Howdy.

[MusicInHerHeart]

A small introduction, I think, would be a good thing to do.

I'm Kathryn, and I moved to my current location, North Texas, five years ago. I do believe in God, and I first asked Him to enter my heart at the age of 7. My hobbies include dancing, reading, playing the clarinet, writing, and photography. God has instilled a burning passion for both photography and music in me, and I am currently asking Him to show me whether I should pursue a career in photojournalism or earn a Bachelor's of Music Education.


I will be completely honest from the get-go: I have been discussing religion and different people's beliefs on another forum. A member I've come to know reasonably well on said forum is a Wiccan. She is also posting in the religion thread, and she posted a link to the Landover website. I dug around the site for about an hour and decided to join the forum to find out what members of Landover Baptist themselves have to say about their beliefs.

Thanks for your time; I'll shut up now.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Howdy.

Welcome to God's favorite forum young lady. I hope that you'll read these threads carefully and take them to heart. I noticed that you failed to mention which denomination you belong to, and which Bible you use.

If you were a True Christian™ girl, you'd be enrolling in Landover Baptist University's Advanced Degree in Mothehood program. Take a look at THIS.

That "I'll shut up now" shows that you understand your place. Keep it up and you'll find yourself a Godly husband in no time. Can you cook at all? Which kind of pie is your specialty?

[MusicInHerHeart]

Re: Howdy.

Welcome to God's favorite forum young lady. I hope that you'll read these threads carefully and take them to heart. I noticed that you failed to mention which denomination you belong to, and which Bible you use.

If you were a True Christian™ girl, you'd be enrolling in Landover Baptist University's Advanced Degree in Mothehood program. Take a look at THIS.

That "I'll shut up now" shows that you understand your place. Keep it up and you'll find yourself a Godly husband in no time. Can you cook at all? Which kind of pie is your specialty?

Terribly sorry about that; technically, I'm part of Assemblies of God, as my church has recently joined them. The AoG church believes precisely the same thing my church believes and that I have believed my whole life. (An index of AoG beliefs can be found here.) However, I was raised "non-denominational;" that is to say, my family never associated ourselves with a single church. Rather, we believe in having a personal relationship with God, not in being religious as most of the American church does.

I, along with the rest of my family, use the NIV for what you could call "regular" use, though we keep a number of editions in our home and often reference them with each other to better understand the context of what we read.

Sorry, but I'll pass on the motherhood degree. I prefer the route of following the passions God has given me, whether through a BME or in photojournalism (as previously stated), and simply waiting for God to bring my future husband and myself together in His divine timing.

Actually, the "I'll shut up now" was due to the fact that I felt I was rambling on and on, a nasty habit I have.

And again, sorry, but I can't bake to save my life. I even manage to botch the cookie recipes on the back of the bags of the Nestle chocolate chips.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Howdy.

I, along with the rest of my family, use the NIV for what you could call "regular" use, though we keep a number of editions in our home and often reference them with each other to better understand the context of what we read.

You need to throw your NIV in the garbage where it belongs and get yourself a King James Bible.

But before you throw your NIV away, try and see if you can pass the NIV Challenge.

Take a look at this.
And this.
And this.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Meserti]

Re: Howdy.

Kathryn, these disgusting people are sexually Biased, they have this mental handicap, there isn't really a point to actually talk to them, they cannot see your full potential, they cannot accept that you make your own choice and have your open minded views.

do have fun enjoying the inane sight of Christian Cultists trying to believe they are gods themselves.

[Magnum Innominandum]

Re: Howdy.

Kathryn, these disgusting people are sexually Biased, they have this mental handicap, there isn't really a point to actually talk to them, they cannot see your full potential, they cannot accept that you make your own choice and have your open minded views.

do have fun enjoying the inane sight of Christian Cultists trying to believe they are gods themselves.

