X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Hello

    I am a elder man look for salvation.
    I have recently realized all the sins I have made and I am now trying to garantee salvation.

    ~Jonah
    A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3

  • #2
    Re: Hello

    Welcome to the forum of GOD's elect in these last days.

    Please tell us a little more about your long, extensive past. Tell us what sins you have wallowed in for so long, and why you failed to accept JESUS CHRIST as your Personal LORD and SAVIOR until just now.
    sigpic
    The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
    - Proverbs 15:3

    CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


    CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Hello

      Originally posted by Jonahs View Post
      I am a elder man look for salvation.
      I have recently realized all the sins I have made and I am now trying to garantee salvation.

      ~Jonah
      Welcome, Jonah (or Jonahs as you've used for your screen name), which, of course, begs the question: Are you in the Witness Protection Program and have a negroidal as you mentor? Coons seem to have a general problem with mastering the American language.

      Nevertheless, let me spend some of my very valuable time to translate your statement into something more understandable:
      "I am an elderly man looking for salvation.

      I have recently come to realize all of the sins I have committed and I am trying to guarantee my salvation."

      Don't bother to thank me, it's just one of those things I do when confronted with persons of disability.



      With this translation into our vernacular, I can now point out that, for an introduction, yours sucks.

      Please tell us:

      1. How you found us.

      2. When and where you were saved.

      3. The church you attend.

      4. How many little Soldiers for Christ™ did your wife (living or dead - you didn't share that with us) grind out for you?

      5. Your favorite pie prepared (if your old lady has croaked, whatever your harlot whips up) for your table.

      5. Your favorite verse from the KJV1611 Bible.

      6. If you find Rick Perry "hot". (Trick question. We want to find out if you're a queer.)
      The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

      "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Hello

        Welcome aboard, Jonahs!

        Just how old are you? Do you need to use a lot of Viagra when you're sinning?
        WARNING:
        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Hello

          Hello Jonah(s)

          are you a joo? Why did your people kill Jesus?
          Jeremiah 23:29 Is not my word like as a fire? saith the LORD; and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?

          Ephesians 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

          Comment

          Working...
          X