Greetings from the lost land

[Johansen]

Greetings everybody!
Before I begin, I would like to apologize if my English is hard to understand, or if I use weird phrasings.

I come from the previously Christian nation Norway, which now is nothing but a tool for the sodomites to poison the minds of Christians, such as when homosexuals were allowed to marry in church!
Most Christians here are either "moderates"(pfft), or shunned by the now primarily atheist/muslim/socialist society.

I myself used to be among them! I was probably just one day away from being tempted into playing with feces, which by now happens to be common amongst youth. Luckily I was saved by The Lord, Jesus Christ before this happened!
Also, the politicians in this country are primarily socialist. Even the "right wing" are petty closet socialists of the same kind as Obama. No, what Norway needs is Republicans, something you Americans are blessed with!

Trying to be a proper Christian in Norway is hard, and I hope this forum will help me!
For starters, which English version of the bible is the most proper?
God bless all of you!

"But the Lord is with me as a mighty terrible one:
Therefore my persecutors shall stumble, and they shall not prevail:
They shall be greatly ashamed; for they shall not prosper:
Their everlasting confusion shall never be forgotten."
Jeremiah 20:11

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Greetings from the lost land

Greetings everybody!

Hello and welcome!

Before I begin, I would like to apologize if my English is hard to understand, or if I use weird phrasings.

That's okay. You still write better American than the juggalo trash we get through here on occasion.

I come from the previously Christian nation Norway, which now is nothing but a tool for the sodomites to poison the minds of Christians, such as when homosexuals were allowed to marry in church!
Most Christians here are either "moderates"(pfft), or shunned by the now primarily atheist/muslim/socialist society.

I'm sorry to hear you're stuck in an eskimo infested wasteland. I have to admit though I'm impressed that you have a computer that works in such frigid temperatures, and that you have electricity to your igloo!

I myself used to be among them! I was probably just one day away from being tempted into playing with feces, which by now happens to be common amongst youth. Luckily I was saved by The Lord, Jesus Christ before this happened!

PHEW! That was a close one!

Also, the politicians in this country are primarily socialist. Even the "right wing" are petty closet socialists of the same kind as Obama. No, what Norway needs is Republicans, something you Americans are blessed with!

Every nation on God's earth needs the GOP. Depending on when we're raptured, after we've fixed Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya, we can see about sending some troops your way. Unless that muslim communazi B. Hussein Obama is still illegally occupying the White House.

Trying to be a proper Christian in Norway is hard, and I hope this forum will help me!

I hope so too!

For starters, which English version of the bible is the most proper?

The King James, of course! (Note: The KJV, NOT the NKJV!)

God bless all of you!

And God bless you too.

[MartinIgnorance]

Re: Greetings from the lost land

Welcome brother!

A word of warning from me. I came here to seek help and learn more about Christian ways and the KJV, but I was met with hatred.

It's tough around here, but we'll get by, because Jesus will guide us!

Thank You,

Martin Lawrence

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Greetings from the lost land

Welcome brother!

A word of warning from me. I came here to seek help and learn more about Christian ways and the KJV, but I was met with hatred.

It's tough around here, but we'll get by, because Jesus will guide us!

Thank You,

Martin Lawrence

Nonsense! Didn't you just see me giving him a warm and inviting welcome? If you're going to spread hatred and lies around here, no wonder you're not getting a warm and inviting welcome as well!

[MartinIgnorance]

Re: Greetings from the lost land

Nonsense! Didn't you just see me giving him a warm and inviting welcome? If you're going to spread hatred and lies around here, no wonder you're not getting a warm and inviting welcome as well!

Hello,

Where was my warm and inviting welcome when I came here saying I love Jesus and seeking help?

Thank You,

Martin Lawrence

[Johansen]

Re: Greetings from the lost land

I'm sorry to hear you're stuck in an eskimo infested wasteland. I have to admit though I'm impressed that you have a computer that works in such frigid temperatures, and that you have electricity to your igloo!

Seems I'll have to clear up some misunderstandings, if you'll allow.

Norwegians don't live in igloos(anymore). See, in the time period of the 50s-60s, the Socialists government performed a massive satanic ritual in which they were granted the location of the oil in the Norwegian sea by Satan.
After this, the government started building mandatory houses for us to live in.
An act of kindness? Think again! This was all in a decades long plan to increase our "standard of living". This followed with the slavery which is "universal healthcare" (which Obama have tried to force upon the US).
All this slowly led to the people becoming more sleazy and prone to stray from the path. You can also see how good rules were removed not too long after the oil was found: teachers were no longer allowed to properly discipline their children, and parents lost their right to beat their children!
Homosexuality and divorce was allowed for and the "blasphemy law" was hurled out of the window!
God's word, in its infinite wisdom, has revealed the socialist/atheist/muslim plan:
"Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and never succeed." Proverbs 12:24
Obviously, what the majority of the Norwegian people won't succeed in is entering the kingdom of heaven!

