in page are tough, are they not?

It took me quite a few tries to get one right. I finally got it on the one about eating dung and drinking piss.

Anyway, I look forward to conversing with you all about the bible and Our Lord and Savior Jesus H. Christ.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Hello there.

Hello. If you can't get past the sign in question, you need to be reading the Bible more. You wouldn't be here to troll and mock God, would you?

[OH_Lee]

Re: Hello there.

I certainly would never mock God, sir!

As to my bible reading, read my profile and you will see that I read every day.

[Sister Sanctimony]

Re: Hello there.

What's your favorite Bible verse?

And are you single?

[OH_Lee]

Re: Hello there.

My favorite verse is the one where Samson slews 10,000 Filipinos with his ass bone. My dad always read me that one when he was drunk.

No sister, I am not single. I have a wonderful Xtian wife who dutifully bears my children and waxes my pickup.

[Sister Sanctimony]

Re: Hello there.

My favorite verse is the one where Samson slews 10,000 Filipinos with his ass bone. My dad always read me that one when he was drunk.

No sister, I am not single. I have a wonderful Xtian wife who dutifully bears my children and waxes my pickup.

God mocker.

[OH_Lee]

Re: Hello there.

Why do people keep lying saying that I mock God???

I thought this was a nice place.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Hello there.

Hello there everyone. I just joined up here at the church.

Boy, those questions on the sign-in page are tough, are they not?

It took me quite a few tries to get one right. I finally got it on the one about eating dung and drinking piss.

Anyway, I look forward to conversing with you all about the bible and Our Lord and Savior Jesus H. Christ.

I certainly would never mock God, sir!

As to my bible reading, read my profile and you will see that I read every day.

My favorite verse is the one where Samson slews 10,000 Filipinos with his ass bone. My dad always read me that one when he was drunk.

No sister, I am not single. I have a wonderful Xtian wife who dutifully bears my children and waxes my pickup.

Friend, while I may be incorrect and if so I will certainly apologize, I believe you are here to mock and persecute the Godly True Chirstians™ on God's Favorite Forum©. Just in case you are sincere, I will gently correct the errors you made in your posts.



Jesus does not have a middle name or a middle initial.



We capitalize the word Bible here, as a sign of respect for God's holy Word.



As to your Samson comment, this is the scripture you have so wildly misremembered.

And when he came unto Lehi, the Philistines shouted against him: and the Spirit of the LORD came mightily upon him, and the cords that were upon his arms became as flax that was burnt with fire, and his bands loosed from off his hands.

And he found a new jawbone of an ass, and put forth his hand, and took it, and slew a thousand men therewith.

And Samson said, With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men.
Judges 15:14-16

[Levi Jones]

Re: Hello there.

Why do people keep lying saying that I mock God???

I thought this was a nice place.

It is for those who are here to truly praise Him. I haven't seen anything of the sort from you yet.

What Church do you attend where you couldn't get past the sign in question? I'm going to call your Pastor personally.

[OH_Lee]

Re: Hello there.

Thank you sir for your corrections to my errors.

I always thought that Our Lord and Savior's middle initial was H because my dad frequently said to me when I was a teenager, "Jesus H. Christ, Lee! You've been in that bathroom for two and a half hours! What in the hell are you doing in there?"

My father was also the reason for my mistake on the Samson story. I guess he was telling it wrong.

I will work on my punctuation as well.

Yours in Christ

[OH_Lee]

Re: Hello there.

I don't exactly go to church regularly, although I enjoy watching the Bruce Townsend show on my local cable access. (See my profile for link to Bruce's wonderful website.)

I believe that reading the Bible and praying in the privacy of my bathroom will save my soul just as well as any church will.

P.S. Can I use those 1,000 infraction points at the Landover store?

[Phoenix]

Re: Hello there.

Hello Sir,

I am glad you found your way to God's favorite Church.

May the peace of the Lord be with you.

[Nobar King]

Re: Hello there.

I will work on my punctuation, as well.

Yours in Christ

Let's start here^.

P.S. Can I use those 1,000 infraction points at the Landover store?

Use them quick before they expire!

[Felicity]

Re: Hello there.

@Nobar King I always learn so much from you! It makes me a little sad that my dad no longer allows me to sit on your lap.

[Nobar King]

Re: Hello there.

You're a little too old for storytime, sweetheart. My lap can only support so much weight.