Greetings

[Rev. Q]

Just wanted to introduce myself. I hail from a lineage of Lutheran ministers going back 5 generations. I recently stumbled across these forums through the link of a friend on Facebook. I know I'm already saved, but I'm looking forward to getting super-extra-saved with your moral guidance.

In Him (not in a gay way),

Rev. Jason Q

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Greetings

Just wanted to introduce myself. I hail from a lineage of Lutheran ministers going back 5 generations. I recently stumbled across these forums through the link of a friend on Facebook. I know I'm already saved, but I'm looking forward to getting super-extra-saved with your moral guidance.

In Him (not in a gay way),

Rev. Jason Q

How about a proper introduction, "Rev." ?

Where were you ordained, for instance?

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Rev. Q]

Re: Greetings

How about a proper introduction, "Rev." ?

Where were you ordained, for instance?

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

Sorry, I had to keep it short as my toddler woke up in the other room crying, and I suspected the demon Baalberith was once again attempting to shake my faith by causing me to get impatient and curse the ALMIGHTY GOD. Just gas this time, I pray.

I was ordained in the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod, but was promptly stripped of my ministerial credentials after delivering a powerful sermon condemning gays and muslims (I will not write that as a proper noun, mind you!)...little did I know that my statement that the world would be better off if they committed suicide en masse would cause such an uproar! Apparently the Synod redacted most of the poetic beauty of Leviticus, including my favorite (need I quote chapter and verse? ), If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them. The damned liberals had invaded the one true faith that I knew, so now I'm back to "searching," although I already know the answers. Searching for a community to welcome me, I should say, and this particular forum came very highly recommended by a great man I know who has personally cured dozens of homos and burned not just the Qur'an, but EVERY RELIGIOUS TEXT besides the WORD (well, I don't count the NRSV as a Bible, 'cause he burned one of those, too).

Christ is Risen!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Greetings

Just wanted to introduce myself. I hail from a lineage of Lutheran ministers going back 5 generations. I recently stumbled across these forums through the link of a friend on Facebook. I know I'm already saved, but I'm looking forward to getting super-extra-saved with your moral guidance.

In Him (not in a gay way),

Rev. Jason Q

When did you abandon Lutheranism and become a Baptist?

Or do you still worship Martin Luther?

Is it true what I read, that they quote extensively from Martin Luther's "On the Jews and Their Lies" in services, and advocate the enslavement of the hebes?

It was Hitler's inspiration, you know.

In the treatise, Luther describes Jews as a "base, whoring people, that is, no people of God, and their boast of lineage, circumcision, and law must be accounted as filth."[1] Luther wrote that they are "full of the devil's feces ... which they wallow in like swine,"[2] and the synagogue is an "incorrigible whore and an evil slut".[3]

In the first ten sections of the treatise, Luther expounds, at considerable length, upon his views concerning Jews and Judaism and how these compare against Christians and Christianity. Following this exposition, Section XI of the treatise advises Christians to carry out seven remedial actions. These are (1) for Jewish synagogues and schools to be burned to the ground, and the remnants buried out of sight; (2) for houses owned by Jews to be likewise razed, and the owners made to live in agricultural outbuildings; (3) for their religious writings to be taken away; (4) for rabbis to be forbidden to preach, and to be executed if they do; (5) for safe conduct on the roads to be abolished for Jews; (6) for usury to be prohibited, and for all silver and gold to be removed and "put aside for safekeeping"; and (7) for the Jewish population to be put to work as agricultural slave labor.[4]

[Rev. Q]

Re: Greetings

When did you abandon Lutheranism and become a Baptist?

Or do you still worship Martin Luther?

Is it true what I read, that they quote extensively from Martin Luther's "On the Jews and Their Lies" in services, and advocate the extermination of the hebes?

It was Hitler's inspiration, you know.

They tend to tone down his anti-Semitic (I say pro-Christian!) teachings, saying things like we can't judge historical figures by today's standards. Hogwash, I say. But no, I was forced out of the Lutheran faith and immediately commenced searching for the right place. I'm not currently rockin' the pulpit, but I refuse to strip myself of the title "Reverend." Too much left to do on this Earth, and I'm still welcome at the local hospitals and prisons where I work diligently on spreading the WORD. In fact, a gay man dying of AIDS in a convalescent home recently confided in me that if it weren't for women's lib scaring him away from vaginal intercourse decades ago, he never would have experimented with hard drugs and decided that taking it up the rear was something he "had to try, just once." We'll be praying his gay away early next week. He's due to expire sometime in the next month, so the pressure's on.

[wait_what]

Re: Greetings

They tend to tone down his anti-Semitic (I say pro-Christian!) teachings, saying things like we can't judge historical figures by today's standards. Hogwash, I say. But no, I was forced out of the Lutheran faith and immediately commenced searching for the right place. I'm not currently rockin' the pulpit, but I refuse to strip myself of the title "Reverend." Too much left to do on this Earth, and I'm still welcome at the local hospitals and prisons where I work diligently on spreading the WORD. In fact, a gay man dying of AIDS in a convalescent home recently confided in me that if it weren't for women's lib scaring him away from cooterl intercourse decades ago, he never would have experimented with hard drugs and decided that taking it up the rear was something he "had to try, just once." We'll be praying his gay away early next week. He's due to expire sometime in the next month, so the pressure's on.

You might want to talk to Professor Bessemer, he has a proven system for undoing the gay curse. He developed it for himself, but it has helped several good men in the LBC.

Do you use a KJV, KJV 1611, or some heretic's rag?