My introduction

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Re: My introduction

[QUOTE=Willard Wilson;573590]Hello my name is Willard Wilson. I am a republican buisness owner and I live in New York where I frequently preach to Jews coming out of synagougues. I am a former atheist and Liberal , I found God whenever my family forced me to attend a Baptist Church service in Texas. After hearing about the fire of hell and the evil agenda of the democratic party I decided to become a Christian Republican. The only probelem was I couldn't find a church that was right for me, but then I found the Landover Baptist Chrurch. LBC has helped me very much in the way I live my life and what I do. I am glad that I found this church and all of the fellow church members are very supportive. My favourite bible verse is Romans 1:17.[/QUOTE

Welcome Mr. Wilson

As you can see I am also new to this forum, and as you I finally has found the right place to praise the lord.
Im currious about how you manage to get the Jews out of there synogougues. Every possible thing I have tried to convince them, that there religion is evil has failed - please teach me.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: My introduction

Welcome to the Forum Mr. Wilson. Don't mind Jo, he gets on his high horse sometimes. Oh and Jo, it was my understanding that Hell in pastafarianism is a lot like your concept of heaven with the Stripper factory and the Beer Volcano, except all the strippers had VD and the beer was flat. It seems to me Jo, that your religion is a bit misogynistic since the rewards (and punishments) are clearly directed towards a male perspective rather than an encompassing one such as the rewards and punishments in Christianity. Praise Jesus.

Who is being misogynistic? Who is making the assumption that the Stripper factory would only cater to heterosexual males.

The Book of Penelope
a history of a venerated ancient prophet

3:10 and out of the building an endless line of cute guys
3:11 (with the occasional cute redheaded woman, told you she was trendy!).
3:12 Any way she watched and thought "that's the LAST time I mix my beers".
3:13 She approached one of the cute guys and noticed he was wearing only a G string and some 'pasties'.
3:14 MMMmmm nice she thought all but the pasties.
3:15 "It must be hard to look manly in pasties", she said.
3:16 "You don't know the half of it"! the cute guy said.
3:17 "What is this place?" cried Penelope.
3:18 "Don't cry" said the cute guy "for this is the stripper factory"!
3:19 "The Stripper factory?" cried Penelope.
3:20 "Yes our Lord FSM created it for all those who would not be big jerks and go around telling people what to believe".
3:21 "Well that seems decent of FSM but tell me why are there only cute guys and the occasional redheaded woman?
3:22 I'm trendy but not everyone else is".
3:23 "It is because you are here.
3:24 As with the beer volcano, so it is with the stripper factory.
3:25 YOU and your desires dictate the out-put....

[Sister Charli]

Re: My introduction

My favourite bible verse is Romans 1:17.

Agreed Mr Wilson,

We do not need noodles and meatballs to live.

Just faith!

Praise God.

[Higgins]

Re: My introduction

Welcome to the Forum Mr. Wilson. Don't mind Jo, he gets on his high horse sometimes. Oh and Jo, it was my understanding that Hell in pastafarianism is a lot like your concept of heaven with the Stripper factory and the Beer Volcano, except all the strippers had VD and the beer was flat. It seems to me Jo, that your religion is a bit misogynistic since the rewards (and punishments) are clearly directed towards a male perspective rather than an encompassing one such as the rewards and punishments in Christianity. Praise Jesus.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: My introduction

I see you are a member of the evil Pastafarian church! Your delicious God is obviously either a genuine satanic lie or satan himself. Remember that when you are burning in hell.

The threats of eternal damnation in burning lakes of fire are meaningless as no such place exists as the scriptures show us an Intelligent Creator would not go to all the bother of creating us and then torture us in such a way. No that is what a sadist would do, and is a sadist worthy of our love and worship?

Any quotes you give from the KJV CFT to back up you sick and twisted view of the sick sadist you call god are as meaningful as a quote from The Wizard of OZ as it does not come from the TRUE scriptures but from a work of fiction.

Let us look at what the REAL scriptures have to say on this matter...

An Announcement Regarding the Afterlife
*As transcribed by Solipsy and Auntie Dee Dee

2 It is my contention that a loving God of any kind would not Damn someone to Hell.
3 Darning them to Heck would be a problem for a supposedly intelligent creator.
4 Lakes of fire, boiling waters, sauces, etc, aren't a good choice.
5 If you want to attract "justified" persons, portray just rewards and punishments.
6 If you want to attract lunatics and sadists, portray violent punishments.

22 Not a real burning-in type hell, no boiling lakes of fire, just an appropriate 'reward'.
23 No more lunatics and sadists, please.
24 The current administration's quite enough.
25 Other people have other ideas, but then again other people are promoting Holy War, too.
26 Don't do that in the name of our FSM.
27 That's not the Way to Do Things Right.

Muellers I
a letter to the Macaronians

20 It is most troubling to me, however, to see that there is argument among you that some sort of separate Hell,
21 where those not of The Faith in Our Lord Glob may be thought to go upon their death.
22 No, verily no!
23 This is not the way of His Great Tastiness.
24 He may be most peevish toward the non-believer, t‟is true, as the many accounts of His pranks do demonstrate.
25 He condemneth not, however, any of His Creatures to eternal torment -
26 that is one of the many great sillinesses devised by other earthly religions!
27 There is a place in Heaven, though not necessarily pleasant, for all His Creatures.

48 The Flying Spaghetti Monster who is Our Lord did not create us that we might simply then be condemned for failing to believe in Him.
49 What kind of crazy scheme is that;
50 to bestow his Creatures with life, then to throw that life he bestowed into eternal torment?
51 That is the way of evil deities, not good ones.
52 Our One Who Flies and is Saucy understands that life among beings with free will, on a planet with natural systems that cause tumult, and Scientifically Intelligently Designed by a deity who is prankish and can be peevish, should not end in eternal misery.
53 That‟s insane.
54 What kind of fool would believe such a being worthy of worship?

[Willard Wilson]

Re: My introduction

I see you are a member of the evil Pastafarian church! Your delicious God is obviously either a fake satanic lie or satan himself. Remember that when you are burning in hell.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: My introduction

After hearing about the fire of hell

A myth to control the feeble minded.

[Willard Wilson]

Hello my name is Willard Wilson. I am a republican buisness owner and I live in New York where I frequently preach to Jews coming out of synagougues. I am a former atheist and Liberal , I found God whenever my family forced me to attend a Baptist Church service in Texas. After hearing about the fire of hell and the evil agenda of the democratic party I decided to become a Christian Republican. The only probelem was I couldn't find a church that was right for me, but then I found the Landover Baptist Chrurch. LBC has helped me very much in the way I live my life and what I do. I am glad that I found this church and all of the fellow church members are very supportive. My favourite bible verse is Romans 1:17.