"Open minded" and these other phrases you overuse until they are as tattered as your favorite pair of black underwear after a night of iniquity, you lost little lesbian harlot, are revealing -- surely you've heard the expression "your mind is so open that your brains are spilling out"? Your mind is shut to the Lord -- but it is apparently open to any passing exotic abomination that strikes your diseased fancy. The dank ellipses of your Godless brain doubtless moisten at the approach of Hindoo idols. The peacocks of the Yazidi have probably already spurted in your smart little mouth.

So you think sexual bias is bad, do you? Thou hast moreover multiplied thy fornication in the land of Canaan unto Chaldea; and yet thou wast not satisfied herewith. (Ezekiel 16:29). Thou hast also committed fornication with the Egyptians thy neighbours, great of flesh; and hast increased thy whoredoms, to provoke me to anger. (Ezekiel 16:26)

True Christians™ are indeed biased, sexually and otherwise -- biased towards God. It's like this, wretch -- say that after one of your fornications you wake up hungry in the mansion of the one to whom you've rented your body for the night and find long tables laden with an array of food. Would you lack bias in choosing between, say, the droppings of rabid goats and la cuisine minceur? Knowing you (and knowing you isn't hard, probably not even in the biblical sense), you probably would slurp up the goat droppings just to see what they're like -- maybe you'd find the worms writhing within them attractive, their being as pallid as you are.

In reality -- in spiritual reality -- there is a Book that tells you what to eat and what not to eat, so that you don't have to stagger around stuffing your face with goat droppings. That Book is the Bible, KJV 1611. God, the Creator of all things, already knows what's good for you and what sort of experimentation will lead you to something like Sharon Stone's last scene in Casino. And in reality -- in spiritual reality -- all of the apparent delicacies in the mansion you are in, even la cuisine minceur, are the equivalent of goat feces. For the mansion you are in is Satan's.

Close your mind to the rubbish in which you nest, Meserti, and open your heart to the Lord. As I said before, if you move your probably anemic body back to America, and to its heartland, a few weeks' toil in the fields will get you a nice tan and maybe even a Christian husband. Act, harlot -- before it's too late!

Sincerely,
Magna, née Magnus

[MusicInHerHeart]

Re: Howdy.

Meserti You know, I joined yesterday and already I can see that's the case....

Billy-Reuben Who's to say I can't use both? I find NIV easier to read on a regular basis due to it being written in the vernacular. If I have any doubts or concerns while reading a passage, I'll gladly go look it up in the King James to see what I'm missing or if anything's been changed.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Howdy.

Meserti You know, I joined yesterday and already I can see that's the case....

You know that she is a self-confessed lezbean witch, right?

Billy-Reuben Who's to say I can't use both? I find NIV easier to read on a regular basis due to it being written in the vernacular. If I have any doubts or concerns while reading a passage, I'll gladly go look it up in the King James to see what I'm missing or if anything's been changed.

Who's to say? God Almighty, that's who. The KJV1611 Bible was given to us directly by God. All the rest are garbage, used by false churches. Take a look at THIS!

[MusicInHerHeart]

Re: Howdy.

You know that she is a self-confessed lezbean witch, right?



Who's to say? God Almighty, that's who. The KJV1611 Bible was given to us directly by God. All the rest are garbage, used by false churches. Take a look at THIS!

To the former, no, but you can hardly blame me as I only joined yesterday.
Jesus was friend to all, even prostitute and leper outcasts. Why, then, are so you bent on hating her, if we are to be as Christ and love all?

To the latter, please explain to me why Landover is the "true" church and anyone that doesn't follow it is going straight to Hell.

From what I know about my God, I have come to the conclusion that one gains entrance to Heaven by believing He is the one and only God, accepting Him into their heart, and for the rest of his days attempting to live out God's commands.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Howdy.

please explain to me why Landover is the "true" church and anyone that doesn't follow it is going straight to Hell.

He didn't say that. He said churches that don't use the KJV are false.

