[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Flaggot here.

Flaggot, just stop whining and quit being a homo. Then, when you're ready to "man up", get your butt out to the LBC CRUSH facility for you treatment. Seriously, we can't hold your hand all the way through this stuff, it's up to you to come to Jesus.

Now quit the lollygagging and the fence-sitting and just do it already!

Capt. Portway, I feel that our offers of help are falling on deaf ears. Flaggot has already shown that he feels he can disrespect True Christians™, denigrate fellow Unsaved Trash, and spout his overly-descriptive "sodomyths", even after being warned and infracted multiple times.

He has accused people of paying for reputation, he has described your name as jailhouse slang for a necrophiliac act, and he seems to have mackerel-snapper leanings.

His claims of prison and meth and whoring etc. etc, ring hollow to me, and he has shown zero remorse for all of these things.

Until he shows a little more promise and a little less fabrication, I'm done with him.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Flaggot here.

A meat packing plant? Will I be beaten?

Flaggot, just stop whining and quit being a homo. Then, when you're ready to "man up", get your butt out to the LBC CRUSH facility for you treatment. Seriously, we can't hold your hand all the way through this stuff, it's up to you to come to Jesus.

Now quit the lollygagging and the fence-sitting and just do it already!

[J.Gygax]

Re: Flaggot here.

humble words


morning

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Flaggot here.

"Bribe for your rep?"

What are you accusing me of, friend?

Did I ever claim to have attained the rank of True Christian™? No, I most certainly did not.

Are you suggesting that only a person who has already earned the status of True Christian™ can recognize the wisdom of following a True Christian™'s advice?

Friend, that would be like saying that if your house is burning down, you shouldn't call the fire department unless you yourself are a fireman!

[Flaggit]

Re: Flaggot here.

Friend, you may have gotten into your head some New Age nincompoop notion that it's always wonderful and therapeutic to just unburden yourself at all times, spewing every little pornographic detail of every sinful thought and deed you've ever indulged in.

Well that may be just dandy if you're in an EST training or Dianetics or some such, but the only self-help group I belong to is The Body of Christ, and its training manual has a very different take on the concept:




Are you an ox, boy? Well then by all means, feel free to remain un-muzzled and take all the time you want to wallow around in your own feces and talk about your disgusting personal history and criminal sex fantasies.

But if you aspire to be something more than a barnyard animal, I suggest you zip it and listen to some good preaching by some True Christian™ clergy!!!!

It doesn't say "True Chistian" under your SN... And you had to bribe for your rep... Soooooo...

And stay on topic. It seems like your just finding an excuse to type naughty words. Juvenile...

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Flaggot here.

Friend, you may have gotten into your head some New Age nincompoop notion that it's always wonderful and therapeutic to just unburden yourself at all times, spewing every little pornographic detail of every sinful thought and deed you've ever indulged in.

Well that may be just dandy if you're in an EST training or Dianetics or some such, but the only self-help group I belong to is The Body of Christ, and its training manual has a very different take on the concept:

1 Corinthians 9:9

For it is written in the law of Moses, Thou shalt not muzzle the mouth of the ox that treadeth out the corn. Doth God take care for oxen?

Are you an ox, boy? Well then by all means, feel free to remain un-muzzled and take all the time you want to wallow around in your own feces and talk about your disgusting personal history and criminal sex fantasies.

But if you aspire to be something more than a barnyard animal, I suggest you zip it and listen to some good preaching by some True Christian™ clergy!!!!

[Flaggit]

Re: Flaggot here.

A confession? I'm sorry, but was there a sign hanging over this forum that said "Catholic Church" that I didn't happen to notice?

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that the word "confession" was the sole property of the Catholic church.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Flaggot here.

A confession? I'm sorry, but was there a sign hanging over this forum that said "Catholic Church" that I didn't happen to notice?

[Flaggit]

Re: Flaggot here.

The facility used to be a combination meat packing and rendering plant. The property was very reasonably priced and all of the buildings were structurally sound and the grounds are extensive. We refurbished the rendering plant at great expense, and we now produce dog food and fertilizer for three major national brands!

It was the meat packing facility as well as the kill floor that was converted into the LBC Center for Removal of Unwanted Sexual Habits. The renovations were extensive and state of the art, let me assure you.

We specialize in curing sodomites of course, but we accept all kinds of sexual deviants at the Landover Baptist CRUSH facility. We have had great success with Pornography Addiction, Lesbianism, Necrophilia, Nymphomania, and Female Hysteria. Reverend Jim Osborne heads up a new program that deals with the scourge of Transgenderism. Although the program is new, we currently have over fifty Thai ladyboys in our care.

As to your treatment, I will just tell you that nothing is "off the table" as they say. Our therapists will not stop until the love of the Lord is burning inside you like a white hot poker! To drive out the demons of Sodomania that infest you, you may endure quite a bit of emotional and physical discomfort. But do you not agree that eternity in heaven with Jesus is worth it?

I'm actually quite nervous here, Prof. The horror stories I've heard were INSANE. People getting their penis sucked till it bleed by a baby goat, guys being hung upside down with a dildo in their mouth and rectum as someone swats their scrotum like they are trying to kill a fly... Being bound and slapped in the face with dildos while someone waterboards you with sperm... I really am afraid here. I want to be saved but is there any other way?

