Hello there from Mr Godwin

[Mr Godwin]

Dear Landover,

Hello there, all you True Christian™ Baptists of Landover. What a pleasure. It's shocking to see my own name on these boards. I think I know the drill here well enough, since I happen to be Sister Noddy's son-in-law, and she is on here every day participating in the Christian fellowship of these forums. She's been (shall we say) indisposed for the past few days. It's shocking really. Well, well, well, I see that I'm classifed as Unsaved Trash, which is completely ridiculous as I've been a real Christian Baptist all my life. I'm shocked, that's what. You understand of course. I am the Headmaster of Christian Baptist Grammar School, Taylor Street, Nob Hill, San Francisco, California. My students are all Christians, and come from Baptist families. They are all Republicans. None of that liberal ungodly Democrat nonsense, not my students. My wife is dead. I provide for my wife's widowed mother, Noddy. Weird little creature she is. Odd really. She should count herself lucky, she would have nowhere else to go if it weren't for me. You understand of course. I have GODLY twin sons who are nine years old. They attend my school. Of course. We are all followers of the KJV1611 Bible, and have a family Bible study every night at home after dinner. No ifs, ands, or buts. No excuses. You understand of course. This is all I have to say to start off. Be sure that I will be looking forward to getting to know all you fine Baptist Christian folks. Hello there, what a pleasure, and standing by.

Sincerely,

Mr Godwin

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Hello there from Mr Godwin

Welcome, Brother. I'm surprised to learn that there are enough Baptist or Republican families in San Francisco to fill a school with children.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello there from Mr Godwin

Welcome Brother Godwin. Sister Noddy has told us quite a bit about you and the twins. You sound like our kind of man.

So, which Republican do you like in the upcoming election?

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Hello there from Mr Godwin

Really Mr Godwin, I can't believe you've gone and done it! You'll see what fine True Christians™ they are! You'll approve, I know you will!

[Mr Godwin]

Re: Hello there from Mr Godwin

What a pleasure! Thank you for your responses and welcomes, Pastors. To be sure. And I see I've been bestowed the honor of real membership since I last signed in. What a pleasure.

To answer your questions. Yours first, Pastor Billy-Reuben. We have the good fortune to live on Nob Hill in San Francisco. An affluent neighborhood. To be sure. Down the hill several blocks stands the towering hulk known as Grace Cathedral. That is the seat of the false-church Episcopal Diocese of California. One look at that marvel of neo-Gothic architecture is enough to take one's breath away. But for what?

There is no living Jesus breathing, locked in heathen stone.

Those folks are on their way to eternal damnation. To be sure. Episcopalians swarm the neighborhood, patronize the restaurants and coffee houses. It's shocking to see a sissy homer dressed in clerical clothes and a white collar, and walking innocently down the street, acting as if he knows the will of God. Everybody knows he is gay. What's the world coming to? It's shocking, that's what.

But several blocks up the hill, we are comfortably surrounded by our modest Baptist community. My school is a small neat mission-style stucco building. Within its classrooms my students learn the Word of GOD.

And now, Pastor Ezekiel, you were wanting to know the Republican of of my choice. Why I rather had my sights set on Mike Huckabee. For example, I'm impressed with what he has said here. We have too many homosexuals in the neighborhood. It's those Episcopalians. You understand, of course.

Hush Noddy, you're not going to embarass me here now, are you?

Sincerely,

Brother Godwin