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  • Cthulhu
    Unsaved trash, Demon spawn
    • Aug 2010
    • 32

    #1

    Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Jesus

    Last night, I had a glorious revelation. Jesus came to me and told of my sinful ways, and enlightened me on the ways of a true Christian. I stayed up all night reading through the entire King James Bible, and it really spoke to me. I apologize for any hurt I have caused through my sinful ways, and hope to be a part of God's favorite forum.
    I'a Dagon! I'a Hydra! I'a Cthulhu!
  • Nobar King
    Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
    Christ's Guardian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2007
    • 23748

    #2
    Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

    Originally posted by Cthulhu View Post
    I stayed up all night reading through the entire King James Bible, and it really spoke to me.
    Was this before or after all the other things you mentioned in the other thread?
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

    Comment

    • Higgins
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Jul 2010
      • 314

      #3
      Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

      May I say welcome...again Cuddles McCuddly. Praise Jesus for you finally finding Him and His Glory.
      Genesis 4:12: When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.

      Numbers 35:19: The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him.

      Comment

      • Warner S. Davidson
        True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Jun 2010
        • 586

        #4
        Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

        Originally posted by Cthulhu View Post
        Last night, I had a glorious revelation. Jesus came to me and told of my sinful ways, and enlightened me on the ways of a true Christian. I stayed up all night reading through the entire King James Bible, and it really spoke to me. I apologize for any hurt I have caused through my sinful ways, and hope to be a part of God's favorite forum.
        As we are a loving True Christian™ Ministry, it is possible to give your unsaved, dim, dysfunctional but tenacious self another opportunity to love Jesus

        A tentative welcome to you, but a also a timely reminder of what awaits you should you fail to become a one of God's chosen few........

        Revelation 20:14


        Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death.
        2 Samuel 22:31

        As for God, His way is perfect;
        The word of the LORD is proven;
        He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

        Comment

        • Cthulhu
          Unsaved trash, Demon spawn
          • Aug 2010
          • 32

          #5
          Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

          Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
          Was this before or after all the other things you mentioned in the other thread?
          This happened shortly after, sp it's a good chance that it was an alcohol-induced hallucination. That would also explain why Jesus was a black man...
          I'a Dagon! I'a Hydra! I'a Cthulhu!

          Comment

          • Jedediah
            True Christian™ Creation Scientist
            Fisher of Men
            True Christian™
            • Feb 2010
            • 6824

            #6
            Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

            Praise Him!

            Luke 15:10
            Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.


            Now the the LORD of Hosts has shown you the way, your next order of business should be to repent of your sins and have a full immersion baptism, so that you may receive the Holy Ghost.

            Acts 2:38
            T hen Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

            As soon as possible, you should arrange a tithing plan with LBC and/or your local Independent Baptist Church. Remember, you are not giving anything away. You are merely returning to the LORD what is already His.

            Haggai 2:8
            The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts.


            YIC
            II Thessalonians 1:7-9
            And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
            In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
            Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



            The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

            Comment

            • Capt. Aaron Portway
              One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers
              Salvation from Above
              God's Favorite Pilot™
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2008
              • 6309

              #7
              Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

              Originally posted by Cthulhu View Post
              This happened shortly after, sp it's a good chance that it was an alcohol-induced hallucination. That would also explain why Jesus was a black man...
              I'm having trouble trusting this one. Our Lord is a blonde haired, blue eye white man who fills the room with light and love. Not that I've ever seen him IRL, just in pictures in True Christian™ art paintings like this one:


              PRAISE OUR WONDERFUL BLONDE LORD!!!



              .
              sigpic


              Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



              God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



              Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

              Comment

              • Cthulhu
                Unsaved trash, Demon spawn
                • Aug 2010
                • 32

                #8
                Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

                Originally posted by Capt. A. Portway View Post
                I'm having trouble trusting this one. Our Lord is a blonde haired, blue eye white man who fills the room with light and love. Not that I've ever seen him IRL, just in pictures in True Christian™ art paintings like this one:


                PRAISE OUR WONDERFUL BLONDE LORD!!!



                .
                Judging from that picture, you believe Jesus was a very feminine man. This is blasphemy!
                I'a Dagon! I'a Hydra! I'a Cthulhu!

                Comment

                • Sister Charli
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Jun 2010
                  • 1590

                  #9
                  Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

                  Originally posted by Cthulhu View Post
                  Last night, I had a glorious revelation. Jesus came to me and told of my sinful ways, and enlightened me on the ways of a true Christian.
                  Praise Jesus!

                  Jeremiah 33:3 (King James Version)
                  3 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
                  2 Chronicles 7:14
                  14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.

                  Comment

                  • Ummalummadingdong
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                    • Aug 2010
                    • 115

                    #10
                    Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

                    Originally posted by Cthulhu View Post
                    Judging from that picture, you believe Jesus was a very feminine man. This is blasphemy!
                    That's feminine... He has a beard...

                    this is feminine:


                    and yes ...it's a man

                    Comment

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