Orcish BladeMaster for Christ

[Feniroc]

Praise JESUS!!!

Feniroc BloodSaved here. Level 32 warrior of the Warsong Clan!!! I was playing World of Warcraft like any other lonely attention craving youth, delving into a life of virtual demonhood, magic, and other paganistic dogma, when I had the chance encounter with a level 70 human paladin who held firmly to the Holy Light. Being a former Catholic I didn't care anything about God or the Bible. I just said to myself, "I can do whatever the heck I want and God will forgive me". Like all other catholics I never bothered to read the Bible. But this paladin I meet was a True Christian and the Holy Light to which he preached was the light of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. He showed me how praying the Mary, believing in saints, and decorating christmas trees was evil and totally against the Holy Bible. I was stumped. The more I denied his message the more he showed me up with the Word of God. Resist as I might the Good Book's true message could not be denied. Now, like that brave true christian soul who braved the virtual sinfest which is World of Warcraft I too fight valiantly to bring heathen Horde trolls, undead, tauren, blood elves, and fellow orcs to the TRUTH. Whenever there are Alliance players who refuse to except Jesus into their lives I slay them where they stand and then I stand by their graves and kill them over and over again as they attempt to revive their character to simulate 0.000000~000001% of the frustration they'll experience in the torments of Hell. I shout the praises of our lord all across the server and when somebody gets an attitude I banish them from the land by reporting them for religious intolerance. I chastise any magic using class for practicing virtual witchcraft, except of course True Christian aspirant Paladins and Holy Priest(although we call converts "Holy Pastors"), who draw their power from Jesus!!! That paladin is a member of this very church and it was he who lead me here. Rex, you there?

My only desire is to get right with Jesus and I know that the True Christian family of Landover Baptist are my only hope in truly comprehending the Lord's Word. Help me to become the True Christian I know I can be. I will slay countless hordes of demons, goblins, fel orcs, etc. in the name of Jesus!!! Being a WoW player I had no life, but thanks to Jesus I have found the path to eternal life. PRAISE JESUS FOR ALL HE'S DONE FOR ME.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Orcish BladeMaster for Christ

Praise JESUS!!!
My only desire is to get right with Jesus and I know that the True Christian family of Landover Baptist are my only hope in truly comprehending the Lord's Word. Help me to become the True Christian I know I can be. I will slay countless hordes of demons, goblins, fel orcs, etc. in the name of Jesus!!! Being a WoW player I had no life, but thanks to Jesus I have found the path to eternal life. PRAISE JESUS FOR ALL HE'S DONE FOR ME.

Welcome friend. Jesus has called you here for a reason, and I hope you will find it. Please read through the many threads on our Godly forum, and learn about our Divine Mission.

Please tell us a bit more about yourself. What church do you attend? Which Bible version do you use? Favorite verses? Age? Do you have a wife and children yet? What do you do to fill your time now that you no longer waste your days pursuing satanic video games?

And don't forget to hit that Paypal button at the bottom of this page. Show Jesus how sorry you are for being a heathen.

[Feniroc]

Re: Orcish BladeMaster for Christ

Welcome friend. Jesus has called you here for a reason, and I hope you will find it. Please read through the many threads on our Godly forum, and learn about our Divine Mission.

Please tell us a bit more about yourself. What church do you attend? Which Bible version do you use? Favorite verses? Age? Do you have a wife and children yet? What do you do to fill your time now that you no longer waste your days pursuing satanic video games?

And don't forget to hit that Paypal button at the bottom of this page. Show Jesus how sorry you are for being a heathen.

I presently do not attend any church, sir. As I mentioned before I was a lackluster catholic with equally lackluster parents so we were merely a Christmas, Easter, Lent, etc. services variety, which is fairly common among catholics. I had never really even read the Holy Bible until the noble Paladin Rex saved me from a life of present day ignorance and sin; and a future of obesity, pimples, and 40 year old virginity. I consider myself lucky because otherwise I could have ended up being one of the millions of catholic alter boys one hears about in the news every day. I aspire to one day worship in the great halls of Landover Baptist Church. Do you know of any other True Christian churches outside of Freehold that I might attend?

Sadly, I am a novice in the ways of our Lord and Saviour. However, one verse that does presently stand out considering the time of year is Jeremiah 10:2-4.

"Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not."

I've been traveling the world of Azeroth spreading the news to all the false christians on my server about how idolatrous the christmas trees is and how all who continue to practice such traditions are destined for a fire hotter than the elemental lord Ragnaros.

