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  • Raymond Thompson
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Jul 2010
    • 1

    #1

    Greetings True Cristians

    Dear friends,

    My name is Raymond Thompson and I have found your site while searching for likeminded babtist.

    I have left my regular church because I had my worst fears confirmed. I had long suspected that we were not being led to salvation but as a good christian I did not see fit to question the pastor, even though his sermons were growing ever more liberal. He was preaching to accept other religions, that women was equal to men and so on.

    The final straw came at our latest church bake sale a little over 3 months ago. I was browsing the various sweet delights that the women of our church had brought when I to my chock discovered that one of the wives had brought a series of penis shaped cakes. I expressed my outrage and demanded that she disposed of them right away, but she refused and told me to: "Relax and have a taste"!!!

    I immediately rushed to the pastor to bring these unholy cakes to his attention. While I was explaining to him his wife walked up and she was carrying a black example of said cakes. I demanded that he as a good christian did disipline his wife and made sure these filthy cakes was destroyed. He expressed to me that he felt they were as he said: "All good fun" and would not do anything to remove the atrocities.

    I left the bake sale and the church right then and there...

    In the months since I have searched for true christians that have not strayed from the road to salvation. To my luck I have found this wonderful forum and your church.

    If you will have me I plan to join your church and move to Freehold as soon as possible.

    Kind regards
    Raymond
    Exodus 15:2 - The Lord is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation: he is my God, and I will prepare him an habitation; my father's God, and I will exalt him.
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: Greetings True Cristians

    You must think we're all stupid.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Johny Joe Hold
      Mayor of Freehold
       
      • Feb 2010
      • 12948

      #3
      Re: Greetings True Cristians

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      You must think we're all stupid.
      All of the Sophmores must be on summer break.
      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

      Comment

      • Sister Charli
        True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Jun 2010
        • 1590

        #4
        Re: Greetings True Cristians

        Mr Thompson (if that really is your name.)

        You might think it cute or funny to come into Landover and tell your little stories, but your little stories are in fact LIES. And we know that lies come from your father the devil. Not even Cathlicks would have phallic shaped cakes at a church cake stall.

        You really should apologise to all the Pastors here.

        John 8:44 (King James Version)
        44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
        2 Chronicles 7:14
        14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.

        Comment

        • Lisa H
          Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2010
          • 5070

          #5
          Re: Greetings True Cristians

          Are you homer. You seem to have a great knowledge of p***** shaped cakes. Do you bake them for your homer friends.
          Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
          Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
          Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
          Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
          Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
          Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

          Comment

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