Returning to the fold

[marklbrile]

Hi, I've been a Christian most of my life (Baptist), but strayed from the fold in my early 20's and stopped going to church for most of my adult life. I've recently been experiencing very severe depression after losing my job, wife and kids to major drug abuse - I sort of feel like Job. Do you think if I become a member of your church and clean up my act God will give me everything back? You guys seem like straight shooters so I was hoping you can help me out. I live out west, so I'd probably need to attend your services via internet conference or something like that. Let me know what services you have available so I can take part in your services and get back on the right path.

Thanks,

Mark

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Returning to the fold

I'm sorry, in what way are you like Job?

Job walked upright in the ways of the Lord, praising Him daily. You abandoned Him.

Job did no sin; he was righteous. You have clearly sinned greatly before God.

Job was subjected to having his cattle, servants, wife, and children all killed, and inflicted with festering boils from head to toe, because God bet Satan that Job wouldn't stop praising Him no matter what.

Again, in what way exactly do you feel you are "like Job"?

And why is your avatar that of an evil sorcerer from the Harry Potter books? Lord Mouldybutt, I believe it is? How is that a Christian choice?

[marklbrile]

Re: Returning to the fold

Paul says all have sinned, but you say Job didn't sin - now I'm confused. Maybe it was different back then during those OT years, who knows. Anyway, I guess losing everything like Job did makes me feel like I can relate to some extent. I mean, I did serve God in my youth - does that count for anything? I hope I've answered your question. Maybe if I get right with him he'll make it all better. Do you think that's possible, or am I completely without hope?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Returning to the fold

Paul says all have sinned, but you say Job didn't sin - now I'm confused. Maybe it was different back then during those OT years, who knows. Anyway, I guess losing everything like Job did makes me feel like I can relate to some extent. I mean, I did serve God in my youth - does that count for anything?

No. Abandoning God is abandoning God.

Maybe if I get right with him he'll make it all better. Do you think that's possible, or am I completely without hope?

You would probably want to start by capitalizing His Holy Pronouns.

Have you actually READ the book of Job?

God made a bet with Satan that Job, who was always righteous and always praised God, wouldn't stop praising God no matter what Satan did.

You abandoned God and now want Him to give you a new wife and children because you realized you screwed up by abandoning Him.

I see no parallels.

It's great that you realize that abandoning God is the source of your difficulties, really it is. That's a first step toward repentance. Do you know what it means to repent?

Getting right with God is its own reward, it's not something you do so God will give you favors . . . beyond the one favor He has offered to all, which is the opportunity to spend eternity in Heaven, praising and worshipping Him, instead of being burned alive for all time in His Lake of Fire.

[marklbrile]

Re: Returning to the fold

Yes, I've read the book of Job many years ago. I always thought it was mean of god - oops, I mean God to do what he did to Job just to satisfy his - oops, there I go again - His ego.

Anyway, I've repented many times and have turned from my wicked ways - I've asked Jesus to forgive me, but I still feel like there's something missing - it's kind of like he's never came back into my drug-trashed heart. Do you think Jesus will come back into my heart if I ask him? Maybe it's just too late, I don't know. Does Landover have special classes I can attend to help set me straight? I really think God owes me one after all the crap I've been through - I mean, I know I may have screwed up, but he didn't have to take everything away. It just doesn't seem right that a holy god - oops, I mean God would do this to me. It's like he's told Jesus not to have anything to do with me

[Levi Jones]

Re: Returning to the fold

Do you think Jesus will come back into my heart if I ask him?

Here's my Salvation in the easy steps program.

1. I want you to bow your head and pray the sinners' prayer. Something like this will do as a start.

Dear Lord in Heaven, I know that I have sinned against you and I am not worthy to lick Your sandal strap. My evil thoughts and feelings separate me from You. I beseech You to forgive this worthless sinner. Please don't strike me dead here and now. I humbly beg you to help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ who is You, died temporarily for my sins. He was raised from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayers. I beg Jesus/You to become my Savior and the Lord of my life, to imprint Your Word into my mind so I don't have to think anymore. Please send your Holy Spirit to make me obey You and to make me feel guilty when I sin. My greatest purpose in life is to follow your example even though that's impossible, as you never sinned and I am lower than a dung beetle. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

2. Set up a generous tithing agreement with a True Christian™ church. The Lord loves a cheerful giver. I can't stress this part enough.

3. You will need to be Baptized by a True Christian™ Pastor. This can all be accomplished for a nominal fee. You could get it done for free from someone you don't know is Saved® or not. In such case, your Salvation™ is not guaranteed.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Returning to the fold

Yes, I've read the book of Job many years ago. I always thought it was mean of god - oops, I mean God to do what he did to Job just to satisfy his - oops, there I go again - His ego.

Anyway, I've repented many times and have turned from my wicked ways - I've asked Jesus to forgive me, but I still feel like there's something missing - it's kind of like he's never came back into my drug-trashed heart. Do you think Jesus will come back into my heart if I ask him? Maybe it's just too late, I don't know. Does Landover have special classes I can attend to help set me straight? I really think God owes me one after all the crap I've been through - I mean, I know I may have screwed up, but he didn't have to take everything away. It just doesn't seem right that a holy god - oops, I mean God would do this to me. It's like he's told Jesus not to have anything to do with me

Why are you mocking Jesus? Do you think we believe that your backspace key doesn't work?

And who are you to question God?

[marklbrile]

Re: Returning to the fold

Here's my Salvation in the easy steps program.

1. I want you to bow your head and pray the sinners' prayer. Something like this will do as a start.

Dear Lord in Heaven, I know that I have sinned against you and I am not worthy to lick Your sandal strap. My evil thoughts and feelings separate me from You. I beseech You to forgive this worthless sinner. Please don't strike me dead here and now. I humbly beg you to help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ who is You, died temporarily for my sins. He was raised from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayers. I beg Jesus/You to become my Savior and the Lord of my life, to imprint Your Word into my mind so I don't have to think anymore. Please send your Holy Spirit to make me obey You and to make me feel guilty when I sin. My greatest purpose in life is to follow your example even though that's impossible, as you never sinned and I am lower than a dung beetle. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

2. Set up a generous tithing agreement with a True Christian™ church. The Lord loves a cheerful giver. I can't stress this part enough.

3. You will need to be Baptized by a True Christian™ Pastor. This can all be accomplished for a nominal fee. You could get it done for free from someone you don't know is Saved® or not. In such case, your Salvation™ is not guaranteed.

So how am I supposed to do this and make sure this little incantation of yours really sticks? Can I read in on the screen and pray, or do I need to memorize it so my eyes are closed the whole time in reverence? How much does a baptism cost, because I've lost my job and I have little money - I thought Jesus was free?!? Why would I have to do this anyway - I've never read this recipe for eternal bliss anywhere in the bible - has this been added by the pope recently???

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Returning to the fold

So how am I supposed to do this and make sure this little incantation of yours really sticks? Can I read in on the screen and pray, or do I need to memorize it so my eyes are closed the whole time in reverence? How much does a baptism cost, because I've lost my job and I have little money - I thought Jesus was free?!? Why would I have to do this anyway - I've never read this recipe for eternal bliss anywhere in the bible - has this been added by the pope recently???

Perhaps you should try reading the Bible, and stop worrying about what the God-mocking Pope wants.