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  • JeebusChrist
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Jan 2011
    • 2

    #1

    I'm Back!

    Hey guys. I'm back!

    It's been a long time. I've been taking an extended vacation and I just wanna say it's good to be in the limelight again. I've just been around California, you know? Surfing, checking out babes, the usual stuff. I even have some followers and they love me to bits!

    The times have changed and I no longer have to worry about being nailed to objects. I have a new found love for hairdressing and showering, and I've updated my look quite a bit. Of course, I've kept the beard and the hair and all.

    Anyways, just thought I'd give you guys a quick update and let you know I have risen from the dead. Good to see you folks again, you'll be hearing a lot more from me in the next year or so.

    Your Lord and Savior,

    Jesus Christ

    P.S. - I've found that television is AWESOME.

    xoxo
  • SayvedByTheLord
    Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
    True Christian™
    • May 2007
    • 3151

    #2
    Re: I'm Back!

    Farewell
    Originally posted by JeebusChrist View Post
    Hey guys. I'm back!

    It's been a long time. I've been taking an extended vacation and I just wanna say it's good to be in the limelight again. I've just been around California, you know? Surfing, checking out babes, the usual stuff. I even have some followers and they love me to bits!

    The times have changed and I no longer have to worry about being nailed to objects. I have a new found love for hairdressing and showering, and I've updated my look quite a bit. Of course, I've kept the beard and the hair and all.

    Anyways, just thought I'd give you guys a quick update and let you know I have risen from the dead. Good to see you folks again, you'll be hearing a lot more from me in the next year or so.

    Your Lord and Savior,

    Jesus Christ

    P.S. - I've found that television is AWESOME.

    xoxo


    Leviticus 26:27-29

    27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
    28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
    29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

    Comment

    • JeebusChrist
      Confirmed Enemy of God
      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
      • Jan 2011
      • 2

      #3
      Re: I'm Back!

      Hey man, it's all love. Don't ban Jesus!

      Comment

      • Brother Temperance
        Senior Usher
        True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
        A very nice young man
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 15621

        #4
        Re: I'm Back!

        What are you talking about? We haven't banned Jesus.
        O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



        God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

        Comment

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