Hello all

[Tony Harrison]

Hello all. I have been a devout Christian all my life, yet have only recently decided to join this forum. I am a new father and have a son of 2 years old with another on the way. I need help to raise my son as to ensure he upholds the same Christian values as I. I do not want him to grow up to be a monkey worshipper or, God forbid, a homosexual. Help from my fellow Christian fathers would be much appreciated. God bless you

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hello all

Hello all. I have been a devout Christian all my life, yet have only recently decided to join this forum. I am a new father and have a son of 2 years old with another on the way. I need help to raise my son as to ensure he upholds the same Christian values as I. I do not want him to grow up to be a monkey worshipper or, God forbid, a homosexual. Help from my fellow Christian fathers would be much appreciated. God bless you

Tony, you may have missed this part because it's cleverly hidden at the top of every page in this forum:

Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

P.S. To answer your question: all the help you need is in the KJV Bible!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello all

I know that Christianity is all but outlawed down there in Godless Austria, where drooling abos rule, and criminality is celebrated.

Tell us about yourself, pal. How many kangaroos do you have in your corral? Is it true that nearly everyone on that godforsaken island is drunk on Foster's Lager?

[Tony Harrison]

Re: Hello all

I'm sorry, how rude of me. My name is Tony, I actually live in Australia, not Austria. I attend my local church Summerlakes Baptist Church, where attendance has sadly been slowly dwindling since i began going there. Unfortunately Pastor Ezekiel, you are correct on many of your points. The government continues to reward the lazy, godless aboriginals while decent middle-class folk such as myself are ignored. Australians as a whole are unlikely to attend church as they are instead brought up to praise alcohol rather than God, and drink themselves stupid every weekend. Our prime minister is an atheist, and cultural icons are sinners. We do not all abide by these complete lack of morals however. Though those of us who do praise Him are lacking a forum in which to do so without being harrassed by non-believers. Hence my turning to this forum. I hear things are quite different over on your side of the world?

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Hello all

Australia, you say? Do us a favor and don't steal anything here during your stay, which will no doubt be brief.

Have you replaced your President Steve Irwin yet? The one assasinated by the fish? And what is your favorite verse from the Bible, and how has it affected your life in the alps?

Oh, and those horns your abos play are really annoying!

[Little Donkey]

Re: Hello all

Australia, you say? Do us a favor and don't steal anything here during your stay, which will no doubt be brief.

Have you replaced your President Steve Irwin yet? The one assasinated by the fish? And what is your favorite verse from the Bible, and how has it affected your life in the alps?

Oh, and those horns your abos play are really annoying!

Forgive me Brother Enoch, but I double checked and he did in fact say Australia. The easiest way to remember which is which is that one's a continent and the other is only one of 5 countries in the interior. The others are Queenstown, New South Wales, Tansania and Northen Hemisphere.

[Voll_EQ]

Re: Hello all

In denmarkian we do have Christiana, there they also use such instruments, but i believe they use it for Canabis

[Ramika]

Re: Hello all

Australia, you say? Do us a favor and don't steal anything here during your stay, which will no doubt be brief.

Have you replaced your President Steve Irwin yet? The one assasinated by the fish? And what is your favorite verse from the Bible, and how has it affected your life in the alps?

Oh, and those horns your abos play are really annoying!

Good Morning Brother Enoch,

The national musical instrument of Australia is actually the didgeridoo (ugh. I feel dirty just typing that!!)
It does look somewhat similar to the marijuana pipe that the people of Austria use:
Here we see President Obama in the National dress of Australia. I believe this picture was taken during a summit where he was overheard saying "I'll do anything you want. I just want you guys to like me". Next thing you know, he was dressed like this smoking marijuana out of a didgeridoo (ew! I said it again! Such a dirty word!)



Tony you said
"I attend my local church Summerlakes Baptist Church, where attendance has sadly been slowly dwindling since i began going there. "

Why have people stopped going since you started to attend? Do you smell? Do you attempt to show your didgeridoo in church? What have you done to offend the other worshipers that they no longer wish to attend if you're there?

Yours in Prayer,

Kimberly