Please accept this upright new member...

[Brother Lee Lover]

Hello and Praise the Lord!

Such is the wonder of the interweb that whilst searching for a Christian garage to care for my Land Rover I was by the way of Google and His holy ordnance directed to your fine Church, Praise be to God!

I can only thank the Lord that he chose to make His wishes for me known in such a mysterious way, Amen!

I am a gatherer of lost souls whose own past has been saddened and blighted by the demons of strong drink, weak will, fast women and the sorry curse of masturbation. But Praise be to Him and Thank the Lord I have not touched most of the foregoing for a considerable time. I am yet a sinner though with prayer, fasting and Good Works do seek to prove that I may yet gain the light of His Love.

My ministry remains precarious however as I'm still without a gearbox in my essential transport (used for the collecting of whores and similar so that I might pray with them and minister to their Godless souls) so if any among you happen to have a Series 3 drivetrain I'd be most interested...

Yours in His Love,

Brother Lee Lover

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Please accept this upright new member...

Welcome! It has been said (by Pastor Ezekiel, if I recall correctly) that the best member is an upright member!

Hello and Praise the Lord!

Such is the wonder of the interweb that whilst searching for a Christian garage to care for my Land Rover I was by the way of Google and His holy ordnance directed to your fine Church, Praise be to God!

I can only thank the Lord that he chose to make His wishes for me known in such a mysterious way, Amen!

Great! And what church do you attend? What is your favorite Scripture, and why?

I am a gatherer of lost souls

Um . . . what do you do with them?

You're not doing a Jeffrey Dahmer kind of thing, are you?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Please accept this upright new member...

Welcome friend. Perhaps you'll find a Tin Tither(r) with a ratty 3 series to help you. I dumped the 750i after a year, it was way too 'girly' a machine for me.

What led you to realize Jesus has had your back all these years?

Who many sons has Jesus decided to bless you with?

[Brother Lee Lover]

Re: Please accept this upright new member...

Well Reverend, let me firstly thank you for your kindly words of welcome.

I used to love to hear the Reverend Phelps preach at the Westboro Baptist Church when I lived in Topeka, but since I've been on the road I fear that my church is more often where I find myself ministering, whether that's in the cab of my faithful truck or in the sordid and sweaty boudoir of a whore that needs saving.

My favourite scripture? Well that's like asking a child which candy they prefer when the answer is surely "all of them", but if I was to choose just one it would have to be Psalm 139:

"O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it."


Reminds me a little of what I've found already in this might interweb church of yours.


Praise be to God!

[Brother Lee Lover]

Re: Please accept this upright new member...

Welcome friend. Perhaps you'll find a Tin Tither® with a ratty 3 series to help you. I dumped the 750i after a year, it was way too 'girly' a machine for me.

What led you to realize Jesus has had your back all these years?

Who many sons has Jesus decided to bless you with?

Howdy Brother Hutchins and thanks for reaching out the virtual hand of friendship! I hear what you're saying about the "girly" seven series; there's much to be admired in the German's capacity for honesty, hard work and ethnic cleansing but they sure do like to prettify their cars. As if young men didn't face enough problems without being led astray by fancy paintwork and electric seats.

I found Jesus in prison. I actually found several Jesuses in prison, but mostly they were Mexican and were therefore Godless wetbacks who deserved the beatings they got regular for using His name in vain. It was probably on one of the darkest days of my life when I experienced the blinding realization that perhaps if I allowed Jesus (not the Mexican) into my life I might be directed to pursue His purpose rather than just wandering around pursuing my own (which wasn't really taking me anyplace, but prison).

I ain't been blessed with sons, but who knows but I might find a decent God fearing woman from among this flock right here who could change that for the better.