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  • BearOfElisha
    Unsaved trash, Suspected queerboy
    • Feb 2011
    • 4
    #1

    I'm not a Sodomite.

    As an officer of His Law™...I often hang around in gay bars to preach His Word™. My specialty is taking Sodomites back to my church to teach them how to pray. It's best if you prostrate yourself before the Lord and demonstrate your subservience to Him.

    Of course accidents happen. His rod and staff are comforting after all. When you lie down with green pastors you sometimes wake up with sheep staring at you.

    I'm proud to represent True Christianity™ and preach His Word™.

    Glad to meat all of you.
    Lev.18:22
    Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
    Tags: None
    • GOD=life
      WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
      True Christian™
      • Jan 2010
      • 3263
      #2
      Re: I'm not a Sodomite.

      Uhm, welcome?

      It seems you have some good intentions, but it would appear that it's not a good idea to come online to post right after visiting one of those bars...
      I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

      Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
      Matthew 7:22       Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
      Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

      Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556
          #3
          Re: I'm not a Sodomite.

          Originally posted by BearOfElisha View Post
          Glad to meat all of you.
          Hey, queerboy; clear out. You aren't fooling anyone. We don't want to "meat" you.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • BearOfElisha
              Unsaved trash, Suspected queerboy
              • Feb 2011
              • 4
              #4
              Re: I'm not a Sodomite.

              I am shocked. It clarely says that I am NOT a sodomite.
              Our greatest and most holey president George W. Bush would oft mispell things. I think we should look to him as an example.

              But like 2 Kings 2:23-25 where Elisha was persecuted for being bald. I suggest that YOU look out for the vicious She Bears that protect the riteous from persecution.

              They were SHE-BEARS becasuse the Bible says so and that is what makes it normal. SHe bears typically prey on young men. Which is the way that God intends it.

              2 Kings 2:23-25 (King James Version)



              23And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. 24And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
              Lev.18:22
              Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

                Comment

                • GOD=life
                  WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
                  True Christian™
                  • Jan 2010
                  • 3263
                  #5
                  Re: I'm not a Sodomite.

                  Originally posted by BearOfElisha View Post
                  I am shocked. It clarely says that I am NOT a sodomite.
                  The lady doth protest too much, methinks
                  I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

                  Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
                  Matthew 7:22                   Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
                  Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

                  Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

                    Comment

                    • WinnerNotSinner
                      Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
                      True Christian™
                      • Jun 2010
                      • 951
                      #6
                      Re: I'm not a Sodomite.

                      I'm getting a really gay vibe from this one.
                      6
                      A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
                      "But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

                      Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
                      If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

                      GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.

                        Comment

                        • BearOfElisha
                          Unsaved trash, Suspected queerboy
                          • Feb 2011
                          • 4
                          #7
                          Re: I'm not a Sodomite.

                          And you guys probably believe that Larry Craig is a sodomite as well...
                          Lev.18:22
                          Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

                            Comment

                            • Master Gordon
                              Forum Member
                              Forum Member
                              • Jun 2010
                              • 376
                              #8
                              Re: I'm not a Sodomite.

                              Originally posted by BearOfElisha View Post
                              And you guys probably believe that Larry Craig is a sodomite as well...
                              Yes I know what God thinks of sodomites and you sound very much like a sodomite trying to hide you filthy homosexual... I think the homer alert should be activated...

                              Leviticus

                              18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it [is] abomination.

                              20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them.
                              sigpic
                              Remember this one thing brothers and sisters: KJV Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit,
                              so a fool returneth to his folly

                                Comment

                                • Zechariah Smyth
                                  Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Feb 2011
                                  • 15251
                                  #9
                                  Re: I'm not a Sodomite.

                                  Originally posted by BearOfElisha View Post
                                  I often hang around in gay bars
                                  sigpic

                                    Comment

                                    • loveforchrist
                                      Forum Member
                                      Forum Member
                                      • Jan 2011
                                      • 138
                                      #10
                                      Re: I'm not a Sodomite.

                                      Guys, my gaydar is going off. This one's a butt-pirate.
                                      My guide to beating children!
                                      New to converting sinners? Read this!
                                      ATTENTION SINNERS! Read this before it's too late!

                                        Comment

                                        • Brother Scott
                                          True Christian™
                                          True Christian™
                                          • Oct 2010
                                          • 393
                                          #11
                                          Re: I'm not a Sodomite.

                                          I'm going to have to go out on a limb here and say that just by you being so adamant about not having this sick Godless perversion, that you actually are a deviant who is attracted to same sex disease spreading.


                                          Although it is not for me to judge you, I can tell you that Jesus™ has a special place in Hell for you and all your sodomy fantasies will be coming true. Except this time it will involve Satan and a pitchfork.


                                          I'm sure your parents are ashamed.
                                          [Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


                                          PALIN/BACHMAN 2016

                                          With their husbands permission of course

                                            Comment

                                            • Rebuko the Clown
                                              The Friendliest Clown in Town™
                                              Proud recovering ex-alcoholic, ex-addict, and ex-convict
                                              True Christian™
                                              • Jun 2010
                                              • 197
                                              #12
                                              Re: I'm not a Sodomite.

                                              Im pretty sure this dude's name is refering to one of THESE kind of bears...



                                              YES! I AM A CLOWN FOR CHRIST! Owner/Operator of Lord's Derisive Laughter Christian Clown Ministry.
                                              Read my inspiring testimonial of how I came to Christ!
                                              Rebuko's Sleepover Castle - Let your kids spend the night at my place for a One-Night Jesus Camp experience!

                                                Comment

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