There are so many factors! Another "advantage" for their plan is that when we don't live in igloos, sodomites will have the opportunity to sin even more, and allows weak people to sin out other sins such as bestiality!
Norway has an increase in traffic collisions in recent years. Why? Rape of forest animals!
The moose are hurling themselves at cars, obviously being tools of divine justice to ironically smite these sinners!
"Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion." Leviticus 18:23

In response, the government started spending money at having the ditches by the roads literally shaved for plant growth, so that drivers may more easily spot these tools of retribution before it is too late(I have not heard that this works. Obviously, you cannot prevent The Lord's will )

In the 60's, there was a big(planned) surge of Pakistani immigrants.
Obviously, these were here just to build false trust for the future generations(since these ones actually worked).
It also allowed them to take good jobs from Norwegian citizens and force more people into working for the state().
Of course, then the next generation could later come to be sleazy and not work, "inspiring" youth to become failures.

We also got many immigrant workers(and thieves) from the Baltic states and Poland. Catholics!
To my horrifying surprise, my dentist was one of these! I prepared myself to be martyred, but was spared. Obviously just to demonstrate how easily they can crush my flesh and blood when they will it(but not my faith)!
"Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life." Revelation 2:10

But you will find some igloo/tent livers further North: The Sami. Contrary to popular belief, are amongst the last real Christians(converted about a hundred years ago, while we still had morals enough to beat their children in this country), although the majority of them have fallen and live in and around Oslo
The two previous hard winters are obvious proof that the government are striking deals with Satan to worsen the weather and tempt the remaining Sami Christians to adapt the new atheist/socialist lifestyle!
Do take notice that most of the radio channels are state owned, and at least two of the main TV channels are state funded!
They were both made after 1954. Coincidence? I think not!

An American invasion would be welcome, but who knows what future there'll be with Obama by the American rudder.

A word of warning from me. I came here to seek help and learn more about Christian ways and the KJV, but I was met with hatred. It's tough around here, but we'll get by, because Jesus will guide us!

Cease your vile lies, Scientologist!
What hostility were there in that welcome? None!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Greetings from the lost land

Hello,

Where was my warm and inviting welcome when I came here saying I love Jesus and seeking help?

Thank You,

Martin Lawrence

Let's take a look at a particularly troublesome part of your introduction, shall we?

I have been Christianed at birth, and always wore a rosemary around my neck.

First the whole "Christianed" at birth thing. First of all, it's "christened". Secondly, we do ADULT baptism here as it is in the BIBLE, so if you hatefully come here being PROUD of being "baptised" at birth, of course you're not going to be greeted with open arms!
Thirdly... Rosemary? I don't care if you're wearing herbs or misspelling "rosary", either way it's WRONG! We are CHRISTIANS here, not idolatrous papists! Expecting us to welcome unsaved trash like you is one of the most hateful things I've ever seen!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Greetings from the lost land

Seems I'll have to clear up some misunderstandings, if you'll allow.

Okay, that was a lot of writing so I have to admit I just skimmed it, but it sounds like you're living in a communistic hell hole. Have you considered going Galt, thumbing your nose at the socialist overlords and living in an igloo again because you are now FREE in the Lord?

[Johansen]

Re: Greetings from the lost land

.Have you considered going Galt, thumbing your nose at the socialist overlords and living in an igloo again because you are now FREE in the Lord?

Oh indeed! First winter saved I did!
...
The Lord obviously didn't want that flamethrower to hit me, considering how I am relatively unscratched... but it sure got all the snow!

Turns out the igloos are illegal now.
I'll try again next winter!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Greetings from the lost land

Turns out the igloos are illegal now.
I'll try again next winter!

Hmmm. If it's illegal, don't forget that God wants us to obey secular law (which is why so many witches and sodomites walk around unstoned). The Lord has a plan for each and every one of us, and if that includes igloo-free living, then I guess you'll have to suffer in a socialist house and be a Norwegian martyr.

[Johansen]

Re: Greetings from the lost land

Indeed, that is so.

[Midge Murphy]

Re: Greetings from the lost land

i luv norway becaus the have the most fords, only they prononce if fee ord with that funny accent, i had a "fee ord" (ha ha ha) taurus but it ran like crap, it must be expesive to get them all over there. i know god tries to save these sinner nations i hope he gets to norway soon!!! I luv norway!!

here is a norwegin girl eating norwegin food, wow, isnt she pretty!! i dont thoink i could ever get a hot dog like that into my mouth, norwegin girls must have mouths the size of a pinapple can, i wish i was pretty like that. God bless norway!!!!

[Didymus Much]

Re: Greetings from the lost land

Hi, Johansen.

Seeing as you're in Norway, I was hoping you help me with some research I've been doing: Are there any Eskimos left in your region of Norway, or have the Icelanders eaten them already?

Thanks!