Welcome to the forum of GOD's elect in these last days.
Please tell us a little more about your long, extensive past. Tell us what sins you have wallowed in for so long, and why you failed to accept JESUS CHRIST as your Personal LORD and SAVIOR until just now.
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The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3
I am a elder man look for salvation.
I have recently realized all the sins I have made and I am now trying to garantee salvation.
~Jonah
Welcome, Jonah (or Jonahs as you've used for your screen name), which, of course, begs the question: Are you in the Witness Protection Program and have a negroidal as you mentor? Coons seem to have a general problem with mastering the American language.
Nevertheless, let me spend some of my very valuable time to translate your statement into something more understandable:
"I am an elderly man looking for salvation.
I have recently come to realize all of the sins I have committed and I am trying to guarantee my salvation."
Don't bother to thank me, it's just one of those things I do when confronted with persons of disability.
With this translation into our vernacular, I can now point out that, for an introduction, yours sucks.
Please tell us:
1. How you found us.
2. When and where you were saved.
3. The church you attend.
4. How many little Soldiers for Christ™ did your wife (living or dead - you didn't share that with us) grind out for you?
5. Your favorite pie prepared (if your old lady has croaked, whatever your harlot whips up) for your table.
5. Your favorite verse from the KJV1611 Bible.
6. If you find Rick Perry "hot". (Trick question. We want to find out if you're a queer.)
Just how old are you? Do you need to use a lot of Viagra when you're sinning?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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