I am....

[Melkpak]

Melkpak, and I am your savior.

In thy deepest times of need I hath been forthcoming with aid.

In thy deepest times of fear I hath been forthcoming with support.

I am your Messiah, I am the Messiah, I am your Lord.

Worship me as you worship god, thy lord, and all shall be well.

[Nobar King]

Re: I am....

Worship a Milkpack? You must be kidding/

[Jo Freddie]

Re: I am....

Melkpak, and I am your savior.

In thy deepest times of need I hath been forthcoming with aid.

In thy deepest times of fear I hath been forthcoming with support.

I am your Messiah, I am the Messiah, I am your Lord.

Worship me as you worship god, thy lord, and all shall be well.

Have you come to vanquish Darwin?

The Book of Jeff

Chapter 1
1 Once upon a time in the holy land of New Jersey, a worried, young Pastafarian named Steve went to seek reassurance and solace from the leader of his congregation.
2 “Captain Jeff, Captain Jeff!” he cried.
3 “Every day I see more news that the scientists are finding more evidence for their theories.
4 Theories that contradict our beliefs!
5 I fear the Dark Lord Darwin is trying to tempt me with his reason.
6 I fear his power in this world is growing and the Pastafarians are doomed. 7 You must do something to stop him and his science!”
8 “Uh… Dude, you give me way too much credit,” said Captain Jeff.
9 “I may be a leader of a congregation, but I‟m actually pretty incompetent.
10 I‟m not nearly powerful enough to smite Darwin, but don‟t worry, our savior is coming.
11 Soon the Pastafarian messiah will be sent by the Flying Spaghetti Monster to vanquish Darwin.”

[Colin Cameron]

Re: I am....

Melkpak, and I am your savior.

In thy deepest times of need I hath been forthcoming with aid.

In thy deepest times of fear I hath been forthcoming with support.

I am your Messiah, I am the Messiah, I am your Lord.

Worship me as you worship god, thy lord, and all shall be well.

Melkpak? Are you one of those Mooslims?

If not I'm afraid I will have to decline as I am a Christian

I pray this clarifies matters.

Beware false prophets everyone, beware.

[Jacob the Angry Liar]

Re: I am....

Melkpak, and I am your savior.

In thy deepest times of need I hath been forthcoming with aid.

In thy deepest times of fear I hath been forthcoming with support.

I am your Messiah, I am the Messiah, I am your Lord.

Worship me as you worship god, thy lord, and all shall be well.

If there be found among you, within any of thy gates which the LORD thy God giveth thee, man or woman, that hath wrought wickedness in the sight of the LORD thy God, in transgressing his covenant,
And hath gone and served other gods, and worshipped them, either the sun, or moon, or any of the host of heaven, which I have not commanded;
And it be told thee, and thou hast heard of it, and enquired diligently, and, behold, it be true, and the thing certain, that such abomination is wrought in Israel:
Then shalt thou bring forth that man or that woman, which have committed that wicked thing, unto thy gates, even that man or that woman, and shalt stone them with stones, till they die.

(Deuteronomy 17:2-4)

Everyone got your stoning buckets ready?

[skruven]

Re: I am....

Hello my name is Albin. I've joined this forum cuz im looking for answers and such.

and i think ur's forum is quite lame... (God forgives )

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I am....

Hello my name is Albin. I've joined this forum cuz im looking for answers and such.

and i think ur's forum is quite lame... (God forgives )

No, little troll child you have come to a forum devoted to God's word and you make comments about video games. I certainly hope you have a better handle on the rest of your life.
A question for you, does your mother know you are on the computer and not cleaning your bedroom as you were instructed?

[Melkpak]

Re: I am....

As your messiah I command thee to stop this bullshit!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: I am....

What is your favourite pasta dish?

[Melkpak]

Re: I am....

What is your favourite pasta dish?

The one that spells out god if you leave it alone for 70 centuries, proving god's existence!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: I am....

The one that spells out god if you leave it alone for 70 centuries, proving god's existence!

Obversely a false prophet there would have been nowhere to leave it 7000 years ago, any fool knows the universe is only 5000 years old.

[Melkpak]

Re: I am....

Obversely a false prophet there would have been nowhere to leave it 7000 years ago, any fool knows the universe is only 5000 years old.

god told me he lied to you guys about that, and I was here to set it straight

since we are on this matter anyways he also told me:

gayness is ok

ignorance is bad

extremists are bad

you guys are extremists

[Didymus Much]

Re: I am....

In thy deepest times of need I hath been forthcoming with aid.

No, you weren't. Where were you when I was trying to rush some bots thru Act 5 HC Nightmare?

As your messiah I command thee to stop this bullshit!

So after 1300+ hours of CounterStrike (a true messiah would have a better efficiency rating), you're bored and decide to bait some nice well-meaning True Christians™?

You could have read the Bible by now easily. I read it for the first time when I was 13. Harry Potter has more words than the Bible (1090109 vs. 788280), and you've read that haven't you? Go read the KJV1611 now so you know what you're talking about here. When you've finished (in about a year), the nice people here will be more than happy to clear up any remaining misconceptions.

Maybe something brought you here for a reason. Think about it.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: I am....

god told me he lied to you guys about that, and I was here to set it straight

since we are on this matter anyways he also told me:

The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn't s"

7. I’d really rather you didn’t go around telling people I talk to you. You’re not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can’t you take a hint?

[Brother Snapper Grogan]

Re: I am....

Everyone got your stoning buckets ready?

Full to overflowing and ready to demonstrate God's love to the heathen.