Having been an avid player of WoW I am, of course, a virgin. Unless you consider a shameful past of masturbating to the dancing animations of night elf females to be equivalent to sex. I have no wife nor children. I just turned 18 not too long ago.

I fill my time reading the KJV 1611 Bible just like Rex instructed when I'm not crusading the virtual lands of Azeroth to win hearts and minds for Jesus.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Orcish BladeMaster for Christ

I presently do not attend any church, sir. As I mentioned before I was a lackluster catholic with equally lackluster parents so we were merely a Christmas, Easter, Lent, etc. services variety, which is fairly common among catholics. I had never really even read the Holy Bible until the noble Paladin Rex saved me from a life of present day ignorance and sin; and a future of obesity, pimples, and 40 year old virginity. I consider myself lucky because otherwise I could have ended up being one of the millions of catholic alter boys one hears about in the news every day. I aspire to one day worship in the great halls of Landover Baptist Church. Do you know of any other True Christian churches outside of Freehold that I might attend?

Sadly, I am a novice in the ways of our Lord and Saviour. However, one verse that does presently stand out considering the time of year is Jeremiah 10:2-4.

"Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not."

I've been traveling the world of Azeroth spreading the news to all the false christians on my server about how idolatrous the christmas trees is and how all who continue to practice such traditions are destined for a fire hotter than the elemental lord Ragnaros.

Having been an avid player of WoW I am, of course, a virgin. Unless you consider a shameful past of masturbating to the dancing animations of night elf females to be equivalent to sex. I have no wife nor children. I just turned 18 not too long ago.

I fill my time reading the KJV 1611 Bible just like Rex instructed when I'm not crusading the virtual lands of Azeroth to win hearts and minds for Jesus.

Son, you sound like one seriously lost boy. How many times were you buggered by your family priest? The very thought disgusts me and makes Jesus weep.

Instead of wading through these fantasy worlds of sodomites and onanistas, you'd be better off reading, studying and memorizing the Holy Word of God. Until and unless you are Saved©, you are not capable of leading others onto the path of Salvation.

You can get a KJV1611 Bible from any local Bible shop, from your local Independant Baptist Church, or even online at www.biblegateway.com (make sure that you specify KJV1611 Authorized Version there, as they offer over 50 versions). Also, Brother V has started a "Bible in a Year" thread HERE, that I highly recommend. His commentary is an excellent aide to baby Christians such as yourself. Without guidance, you will remain a wad of unsaved scum for your entire life.

Also there is the issue of Tithing. Jesus commands it in the Holy Bible, and for that reason we have thoughtfully provided a Paypal button at the bottom of your screen. Click on it now so you don't forget.

Lev 27:32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, [even] of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.

Num 18:26 Thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, [even] a tenth [part] of the tithe.

Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

[Feniroc]

Re: Orcish BladeMaster for Christ

Son, you sound like one seriously lost boy. How many times were you buggered by your family priest? The very thought disgusts me and makes Jesus weep.

Instead of wading through these fantasy worlds of sodomites and onanistas, you'd be better off reading, studying and memorizing the Holy Word of God. Until and unless you are Saved©, you are not capable of leading others onto the path of Salvation.

You can get a KJV1611 Bible from any local Bible shop, from your local Independant Baptist Church, or even online at www.biblegateway.com (make sure that you specify KJV1611 Authorized Version there, as they offer over 50 versions). Also, Brother V has started a "Bible in a Year" thread HERE, that I highly recommend. His commentary is an excellent aide to baby Christians such as yourself. Without guidance, you will remain a wad of unsaved scum for your entire life.

Also there is the issue of Tithing. Jesus commands it in the Holy Bible, and for that reason we have thoughtfully provided a Paypal button at the bottom of your screen. Click on it now so you don't forget.

Lev 27:32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, [even] of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.

Num 18:26 Thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, [even] a tenth [part] of the tithe.

Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

I have already bought a KJV 1611 Bible and I have begun reading it. I'm just so eager to save others from witchcraft and demons that perhaps I disillusioned myself into thinking it was possible. Perhaps I am not a mighty orc warrior for Christ afterall, but merely a orcish peon fit for nothing more than manual labour. Thanks for bringing back to earth. I need to go pray now.

Yes, the Lord must have His fair share. A tithe of US$129.99 has been made. Bless you, pastor.