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  • Rusty Sherrifs Badge
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Jun 2010
    • 6

    #1

    Hi from Rusty

    hi everyone, I am posting this very quietly as i still live at home with my parents, I am under the covers with my laptop shining my rusty sheriffs badge that my granpa gave me.

    I am on the look at for a religion to run away to because i cannot go living a lie anymore.

    Looking for advice from anyone.

    Thanks

    Rusty
  • WinnerNotSinner
    Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
    True Christian™
    • Jun 2010
    • 951

    #2
    Re: Hi from Rusty

    Right. We've have had a LOT of false Christians, mostly catliks and joos come here to try and mock our beliefs, excuse the interrogation.

    1. What Church do you attend, please cite links.
    2. If you do not attend Church, what brought you to Jesus?
    3. How old are you?
    4. Do you have any Atheist friends?
    5. Would you be willing to cut all ties with said friends?
    6. What is your favourite piece of scripture? How has this affected your life? Do NOT waste my time telling me you do not know scripture, you must have read something that brought you to Jesus.
    6
    A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
    "But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

    Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
    If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

    GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.

    Comment

    • dolphin
      Confirmed Enemy of God
      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
      • Jun 2010
      • 19

      #3
      Re: Hi from Rusty

      welcome in, but before you do theres one question you seem to need to answer before you are welcome... Are you GAY, and do you like rainbows?

      Comment

      • Brother Enoch
        The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
        True Christian™
        • Jun 2008
        • 4392

        #4
        Re: Hi from Rusty

        Originally posted by dolphin View Post
        welcome in, but before you do theres one question you seem to need to answer before you are welcome... Are you GAY, and do you like rainbows?
        Respectfully dolphin, what gives you the right to welcome anyone here?

        Only True Christians(tm) and in some cases forum members, who have not proven themselves hopelessly lost, can welcome the lost souls who enter our very PRIVATE forum.

        As the nice lady from the collection agency said to me recently 'govern yourself accordingly'. Wise words.

        Comment

        • dolphin
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
          • Jun 2010
          • 19

          #5
          Re: Hi from Rusty

          opps I stand corrected, thanks winnernotsinner
          7. are you gay or harbour gay thoughts?

          Comment

          • Rusty Sherrifs Badge
            Confirmed Enemy of God
            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
            • Jun 2010
            • 6

            #6
            Re: Hi from Rusty

            Originally posted by dolphin View Post
            welcome in, but before you do theres one question you seem to need to answer before you are welcome... Are you GAY, and do you like rainbows?
            How dare you dolphin!!!!

            You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas. I’ll bet you couldn’t pour !@#$ out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won’t go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.
            You’re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
            You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
            I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
            Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
            You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
            You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You’re a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won’t have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
            And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
            You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral[size] equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.
            On a good day you’re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient
            in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
            You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted
            fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
            You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate,
            noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
            I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
            Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid.
            You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond
            the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don’t have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.
            The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn’t really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success.
            True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us ”normal” people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are ”challenged” persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn’t have been ”right”.
            Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
            P.S.:
            You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb,
            evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive,
            mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-reta[size=2]rded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.
            (yes, I’m done now)

            Comment

            • WinnerNotSinner
              Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2010
              • 951

              #7
              Re: Hi from Rusty

              Originally posted by Rusty Sherrifs Badge View Post

              *****NONSENSE*****
              Why have you not answered any of my questions? This is not "copy-paste the longest rant you can find" time, it's "praise Jesus or get out" o'clock.
              6
              A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
              "But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

              Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
              If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

              GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.

              Comment

              • dolphin
                Confirmed Enemy of God
                BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                • Jun 2010
                • 19

                #8
                Re: Hi from Rusty

                Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
                Respectfully dolphin, what gives you the right to welcome anyone here?

                Only True Christians™ and in some cases forum members, who have not proven themselves hopelessly lost, can welcome the lost souls who enter our very PRIVATE forum.

                As the nice lady from the collection agency said to me recently 'govern yourself accordingly'. Wise words.
                so only respected members can welcome people to a christian forum?

                Comment

                • Dantro
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                  • Jun 2010
                  • 25

                  #9
                  Re: Hi from Rusty

                  Originally posted by WinnerNotSinner View Post
                  Why have you not answered any of my questions? This is not "copy-paste the longest rant you can find" time, it's "praise Jesus or get out" o'clock.

                  Well said winnernotsinner, obviously has nothing better to do than to waste precious reading time.

                  Hasn't even got the decentcy to produce his own rant and resorts to cheating by copy and pasting

                  Comment

                  • Rusty Sherrifs Badge
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                    • Jun 2010
                    • 6

                    #10
                    Re: Hi from Rusty

                    Couldn't be Fucking arsed mate to be honest, i have got carple tunnel syndrome you know

                    Comment

                    • Brother Enoch
                      The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
                      True Christian™
                      • Jun 2008
                      • 4392

                      #11
                      Re: Hi from Rusty

                      Originally posted by dolphin View Post
                      so only respected members can welcome people to a christian forum?
                      Yes. Goodbye.

                      Now on to more important matters. Rusty, plagiarism is frowned upon here. Your copy-pasted rant was mildly amusing, but not a product of your own work. Christians expect you to think for yourself, not copy the work of others. About the only thing you should quote here are passages from the KJV Bible. And follow them to the letter.

                      Learn to think for yourself!

                      Comment

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