I need help

[MrCampbell]

Hello Landover Baptist Church forum,

I don't know what to do except turn to God. I have done some very bad things and upset my family a lot. Last year I started taking drugs with some people from my old school now i'm addicted. I've stole from my parents and I feel ashamed of myself. I've stopped taking the drugs now but I still feel disgusting for doing it. I feel all that I can do is confess my sins and hope that the Almighty Lord forgives me and accepts me.

Please help me and guide me forum.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: I need help

Praise Jesus you have found us! Deciding to dedicate your life to God was the best decision you have ever made; I will tell you that for free!

How old are you? What school do you go to? What Church does your father take you to?

[MrCampbell]

Re: I need help

I am 17 years old and my father takes me to Morningside Baptist Church which is in Edinburgh. My father also home schools me as in Edinburgh there is no Christian schools, only catholic schools.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: I need help

I am 17 years old and my father takes me to Morningside Baptist Church which is in Edinburgh. My father also home schools me as in Edinburgh there is no Christian schools, only catholic schools.

Home-schooling? Well, anything is better than having to share a room with a bunch of catliks. They're not even real Christians™.

So, you are 17? Have you thought about marriage? This should be a priority for any young God fearing Christian™, so you can start making some soldiers for Christ; I already had a son at your age.

[MrCampbell]

Re: I need help

Home-schooling? Well, anything is better than having to share a room with a bunch of catliks. They're not even real Christians™.

So, you are 17? Have you thought about marriage? This should be a priority for any young God fearing Christian™, so you can start making some soldiers for Christ; I already had a son at your age.

Thats what my father said, although it's not ideal, he also thinks anythings better than being taught the teachings of catholics.

I am thinking about marriage, and my father is pushing me to find an acceptable woman. However in Scotland it's hard to find a pure young woman who is also devoted to God.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: I need help

Thats what my father said, although it's not ideal, he also thinks anythings better than being taught the teachings of catholics.

I am thinking about marriage, and my father is pushing me to find an acceptable woman. However in Scotland it's hard to find a pure young woman who is also devoted to God.

You should be pushing yourself to find a woman. Do you lack the ability to think for yourself? What about at your Church?

[MrCampbell]

Re: I need help

You should be pushing yourself to find a woman. Do you lack the ability to think for yourself? What about at your Church?

Yes, there is a girl at church but she is only 15. It will be 5 months before she is legally allowed to marry and have a baby.

[Maude.]

Re: I need help

Mr.Campbell, I have heard in Scotland there is a very serious problem with finding young wives who have not already been corrupted by the diabolical Bucky bottle, is this the case?

[MrCampbell]

Re: I need help

Mr.Campbell, I have heard in Scotland there is a very serious problem with finding young wives who have not already been corrupted by the diabolical Bucky bottle, is this the case?

Yes, you have heard of the sinful alcoholic beverage called buckfast. This is a serious problem, mainly in the west of Scotland. The sinful Buckfast causes young women to become crazy and have intercourse with strangers. This is a big problem for me.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: I need help

Mr.Campbell, I have heard in Scotland there is a very serious problem with finding young wives who have not already been corrupted by the diabolical Bucky bottle, is this the case?

You mean that freezable pillow thing? Tell us more.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: I need help

Yes, there is a girl at church but she is only 15. It will be 5 months before she is legally allowed to marry and have a baby.

Finally, we are getting somewhere. If I were you, I would be sure to have wedding plans made in advance of her birthday, so that when she reaches the age of consent you can get married immediately.

As Maude says, outside of God's favourite country good Christian(tm) girls are few and far between; best to snap her up quickly.

[Mingita]

Re: I need help

You don't want to know Billy Bob as i might give you evil thoughts about things of a perverse nature

[MrCampbell]

Re: I need help

Finally, we are getting somewhere. If I were you, I would be sure to have wedding plans made in advance of her birthday, so that when she reaches the age of consent you can get married immediately.

As Maude says, outside of God's favourite country good Christian™ girls are few and far between; best to snap her up quickly.

I shall go speak to her father tomorrow. I am sure he will have the same opinion in wanting his daughter to be wedded as soon as possible.

I am just afraid that he has heard of my past and won't give me his consent to marry his daughter.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: I need help

You don't want to know Billy Bob as i might give you evil thoughts about things of a perverse nature

Oh, it's like that, is it? That is diabolical. I will make sure my wife Ethel never gets one of those.

[Maude.]

Re: I need help

I did hear that once the young girls have consumed the bottles contents then they the bottle for terrible acts of lust.
As Winner not Sinner says, Mr.Campbell, you'd best snap her up before her wicked friends introduce her to the Bucky bottle.
Start producing those soldiers for God.