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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78553

    #16
    Re: Greetings LBC

    Originally posted by Offcr. Albert Martin View Post
    But Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and so I am loyal to His commands.
    Well that will come as a surprise to your papist dog brother.

    Where does Jesus command you to worship mary?

    Where does Jesus say that priests cannot marry?

    Where does Jesus command us to call a preist "father?"
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Pfc. James Nye
      Geriatric Gadfly
      Forum Member
      • Feb 2008
      • 90

      #17
      Re: Greetings LBC

      Don't Priestess Avalon snow you officer. Just the other day she was trying to peddle nudie pictures of her in the shower or some such. Toe porno.

      I resisted because I am a war hero.

      She should send them to me, I could resist even more. Then you can arrest her for transporting ladyparts across State lines. I can be a deputy. For America.

      I may already be.

      "Chopper" Nye
      Newfangled Stuff I Don't Like

      Oldest U.S. Veteran (ret!) -- in basic training Ft. Riley, Kansas when truce declared WWI -- influenze free

      Comment

      • Offcr. Albert Martin
        Unsaved Meter Maid
        • Feb 2008
        • 250

        #18
        Re: Greetings LBC

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Well that will come as a surprise to your papist dog brother.
        Actually, so does he.

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Where does Jesus command you to worship mary?
        We don't worship her...We just see her as the model Christian, and ask for her support and prayers.

        Oh, and why do you not capitalize her name? You capitalize Satan's, and I capitalize yours...do you see the mother of Jesus as less than human?

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Where does Jesus say that priests cannot marry?
        God calls different people to different states in life...My brother to the celibate state, and myself to the married state (Yes, I do have a wife and three children)

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Where does Jesus command us to call a preist "father?"
        1 Corinthans 4:15
        Originally posted by Paul
        "I became your father in Christ Jesus."
        Former member of a church which I cannot dare mention-Now a spiritual free agent-could LBC be the way for me?

        Comment

        • Priestess Avalon
          Unsaved trash
           
          • Feb 2008
          • 57

          #19
          Re: Greetings LBC

          Originally posted by Pfc. James Nye View Post
          Don't Priestess Avalon snow you officer. Just the other day she was trying to peddle nudie pictures of her in the shower or some such. Toe porno.

          I resisted because I am a war hero.

          She should send them to me, I could resist even more. Then you can arrest her for transporting ladyparts across State lines. I can be a deputy. For America.

          I may already be.

          "Chopper" Nye
          I wasnt it was sarcasm..because everybody said i dont wash because i'm wiccan..i said something like: what will it take to beleive me, a picture of me washing in the shower?

          never said i was going to and i even added that i had too much dignity to ever do that!

          Comment

          • Born Again Bob
            True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 2318

            #20
            Re: Greetings LBC

            Originally posted by Priestess Avalon View Post
            what will it take to beleive me, a picture of me washing in the shower?
            Dear Officer,

            Do you need any more evidence to have this woman extradited and locked up?

            I am willing to be thoroughly interrogated by you on this (or any) matter.

            Yours in Him,
            bab

            Comment

            • Offcr. Albert Martin
              Unsaved Meter Maid
              • Feb 2008
              • 250

              #21
              Re: Greetings LBC

              Originally posted by Born Again Bob View Post
              Dear Officer,

              Do you need any more evidence to have this woman extradited and locked up?

              I am willing to be thoroughly interrogated by you on this (or any) matter.

              Yours in Him,
              bab
              I think we might need to do both of these together in a questioning session.

              I'll be "good cop," you'll be "bad cop." Okay?
              Former member of a church which I cannot dare mention-Now a spiritual free agent-could LBC be the way for me?

              Comment

              • Mrs. Mary Whitford
                Ladies of Landover Senior VP
                One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
                Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
                True Christian™
                • Dec 2006
                • 12414

                #22
                Re: Greetings LBC

                I have to say, "Offcr." is the weirdest abbreviation I've ever seen of the word "Officer". Most people tend to us "Ofc." if abbreviating it.
                Posted via Prayer

                1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                Blogging for CHRIST!
                Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
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                My Ladies of Landover profile!

                Comment

                • JennyD
                  Honorary True Christian™
                  Sweet Placid Sister
                  Forum Member
                  • Dec 2007
                  • 9567

                  #23
                  Re: Greetings LBC

                  Originally posted by Offcr. Albert Martian View Post
                  My name is Albert Martin, and I am an officer in the Des Moines Police Department.

                  Lately, I've been hearing of some illegal activity going on (There is no such thing as "witch-hunting season" in state law, plus you have been vandalizing Catholic churches-and I am a Catholic. Additionally, one of you is undergoing prosecution for cruelty to animals, and you use anti-Semitism as your way to try to be free). My older brother, who is a Catholic priest, told me that.

                  So, just to let you know, if you break the law here, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED.

                  Saint Michael, pray for us!
                  Hello, I see you're one of Mother Thomas Martian's worn-out altar boys.

                  We didn't spill the lube on the altar; you might wish to talk to Mother Martian about that.

                  Falsely writing that Landoverians have been vandalizing Catholic anti-Christian death cult worship centers is called libel. Since I'm sure you'd make an arrest if you had evidence, it's clear you do not. So, I do hope you have a good lawyer, and substantial personal savings. I'm sure your CO will be hearing from Landover's attorneys tomorrow, and I expect the City will not be pleased to hear that you are conducting yourself in such a manner while representing the City.

                  Witch-hunting season is local, not state-wide. Do you pretend to be knowledgeable about all laws local to the Freehold area? Are you also unaware of local slang? That is, do you know what Landoverians mean by "witch"?

                  As for the "animal cruelty" case . . . What is that, more libel? Or are you just one of those PETA freaks?

                  An open investigation is public knowledge; give us a link to a news story or other relevant information to prove your statement, if it's true.

                  Finally, I've seen no anti-Semitism here, and fail to see how it'd be a "way to be free"!
                  Originally posted by Offcr. Albert Martin View Post
                  We don't worship her...We just see her as the model Christian, and ask for her support and prayers.
                  Tell me, "Officer" Martian, do you consider all model Christians to be "Queen of Heaven", or just Mary?
                  www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                  Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                  Christian Ladies:
                  Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                  Comment

                  • Enigmatic Harpo Marx
                    Resident ex-satanist
                    True Christian™
                    • Nov 2007
                    • 488

                    #24
                    Re: Greetings LBC

                    Originally posted by JennyD View Post
                    Tell me, "Officer" Martian, do you consider all model Christians to be "Queen of Heaven", or just Mary?
                    Is that what they call here!?! You know, I find a lot of things about all you Jesus-people absurd, but I think the Catholics take the cake with that one.
                    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I will fear no evil...

                    Comment

                    • SUV
                      True Christian™ Princess
                      The Driving Force behind RA12
                      Have at it, anytime!
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 11027

                      #25
                      Re: Greetings LBC

                      Oh, I DO love a Man in Uniform!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      That would be a CHRISTIAN Man in Uniform. Be gone, Sinner! You ain't no Mr Nice Guy.

                      Like your Brother the pervert priest and his minions - from Pope Eggs on down - we will "police" our own, here

                      Comment

                      • VictoryOS
                        True Christian™ Beauty Queen
                         
                        • Dec 2007
                        • 5388

                        #26
                        Re: Greetings LBC

                        Hello Officer. I'll admit cops make me a little nervous, but that's just a leftover from my younger days when I was in trouble a few times...

                        I have a couple questions for you. Are there any new leads in the Villisca axe murder case? And do you have any more of those Iowa Cubs baseball cards you were talking about?
                        Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
                        in 2016

                        Comment

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