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  • #1

    I would like to join you.

    Hi, my name is Josh. I want to join you and become a True Christian. I want to be saved. Let me just tell you a little about me so you know where I'm coming from.

    All my life I've lived in sin. My family only went to church on Christmas and Easter but never any other time. My parents claimed to love Jesus but they haven't even opened the Holy Bible in years. They claimed to love Jesus and said that they were going to heaven. They said that I was too and I was foolish enough to believe them.

    I'm currently a junior in Norwich University and this has been my first time away from my parents for an extended period of time. It was here that I actually learned about the truth. There was a man on campus handing out one of those Chick Publication Tracts, this one to be exact:

    Chick.com: Happy Halloween
    http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0032/0032_01.asp
    It was supposed to be a fun Halloween, visiting a


    After reading it I admit was a bit skeptical but I did a bit of research on it and I came across the Landover Baptist site. I looked here for a while, trying to find out a bit more about you when I realized something, I've been living a lie. All of this time I have only been taught the censored, happy Bible. You follow it exactly so you must be the only people who will make it into Heaven! I don't want to burn for eternity, I want to go to Heaven with Jesus!

    This is why I'm joining you. Please, help me save myself! What do I have to do to become a True Christian?
    Jesus died to save you from the Eternal Fires of Hell.
    What have you done with your life?
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: I would like to join you.

    Originally posted by Free At Last View Post
    Hi, my name is Josh. I want to join you and become a True Christian. I want to be saved. Let me just tell you a little about me so you know where I'm coming from.

    All my life I've lived in sin. My family only went to church on Christmas and Easter but never any other time. My parents claimed to love Jesus but they haven't even opened the Holy Bible in years. They claimed to love Jesus and said that they were going to heaven. They said that I was too and I was foolish enough to believe them.

    I'm currently a junior in Norwich University and this has been my first time away from my parents for an extended period of time. It was here that I actually learned about the truth. There was a man on campus handing out one of those Chick Publication Tracts, this one to be exact:

    Chick.com: Happy Halloween
    http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0032/0032_01.asp
    It was supposed to be a fun Halloween, visiting a


    After reading it I admit was a bit skeptical but I did a bit of research on it and I came across the Landover Baptist site. I looked here for a while, trying to find out a bit more about you when I realized something, I've been living a lie. All of this time I have only been taught the censored, happy Bible. You follow it exactly so you must be the only people who will make it into Heaven! I don't want to burn for eternity, I want to go to Heaven with Jesus!

    This is why I'm joining you. Please, help me save myself! What do I have to do to become a True Christian?
    Welcome Friend.
    Which Bible do you read and what's your most favorite Verse?

    Sister Talitha

    Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


    HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
    being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


    Comment

    • #3
      Re: I would like to join you.

      Praise Jesus and welcome. I hope you will continue down the righteous path you seem to be treading. Jesus has called you here for a reason, and you are going to be happy beyond your wildest dreams if you choose to follow Him.

      Study the Bible, read these threads, and Tithe as God commands. That's what the Paypal button is for.

      Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

      I'll be praying for you, friend.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: I would like to join you.

        The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all who cause others to sin and all evildoers. They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.
        (Matthew 13:41-42)

        This quote is my favorite because it is what has led me here. I am a sinner, we all are, and unless I learn to repent and become a True Christian I will burn in Eternal Hellfire too. I want to go to Heaven like you. I want to spend eternity with Jesus.

        I can't wait to get started here, there is so much to learn and so much to do!
        Jesus died to save you from the Eternal Fires of Hell.
        What have you done with your life?

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: I would like to join you.

          Originally posted by Free At Last View Post
          The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all who cause others to sin and all evildoers. They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.
          (Matthew 13:41-42)

          I can't wait to get started here, there is so much to learn and so much to do!
          ...well, as far as I can tell that is not the King James version of the Bible... what kind of impostor are you? Why are you trying to fool us, it seems like some sort of cat-a-lick crap. Sine you are a cat-a-lick, I suspect you have some other sins, such as being an alter boy and the sodomy that goes along with it. So, we have a cat-a-lick homer here trying to join us.

          The first thing you need to do is to buy a King James version of the Bible, the second thing to do, even if you have already done it, is to hit the PayPal link at the bottom of the page. Hit the button once for every time you Prayed" on your knees with your cat-a-lick priest.
          - - - - - - - - - - -
          Its not fascism if True Christians™ do it
          - - - - - - - - - -

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: I would like to join you.

            Originally posted by MacDaddy View Post
            ...well, as far as I can tell that is not the King James version of the Bible... what kind of impostor are you? Why are you trying to fool us, it seems like some sort of cat-a-lick crap. Sine you are a cat-a-lick, I suspect you have some other sins, such as being an alter boy and the sodomy that goes along with it. So, we have a cat-a-lick homer here trying to join us.

            The first thing you need to do is to buy a King James version of the Bible, the second thing to do, even if you have already done it, is to hit the PayPal link at the bottom of the page. Hit the button once for every time you Prayed" on your knees with your cat-a-lick priest.
            I admit, I don't know the Holy Bible as well as you people do, all I klnow is that what I have been taught as a child was not the true Bible that you all read. To be honest I couldn't tell a King James Bible from any other Bible.

            But that is why I've come here, I want to learn from you. I want to know the True Bible that will save me from the flames of Hell.
            Jesus died to save you from the Eternal Fires of Hell.
            What have you done with your life?

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: I would like to join you.

              "I would like to join you"

              Big Boy, are you trying to make "a pass" at me?

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: I would like to join you.

                Originally posted by SUV View Post
                "I would like to join you"

                Big Boy, are you trying to make "a pass" at me?
                If "pass" means "join your journey towards Heaven" then yes.
                Jesus died to save you from the Eternal Fires of Hell.
                What have you done with your life?

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: I would like to join you.

                  Originally posted by Free At Last View Post
                  I admit, I don't know the Holy Bible as well as you people do, all I klnow is that what I have been taught as a child was not the true Bible that you all read. To be honest I couldn't tell a King James Bible from any other Bible.

                  But that is why I've come here, I want to learn from you. I want to know the True Bible that will save me from the flames of Hell.
                  Friend, there are many heathens who infest these boards. Unsaved scum who enter our Christian forum with the express purpose of mocking Jesus and persecuting us. You do not need to pay any attention to their devilish criticisms or compliments.

                  Have you started reading Brother V's "Bible in a Year" thread? That will start you along the path of righteousness, and how!
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: I would like to join you.

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    Have you started reading Brother V's "Bible in a Year" thread? That will start you along the path of righteousness, and how!
                    Bible in a year? What a good idea! I was a bit intimidated by the Bible at first, it looked so long and confusing. Breaking it down and reading a little a day followed by a discussion is a great way to understand the Bible the way that you do. Before you know it I'm going to be a True Christian™ too! Praise Jesus!
                    Jesus died to save you from the Eternal Fires of Hell.
                    What have you done with your life?

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: I would like to join you.

                      Originally posted by Free At Last View Post
                      Bible in a year? What a good idea! I was a bit intimidated by the Bible at first, it looked so long and confusing. Breaking it down and reading a little a day followed by a discussion is a great way to understand the Bible the way that you do. Before you know it I'm going to be a True Christian™ too! Praise Jesus!
                      I commend you on your enthusiasim! I hope for the best for you.
                      "In the end, as I stand in the sight of God and all his glory, I will be the man with the sword ready to defend the gate."

                      Soultis

                      Comment

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