I'm Sorry

[Madison007]

I have realized the fault in my homer, Satanic ways and I am now ready to accept God into my heart

I only wish I could've started earlier. My father should have been more strict and followed Cranky Old Man's suggestion of beating 16 weeks before birth.

All that I ask of you now is to forgive me and help me on my way to salvation.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I'm Sorry

That isn't much of an introduction.

Tell us about yourself. How old are you? What sort of sins and depravities have you wallowed in? Don't hold back the details.

[Madison007]

Re: I'm Sorry

My name is Madison and I'm 19. Though I'm not proud to admit it, my sins include dressing like a demon, being bisexual, cursing and hating our God, supporting homers and so on. It's going to take a while to clear out my entire demonic wardrobe. All I own are horrid black clothes featuring gruesome, devilish images of corpses and blood. I can only think that Satan used me as "free advertising." By dressing like a goth, I could have influenced other people to do so as well and then they'd be in his clutches. Since Landover Baptist Church's building is too far away from my residence, I've taken up a Baptist church in my home town. The people there are so kind and they keep their children in good order. They preach the messages you do and remind us often that women are inferior harlots and children are to be beaten If God commands it, then it is right.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I'm Sorry

Well praise Jesus it seems like the Holy Spirit is chasing those demons right out of your colon. I hope you'll study the Holy Bible and read the threads on this forum carefully. Your immortal soul depends on it.

Now take all those satanic clothes in your closet out and burn them. Make a video of it, and post it on Youtube so we can see your sincerity.