[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

Ahem, but what of the impeachment of Obama? I agree that Chick Tracts are very special.

Satan had made me stupid up until I read the Chick tract which described how some AIDs can still get through a condom - thank you for opening my eyes to this scientific fact Mr Chick!

Incidentally I do not use a condom, I have no wife therefore do not concern myself with 'down there' in the slightest unless for the foul Satanic concern of bodily functions.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

I didn't know you were once friends with Bill Gates!

What other secrets have you been keeping?

Evil Mr Gates used to play on the table across the room from me, back in my unsaved days. We always knew he was there because of the smell of cabbage and the reedy, whiny voice admonishing people not to touch him.

I knew he would come to no good.

You'd be unpleasantly surprised how many people used to engage in that evil game...

That nice Mr Chick did me a great favour with his Chick Tracts, oh yes!

Glory!
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[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

What is the Landover Baptist take on these reasons for Obama to be impeached?

• Denying the Keystone pipeline through the U.S.A. Denied us jobs.
• Acquiescing/apologizing to Arabs and radical Muslims.
• Blaming the U.S.A. for some of the world's troubles.
• Guaranteeing $2 billion in loans to Brazil's Petrobras oil company. Allowing our people to teach them how to work. George Soros owns shares in Petrobras, according to Bloomberg.com.
• Obama claims we may purchase this oil, but it is expected to go to China
• The president never was vetted and seems inapt at his job.
• Still blames George W. Bush for the high price of gas. Obama lets it go up when he could lower it.
• Lost opportunity in Iran when he had chance to support the uprising.
• Threw Israel to the dogs.
• Fifty percent do not pay taxes. Would add taxes to the one percent who pay and earn the most.
• Forcing Catholic or other religious hospitals to do or pay for abortions.
• Forcing religious groups to supply contraceptives to employees.
• Incompetent.
• In my opinion, not always following Constitution.

These are not my opinions, but I am not sure I can post the URL as I am Unsaved Trash and do not want to be banned from an honest, decent hardworking forum like this for doing so!

[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

I fully agree, he has one son I am aware of, Eric, however just because he's straight it doesn't mean that he might'nt be made to do unGodly things in the shower, particularly if he drops the soap.

I am confident the Lord will protect Kent, possibly with some kind of celestial plug, or seal his lips, even if the Lord was unable to save Dinosaur Adventure Land which I sadly never got to visit. I understand it has now been crushed by the government and is currently residing in various landfill sites. The d*****d evolutionists have won this battle, but not the war!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Halllujah!

Every night I pray that when Dr Dino goes down on his knees to worship at night he has not been forced down on his knees a mere hour earlier by a group of black men in the showers and shown the business side oif the homosexual agenda.

I am sure God Himself will protect an innocent man in this situation, although of course if He chooses not to that is entirely His lookout. Praise Him!

Don't worry, I have it on good assurance that Kent "Dr. Dino" Hovind is as straight as Ted Haggard: 100%

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Halllujah!

I've since learnt that one of my ex friends was so deeply ensorcelled into the disgusting 'roll play' that he could no longer distinguish between reality and delusion! He apparany believes he has the power to influence people's mind and a cabal of dark suited demons rewards his efforts with material wealth

I didn't know you were once friends with Bill Gates!

What other secrets have you been keeping?

[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

Every night I pray that when Dr Dino goes down on his knees to worship at night he has not been forced down on his knees a mere hour earlier by a group of black men in the showers and shown the business side oif the homosexual agenda.

I am sure God Himself will protect an innocent man in this situation, although of course if He chooses not to that is entirely His lookout. Praise Him!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Halllujah!

Is there anybody at Landover who has personally met Jack Chick (or the feller he works with who can draw better than he can)? Are you associates of his? What about Kent Hovind? Does anybody here visit him in jail? Or write to him? If I ever manage to be the first Scotch True Christian this, for me, would be something I'd really aspire to do. Obviously this is chicken feed compared to when I meet Jesus and His Daddy but it would still be something I'd treasure.

And not in any kind of homer way, I don't want to kiss them or anything. Just shake their hand for their work for the Lord. I'd wear gloves.

I've spent a good deal of time with prison ministries in my past, and I know just how harsh it can be in there. That said, I haven't spent a great deal of time studying the so-called "Dr. Dino". To me it always seemed like a gimmick--a man more interested in making money off of God than of spreading the True Word of God. Sure, he used sound Biblical science(r), but I suspect that he was more of a luster for money rather than for Biblical Truths.

But of course that is simply speculation on my part. He was a poster-child for the US government to tack up to the wall, for Obama to send a message to us True Believers out there that he is keeping tabs on us. Fortunately we haven't bowed to the pressure and we have continued to fight the good Fight, with the Help of the One Who watches over us. Praise Jesus!

[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

How ridiculous, only God has that power!

My favourite tract is 'Big daddy' wherein the combined God-inspired might of Hovind and Chick utterly destroy the idiot Satanic evolutionist. This is done using Scripture-backed incisive scientific fact and logic!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Is there anybody at Landover who has personally met Jack Chick (or the feller he works with who can draw better than he can)? Are you associates of his? What about Kent Hovind? Does anybody here visit him in jail? Or write to him? If I ever manage to be the first Scotch True Christian this, for me, would be something I'd really aspire to do. Obviously this is chicken feed compared to when I meet Jesus and His Daddy but it would still be something I'd treasure.

And not in any kind of homer way, I don't want to kiss them or anything. Just shake their hand for their work for the Lord. I'd wear gloves.

I too have a vested interest in Mr Chick. In my unsaved life I would play the Dungeons & Dragons. One look at his inspired tracts put me on the straight and narrow, oh yes!

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.ASP

I've since learnt that one of my ex friends was so deeply ensorcelled into the disgusting 'roll play' that he could no longer distinguish between reality and delusion! He apparany believes he has the power to influence people's mind and a cabal of dark suited demons rewards his efforts with material wealth

A close shave, indeed, oh yes!

YIC
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[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

Is there anybody at Landover who has personally met Jack Chick (or the feller he works with who can draw better than he can)? Are you associates of his? What about Kent Hovind? Does anybody here visit him in jail? Or write to him? If I ever manage to be the first Scotch True Christian this, for me, would be something I'd really aspire to do. Obviously this is chicken feed compared to when I meet Jesus and His Daddy but it would still be something I'd treasure.

And not in any kind of homer way, I don't want to kiss them or anything. Just shake their hand for their work for the Lord. I'd wear gloves.

[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

Excellent I will do thank you!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

I need to be to get into Heaven, help me become one or at least as close to one as possible!

Get reading your Bible (KJV1611) cover to cover!

Chop chop!

YIC
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[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

I need to be to get into Heaven, help me become one or at least as close to one as possible!

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Halllujah!

Where I live is irrelevant, I am as Landover Baptist as the next True Christian.

True. Except that you are not Landover baptist, or True Christian™.