I also need help with my anger. Certain people are really getting on my nerves on this board. I know its me, but those people bring back horrid memories and I associate them with the memories. Horrid things... I need help but a confession might offend people here.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Flaggot here.

A meat packing plant? Will I be beaten?

The facility used to be a combination meat packing and rendering plant. The property was very reasonably priced and all of the buildings were structurally sound and the grounds are extensive. We refurbished the rendering plant at great expense, and we now produce dog food and fertilizer for three major national brands!

It was the meat packing facility as well as the kill floor that was converted into the LBC Center for Removal of Unwanted Sexual Habits. The renovations were extensive and state of the art, let me assure you.

We specialize in curing sodomites of course, but we accept all kinds of sexual deviants at the Landover Baptist CRUSH facility. We have had great success with Pornography Addiction, Lesbianism, Necrophilia, Nymphomania, and Female Hysteria. Reverend Jim Osborne heads up a new program that deals with the scourge of Transgenderism. Although the program is new, we currently have over fifty Thai ladyboys in our care.

As to your treatment, I will just tell you that nothing is "off the table" as they say. Our therapists will not stop until the love of the Lord is burning inside you like a white hot poker! To drive out the demons of Sodomania that infest you, you may endure quite a bit of emotional and physical discomfort. But do you not agree that eternity in heaven with Jesus is worth it?

[Flaggit]

Re: Flaggot here.

I am sorry Dixon, the internets do not allow the sort of hands on, one on one physical contact necessary for our therapists to pound the Lord into our sodomite patients.

As for moving to Freehold, that is not technically required. Also, the compound where the program is currently housed is outside of town quite a distance. With generous donations from church members, we purchased an old meat packing and rendering plant in a more rural part of the county. When we first started the program here on campus, the students and faculty found the sounds and odors too distracting.

The program operates on what we call a semi voluntary in patient system, so no other lodging is required. Also, clients are very strongly encouraged, for their own safety of course, to not leave the program until a trained Ex-Gay© counselor gives them a clean bill of spiritual health. I am sure you understand.

A meat packing plant? Will I be beaten?

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Flaggot here.

I'm not wealthy but I have some money saved. You do not offer an online program? Would I have to move to Freehold?

I am sorry Dixon, the internets do not allow the sort of hands on, one on one physical contact necessary for our therapists to pound the Lord into our sodomite patients.

As for moving to Freehold, that is not technically required. Also, the compound where the program is currently housed is outside of town quite a distance. With generous donations from church members, we purchased an old meat packing and rendering plant in a more rural part of the county. When we first started the program here on campus, the students and faculty found the sounds and odors too distracting.

The program operates on what we call a semi voluntary in patient system, so no other lodging is required. Also, clients are very strongly encouraged, for their own safety of course, to not leave the program until a trained Ex-Gay© counselor gives them a clean bill of spiritual health. I am sure you understand.

[Flaggit]

Re: Flaggot here.

Dixon, I see you are still struggling with your homosexual demons. But fret not, for there is a place for any and all manner of disgusting pervert here at Landover. The Lord has tasked us with curing you Dixon, but it will not be easy.

The Ex-Gay© program at Landover Baptist University is based on cutting edge Scienthiestic techniques as well as tried and true physical aversion therapies developed by the CIA and certain early Christian inquisitors. We believe in the Sterile & Stern (or SS) approach to curing queers of the disease with which they have chosen to infect themselves.

Tell me Dixon, what is you financial situation? The therapies we offer here at LBU are not inexpensive. However, if you are unable to afford the cost, we do have a program where debtors may work off what they owe. The church has implemented a program that we call the Special Laborers And Values Education System for those that find themselves owing Landover money with no other means with which to pay it off.

I'm not wealthy but I have some money saved. You do not offer an online program? Would I have to move to Freehold?

Flaggot, If you need someone to talk to or perhaps hold you while you talk about your homosexual past. You know where to find me. You're always welcome here friend.

No, no... That just seems homo. No offense but the last thing I need is to hold or to be held by another man.

[wait_what]

Re: Flaggot here.

Dixon, I see you are still struggling with your homosexual demons. But fret not, for there is a place for any and all manner of disgusting pervert here at Landover. The Lord has tasked us with curing you Dixon, but it will not be easy.

The Ex-Gay© program at Landover Baptist University is based on cutting edge Scienthiestic techniques as well as tried and true physical aversion therapies developed by the CIA and certain early Christian inquisitors. We believe in the Sterile & Stern (or SS) approach to curing queers of the disease with which they have chosen to infect themselves.

Tell me Dixon, what is you financial situation? The therapies we offer here at LBU are not inexpensive. However, if you are unable to afford the cost, we do have a program where debtors may work off what they owe. The church has implemented a program that we call the Special Laborers And Values Education System for those that find themselves owing Landover money with no other means with which to pay it off.

Special
Laborers
And
Values
Education
System

This is one of the most divine systems in place for those who are of humble means. At most it will take you 7 years to pay off the debt, and you will be saved! What more could you ask for?

[Drunken_christian]

Re: Flaggot here.

Flaggot, If you need someone to talk to or perhaps hold you while you talk about your homosexual past. You know where to find me. You're always welcome here friend.