Praise Jesus

[yuki_the_fox]

Praise the Lord that I have found the True Church of God. For all of my life I have been around nothing but false Christian. I was raise a Methodist, but I alwas know it was wrong. Then one day I picked up and read the KJV 1611 Bible and I knew it was the True Word of God. I just today I found this site and felt like I was home.

[Talitha]

Re: Praise Jesus

Praise the Lord that I have found the True Church of God. For all of my life I have been around nothing but false Christian. I was raise a Methodist, but I alwas know it was wrong. Then one day I picked up and read the KJV 1611 Bible and I knew it was the True Word of God. I just today I found this site and felt like I was home.

Welcome Warrior of God.

Have you found the Godly© Paypal Button yet to show your True Love of Jesus™??

[Hushed_Agony]

Re: Praise Jesus

Welcome Warrior of God.

Have you found the Godly© Paypal Button yet to show your True Love of Jesus™??

Welcome Warrior, I am too a new found friend and follower of God's one and only favorite forum. I knew that I was missing something in my life. I have found it here, among these great people providing the ones without the word of our Saviour in their hearts, the chance to learn and partake in great fellowship of our Lord.

I have found the wonderful blue button of Paypal and have started a small but meaningful donation to our one and only God's favorite forum. Warrior, you shall too feel the love and the word of our Lord once that little blue button is hit. There is no experience better than giving to JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!
YIC
Hushed

[yuki_the_fox]

Re: Praise Jesus

Welcome Warrior of God.

Have you found the Godly© Paypal Button yet to show your True Love of Jesus™??

Yes Sister I have found it. But sad to say I do not have any money right now to give to are Lord Jesus, for I am in Bible College and it right now is taking all of the money I have. But I am keeping tabs on how much I would give each time I gave and when I'm doen with College I am going to give one BIG Loving offering to Jesus, if that would be alright.

[Talitha]

Re: Praise Jesus

Yes Sister I have found it. But sad to say I do not have any money right now to give to are Lord Jesus, for I am in Bible College and it right now is taking all of the money I have. But I am keeping tabs on how much I would give each time I gave and when I'm doen with College I am going to give one BIG Loving offering to Jesus, if that would be alright.

I suggest you "borrow" a Credit Card, because without making a Loving Donation, how can Jesus™ know your True devotion?

[TheConfusedOne]

Re: Praise Jesus

I suggest you "borrow" a Credit Card, because without making a Loving Donation, how can Jesus™ know your True devotion?

Its quite simple actually; pray to him everyday and listen to his word. There is no need for useless donations to people who want nothing else but money.

[Talitha]

Re: Praise Jesus

Its quite simple actually; pray to him everyday and listen to his word. There is no need for useless donations to people who want nothing else but money.

Since when has GIVING been wrong?
It's a process of self-fulfillment whereby the GIVER feels so much better having GIVEN a Loving donation to Jesus™.

You should try it sometime. Read The Bible©(KJV1611) and Pray for forgivness.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Praise Jesus

Its quite simple actually; pray to him everyday and listen to his word. There is no need for useless donations to people who want nothing else but money.

In order to listen to His Word you have to support His Church. Do you see the connection there?

[TheConfusedOne]

Re: Praise Jesus

In order to listen to His Word you have to support His Church. Do you see the connection there?

So if the Chrcuh needsa support, why doesnt the Pastors and nuns that work there place their own PayChecks to help support? Im sure that there will be more than enough money there to support it.

[TheConfusedOne]

Re: Praise Jesus

Since when has GIVING been wrong?
It's a process of self-fulfillment whereby the GIVER feels so much better having GIVEN a Loving donation to Jesus™.

You should try it sometime. Read The Bible©(KJV1611) and Pray for forgivness.

I have never gaid GIVING was wrong. I simply say that donating to what is already rich will not help it in any way.

Yes, I have done it. And not just sometimes, ALL OF THE TIME! And no, I will not read the Bible and pray for forgiveness because there really is no need to. Stating my thought is nothing to pray for firgiveness for.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Praise Jesus

So if the Chrcuh needsa support, why doesnt the Pastors and nuns that work there place their own PayChecks to help support? Im sure that there will be more than enough money there to support it.