The NIV and the other false translations contain many subtle yet heretical doctrinal changes. Did you know that all English languages Bibles other than the KJV are published by Harper-Collins or its subsidiaries. Harper-Collins also publishes gay sex how-to manuals and the Satanic Bible.

Matt 7:16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

From what I know about my God, I have come to the conclusion that one gains entrance to Heaven by believing He is the one and only God, accepting Him into their heart, and for the rest of his days attempting to live out God's commands.

Wrong. Mere belief and attempts aren't enough. You can't save yourself. You have to be born again. You have to be convicted of you sins by the Holy Ghost, and washed clean. You have to repent of your sins, and do not return to them.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[MusicInHerHeart]

Re: Howdy.

Did you know that all English languages Bibles other than the KJV are published by Harper-Collins or its subsidiaries. Harper-Collins also publishes gay sex how-to manuals and the Satanic Bible.

I am well aware of that fact. However, it is understandable in today's whacked out society. Harper-Collins is a company, and the vast majority of companies have only a single goal in mind: making as much money as they can. Christianity is one of the major religions in the world today; can you really not expect them to take over all production of the English language Bibles, excluding KJV, since it's a huge industry that probably makes them millions of dollars a year?

Wrong. Mere belief and attempts aren't enough. You can't save yourself. You have to be born again. You have to be convicted of you sins by the Holy Ghost, and washed clean. You have to repent of your sins, and do not return to them.

Again, I see I was not being concise enough for you to understand the point I was trying to make.

No man can be completely sin-free, though we must all strive for exactly that. When we ask God into our heart, the Holy Ghost begins to show us what we're doing right and what we need to work on. We ask God to help us overcome addictions, practice good habits, etc. This becomes a lifelong process of us wishing and wholeheartedly trying to fulfill God's commands, specifically here the command of committing no sin.

[JennyD]

Re: Howdy.

No man can be completely sin-free, though we must all strive for exactly that. When we ask God into our heart, the Holy Ghost begins to show us what we're doing right and what we need to work on. We ask God to help us overcome addictions, practice good habits, etc. This becomes a lifelong process of us wishing and wholeheartedly trying to fulfill God's commands, specifically here the command of committing no sin.

A True Christian is incapable of sin. So, I guess you've not made it yet, dear.

1 John 3:19 spells it out: Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

See, we've got God's seed in us, so we CAN NOT sin.

Now, wouldn't you rather have God's seed in you than, say, that of those rock musicians from the truck stop? Yes, I thought so.

[Joe the Atheist]

Re: Howdy.

A True Christian is incapable of sin.

Incapable of admitting sin, maybe.

I heard that Sunnis don't recognize Shiites as Muslims, Protestants don't recognize the Pope's authority, Baptists don't recognize each other at Hooters, and Republicans don't recognize each other in public restrooms.

--Joe

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: Howdy.

A True Christian is incapable of sin. So, I guess you've not made it yet, dear.

1 John 3:19 spells it out: Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

I do believe that Sister Jenny has the right of it. Before I was saved, I used to commit the sin of adultery whenever I thought about Charlize Theron, supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio, the Jewess Natalie Portman, the lesbian Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman, supermodel Heidi Klum, Eva Longoria, Jennifer Aniston, the negress Beyonce Knowles, Gwynneth Paltrow, the negress Hally Berry, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Catherine Zeta-Jones, that Hilton chick (not Paris, the good looking one), Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba, the Olsen twins (but only when I thought about both of them together at the same time), Scarlett Johansson, the witch Hermione Granger, rock and roll musician Avril Lavigne, Heather Locklear, ABC News correspondent Liz Marlantes, the witch Lindsay Lohan, that Spears chick (not Britney, the good looking one), and Danica Patrick.

But now, nothing. I don't even think of them at all (well, maybe once in a while Jessica Alba and Angelina Jolie). And, for the record, I was kidding about Hillary Clinton (she makes me think about breaking an entirely different commandment). I just wanted to see who was paying attention.