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  • davidbrainfart
    Unsaved trash, cannukistani terrorist
    • Dec 2011
    • 128

    #1

    DaveTheInfidel Here

    Hello, I am DaveTheInfidel, also known as davidbain or davidbrainless. I am white, also known as black, Southern, also known as Canadian, and smart, also known as brainless. Indeed I am a man of much paradox, 72 years old with the maturity of a much younger man.

    I was born on October 30, 1939 to poor but honest parents. My parents grew up as Nazarenes and met at Trevecca Nazarene College in Nashville, Tennessee. My parents rebelled against their strict religious upbringing. My mother took us to the Baptist church down the street to provide a more liberal influence in our religious upbringing. If we had lived a mile down the street, we would have been brought up as Methodists. My father just stayed home.

    This is my third thread on this message board. My first thread entitled "The Case for Atheism" was moved to the "False religions" board. My second thread entitled "Are most people good" drew an infraction for "forcing the homersexual agenda on God's favorite forum." Baffling. No reference to homosexuality there. It soon disappeared. Maybe this thread will stick.
    The Baptists say "once saved, always saved." I was saved twice, when I was nine and when I was fourteen, so you can throw all you want to me at me, 'cause I can do what I damn well please. Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, and yap, yap, yappity, yap!

    I've done about a hundred posts here so far, and I can honestly say I've had it up to here! and I'm 6'5". I'm right and y'all are wrong. I'm fighting off infractions like a bear fighting off bees as he raids their hive. He just keeps on going.

    Every time I think I have probed a new depth of evil in the name of Christianity, I make a new discovery. For example, this week I learned your church is sympathetic to the Ku Klux Kan. My research on Google has uncovered your connections to the Klan, Pimps and Prostitutes for Jesus, and the Republican party.

    I was so horrified by Abner Leopold's boast about beating his daughter until she required six stitches, then knocking a cripple over with a shopping cart that I contacted the Freehold police.

    I spoke to a high ranking police officer who told me that he fully sympathized with me and that Abner was only one of four esteemed church members under investigation for child and cripple abuse. He said, however, that there was nothing he could do when the chief of police was a Klansman and Landover Baptist Church ran the city. He told me he was a Mormon with latent Muslim leanings. He suggested that he could go after these men once the existing order was overturned--led perhaps by a coalition of atheists, Satanists, liberals, and Democrats.

    I vowed that I would stay on at the Landover Baptist Church Forum, working at a safe distance sending poison pen posts to make as many converts as possible and dislodge as many of the good church members as possible from their complacency. So I am here now and intend to be until they ban me and condemn me to hell.

    Y'all look out! The bainster is on the prowl!!
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: DaveTheInfidel Here

    Originally posted by davidbrainless View Post
    Hello, I am DaveTheInfidel, blahblahblah...So I am here now and intend to be until they ban me and condemn me to hell.
    You condemn yourself to hell with each keystroke, boy.

    I sincerely hope that the Holy Spirit fills you up like it does me.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Bible Thumping Billy
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Jan 2012
      • 103

      #3
      Re: DaveTheInfidel Here

      I must say you have a great avatar. I knew your folk loved your watermelon, but as hats?

      Comment

      • davidbrainfart
        Unsaved trash, cannukistani terrorist
        • Dec 2011
        • 128

        #4
        Re: DaveTheInfidel Here

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        You condemn yourself to hell with each keystroke, boy.
        Who you callin' boy, boy?

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        I sincerely hope that the Holy Spirit fills you up like it does me.
        You're full of it all right.

        Comment

        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23775

          #5
          Re: DaveTheInfidel Here

          You like the smilies, eh Brainless Dave? Is that because they're free?
          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

          Comment

          • Youth Pastor Marty
            True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 365

            #6
            Re: DaveTheInfidel Here

            Originally posted by davidbrainless View Post

            Y'all look out! The buffoon is back!
            When I see a wall of text littered with smiley icons it's a dead giveaway of foolishness and I tend to skip over it. It's such a pity you have returned. I had just begun to hope that demons had you dressed up and barbequed like a Polynesian pig at Lucifer's Luau.

            Matthew 13:41-43 The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.

            Comment

            • Jayson.J
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              • Jan 2012
              • 26

              #7
              Re: DaveTheInfidel Here

              Don't we condemn the colored here or something?

              Comment

              • davidbrainfart
                Unsaved trash, cannukistani terrorist
                • Dec 2011
                • 128

                #8
                Re: DaveTheInfidel Here

                Originally posted by Jayson.J View Post
                Don't we condemn the colored here or something?
                Repeat after me "There is no place for racism at Landover!" Besides, I'm just an honorary n*gger.

                They let you keep posting after you're banned? Neato!

                Comment

                • Bible Thumping Billy
                  Forum Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Jan 2012
                  • 103

                  #9
                  Re: DaveTheInfidel Here

                  Originally posted by davidbrainless View Post
                  Repeat after me "There is no place for racism at Landover!" Besides, I'm just an honorary n*gger.

                  They let you keep posting after you're banned? Neato!
                  That may be the smartest thing I've heard you say so far

                  Comment

                  • Onfire4theLord
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Jan 2012
                    • 17

                    #10
                    Re: DaveTheInfidel Here

                    Exactly the type of drivel I would expect from an unsaved heathen.

                    Comment

                    • davidbrainfart
                      Unsaved trash, cannukistani terrorist
                      • Dec 2011
                      • 128

                      #11
                      Re: DaveTheInfidel Here

                      Originally posted by davidbrainless
                      Repeat after me "There is no place for racism at Landover!" Besides, I'm just an honorary n*gger.
                      Originally posted by Bible Thumping Billy View Post
                      That may be the smartest thing I've heard you say so far
                      If you think that's the smartest thing I've said here, you haven't read my other posts. I am not what I seem to be, but then none of us here are what we seem to be.

                      Comment

                      • Bible Thumping Billy
                        Forum Member
                        Forum Member
                        • Jan 2012
                        • 103

                        #12
                        Re: DaveTheInfidel Here

                        Originally posted by davidbrainless View Post
                        If you think that's the smartest thing I've said here, you haven't read my other posts. I am not what I seem to be, but then none of us here are what we seem to be.
                        Actually David, we are who we seem to be most of us besides the unsaved trash, are God-fearing people.

                        Psalms 2:11 we are here as ourselves warning the unsaved trash of the coming horrors in Hell they face, unless they repent of their evil and walk with Jesus.

                        Comment

                        • Rev. M. Rodimer
                          Honorary True Christian™
                          Forum Member
                          • May 2008
                          • 13996

                          #13
                          Re: DaveTheInfidel Here

                          Originally posted by Jayson.J View Post
                          Don't we condemn the colored here or something?
                          No. WE ban the bigoted.
                          Originally posted by davidbrainless View Post
                          If you think that's the smartest thing I've said here, you haven't read my other posts.
                          I've read quite a few of your other posts, and I'm pretty sure it was among the smartest things you've said here.

                          For the most part, you just whine that a congregation of True Christians(tm) refuse to tell you how wonderful it is that you hate and mock God, and won't grant your secret wish and lie to you to say that God will let you into Heaven in spite of your unbelief and your unrepentant blasphemies.

                          Frankly, all of that is pretty darned stupid.
                          Bible boring? Nonsense!
                          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                          Comment

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