NUNS?!?!? We aren't FILTHY CATLICKS! Where do you think the tiny paycheck we pastors get comes from? From donations. No donations, no check. And believe me, we only get enough to cover our most basic necessities. It's not like we are rich! The CHURCH owns my house, my cars, and the airplane that is assigned to me. If Landover Baptist didn't pay all my bills and give me an open expense account I would likely starve!

[TheConfusedOne]

Re: Praise Jesus

NUNS?!?!? We aren't FILTHY CATLICKS! Where do you think the tiny paycheck we pastors get comes from? From donations. No donations, no check. And believe me, we only get enough to cover our most basic necessities. It's not like we are rich! The CHURCH owns my house, my cars, and the airplane that is assigned to me. If Landover Baptist didn't pay all my bills and give me an open expense account I would likely starve!

Really now? Is the airplane really necessary though? Cant you just take an airplane with the rest of the population? Maybe when you do you can talk to them and see if you can try to save their souls, or something of that sort. Also, you really only need one car.

[La Vie Boheme]

Re: Praise Jesus

NUNS?!?!? We aren't FILTHY CATLICKS! Where do you think the tiny paycheck we pastors get comes from? From donations. No donations, no check. And believe me, we only get enough to cover our most basic necessities. It's not like we are rich! The CHURCH owns my house, my cars, and the airplane that is assigned to me. If Landover Baptist didn't pay all my bills and give me an open expense account I would likely starve!

Airplane? Wow, that's cool. I wish I had an airplane.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Praise Jesus

Apparently the unsaved trash who have recently crawled into God's favorite forum don't realize what it is we Pastors do, and just how expensive it is to do it.

We are commanded by Jesus to spread the Good Word of the hellfire that awaits most of the people on earth. We have to travel to all four corners of the planet, to every cesspool and third-world country we can find....unspeakably dangerous and sin-filled places like Tahiti and the many islands of the South Pacific, the Caribbean, and even Godless Finland!

We have no possessions of our own, save the trusty KJV1611 Bible we carry, and the strong voice we use to preach to heathen scum the world over. The hardships we endure would bring tears to your eyes if you only knew...

But aside from all of our trials and tribulations in carrying out the Lord's work, there is always the Holy Bible to consider. What does God say about Tithing?

Lev 27:32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, [even] of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.

Num 18:26 Thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, [even] a tenth [part] of the tithe.

Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

Only a complete moron would try and rob Jesus. Better hit that Paypal button now, if you want to avoid eternal hellfire. And don't forget to fetch your parent's credit cards kids! Jesus wants you to have that shiny new Play station 3!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Praise Jesus

Really now? Is the airplane really necessary though? Cant you just take an airplane with the rest of the population? Maybe when you do you can talk to them and see if you can try to save their souls, or something of that sort. Also, you really only need one car.

I have no idea what you are thinking. It is IMPERATIVE that Senior Pastors have immediate access to high performance corporate jet aircraft for several reasons.

First, we are required to travel to places like darkest Africa to preside over the birth of Angelina Jolie's children so they won't be doomed to HELL for harlotry like she is. Secondly, we need to make SURE that all the darkie babies she adopt are required to stay in the contry in which they were born. We DO NOT want any of them coming over here to become rappers and pie thieves.

My church is located on a desert island, but my home is in Freehold. So I need to be able to fly home every week to make sue my chink housekeeper, Ching Lee is running the household properly and beat her if she isn't. A Grumman Gulfstream IV costs about $6,000 an hour to fly and maintain, and I use it on average twenty hours a week or sometimes a little more depending on the weather in the Caribbean. So the donations, tithes and love offerings need to keep coming in.

I only have two cars in Freehold, both provided by Landover Baptist. The Limo, which picks me up at our private airfield, and the Mercedes which Ching Lee drives around. Of course I have an SUV and another Mercedes at my church, but those are a necessity as well.

I just cannot imagine that anyone would try to deny TRUE CHRISTIANS(TM) the access to a pastor whenever and whereever they might need one!

You should be ashamed of yourself.