Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Jesus

[Cthulhu]

Last night, I had a glorious revelation. Jesus came to me and told of my sinful ways, and enlightened me on the ways of a true Christian. I stayed up all night reading through the entire King James Bible, and it really spoke to me. I apologize for any hurt I have caused through my sinful ways, and hope to be a part of God's favorite forum.

[Nobar King]

Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

I stayed up all night reading through the entire King James Bible, and it really spoke to me.

Was this before or after all the other things you mentioned in the other thread?

[Higgins]

Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

May I say welcome...again Cuddles McCuddly. Praise Jesus for you finally finding Him and His Glory.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

Last night, I had a glorious revelation. Jesus came to me and told of my sinful ways, and enlightened me on the ways of a true Christian. I stayed up all night reading through the entire King James Bible, and it really spoke to me. I apologize for any hurt I have caused through my sinful ways, and hope to be a part of God's favorite forum.

As we are a loving True Christian™ Ministry, it is possible to give your unsaved, dim, dysfunctional but tenacious self another opportunity to love Jesus

A tentative welcome to you, but a also a timely reminder of what awaits you should you fail to become a one of God's chosen few........

Revelation 20:14


Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death.

[Cthulhu]

Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

Was this before or after all the other things you mentioned in the other thread?

This happened shortly after, sp it's a good chance that it was an alcohol-induced hallucination. That would also explain why Jesus was a black man...

[Jedediah]

Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

Praise Him!

Luke 15:10
Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.

Now the the LORD of Hosts has shown you the way, your next order of business should be to repent of your sins and have a full immersion baptism, so that you may receive the Holy Ghost.

Acts 2:38
T hen Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

As soon as possible, you should arrange a tithing plan with LBC and/or your local Independent Baptist Church. Remember, you are not giving anything away. You are merely returning to the LORD what is already His.

Haggai 2:8
The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts.

YIC

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

This happened shortly after, sp it's a good chance that it was an alcohol-induced hallucination. That would also explain why Jesus was a black man...

I'm having trouble trusting this one. Our Lord is a blonde haired, blue eye white man who fills the room with light and love. Not that I've ever seen him IRL, just in pictures in True Christian™ art paintings like this one:

PRAISE OUR WONDERFUL BLONDE LORD!!!



.

[Cthulhu]

Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

I'm having trouble trusting this one. Our Lord is a blonde haired, blue eye white man who fills the room with light and love. Not that I've ever seen him IRL, just in pictures in True Christian™ art paintings like this one:

PRAISE OUR WONDERFUL BLONDE LORD!!!



.

Judging from that picture, you believe Jesus was a very feminine man. This is blasphemy!

[Sister Charli]

Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

Last night, I had a glorious revelation. Jesus came to me and told of my sinful ways, and enlightened me on the ways of a true Christian.

Praise Jesus!

Jeremiah 33:3 (King James Version)
3 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

[Ummalummadingdong]

Re: Reintroduction: or how I learned to stop worrying and love Je

Judging from that picture, you believe Jesus was a very feminine man. This is blasphemy!

That's feminine... He has a beard...

this is feminine:


and yes ...it's a man