Finding his Noodleyness

[HisNoodleyAppendage]

Hello and I am proud to be at God's favorite and only true church, Landoverbaptist church. Freehold Iowa has truly been as amazing, if not more so, than Kansas itself. But before we get to that point, my name is Kenneth and I'm a Christian Pastafarian, believing that I have been touched by the noodley appendage of God himself, the Flying Spaghetti Monster who gave of his son Jesus on the cross to save me from my sins . Without his forever saving grace, I would not be allowed to go out and eat whatever I wanted to eat of his forever saving pasta, the gift that keeps on giving, and then ask for forgiveness and repent of my sins over and over again to be forever in the redemption of His Noodleyness so that I may be saved of aeternal damnation. I am proud to finally be in the comforting presence of a congregation who cares, the one and only congregation that will make of you a true Christian. I believe in my coming to this congregation, that I may grow and learn more of the KJV1611 Bible that will be instilled into my heart for the ages to come forever and ever. Ramen.

[HisNoodleyAppendage]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

Oh and I found Jesus whilst watching the Southpark Episode of Cartman's Christian band Faith + 1. After seeing that, there was no way that I could deny it. I was truly in love with Jesus.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

Dear God-mocking Pervert;

You are not welcome here. Go peddle your noodle-demons somewhere else.

Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I can't wait to watch you burn in hell for all eternity. Oh, how we'll laugh at you as you scream in agony! Shout Glory!!

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[HisNoodleyAppendage]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

Dear God-mocking Pervert;

You are not welcome here. Go peddle your noodle-demons somewhere else.

Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I can't wait to watch you burn in hell for all eternity. Oh, how we'll laugh at you as you scream in agony! Shout Glory!!

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

Hey if we can have Messianic Jews and Arab Christians and Buddhist Christians and Wiccan Christians...why not Pastafarian Christians?

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

Hey if we can have Messianic Jews and Arab Christians and Buddhist Christians and Wiccan Christians...why not Pastafarian Christians?

I guess its possible to have an Arab Christian... theoretically, but the rest of those hybrid balls of sin are headed straight to Hell. Hope you enjoy burning right along with them!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

Hey if we can have Messianic Jews and Arab Christians and Buddhist Christians and Wiccan Christians...why not Pastafarian Christians?

None of those are True Christians(tm). They're all going to spend eternity in hell, with you.

A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3

[HisNoodleyAppendage]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

None of those are True Christians™. They're all going to spend eternity in hell, with you.

Well, being a fervent believer and reader, and also being a fervent tither and having contributed towards the book "JesusLand" in support of God's favorite and only true church, while accepting your beliefs, wouldn't that make me a Pastafarian True Christian™? I'm sure I have much to learn in being a True Christian™ as most everybody does since nobody can fathom the entire knowledge of the Omnipotent Noodley One.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

Well, being a fervent believer and reader, and also being a fervent tither and having contributed towards the book "JesusLand" in support of God's favorite and only true church, while accepting your beliefs, wouldn't that make me a Pastafarian True Christian™? I'm sure I have much to learn in being a True Christian™ as most everybody does since nobody can fathom the entire knowledge of the Omnipotent Noodley One.

A tither? So you've given 10% of your yearly gross income to some noodle-cult temple over in Godless Europistan?

Or do you mean that you bought some book on sale and now feel entitled to a seat at Christ's table.

Either way, you're a fool boy.

[HisNoodleyAppendage]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

A tither? So you've given 10% of your yearly gross income to some noodle-cult temple over in Godless Europistan?

Or do you mean that you bought some book on sale and now feel entitled to a seat at Christ's table.

Either way, you're a fool boy.

Well, I've also paid my contribution for the Plan of Salvation, which truly is the cheapest plan of salvation out of any church out there, and have received a copy of my Certificate of Eternal Security. I have Pastor Deacon Fred's signature too, and have given over $12,000 towards the cause, making my salvation perfectly legitimate.

[HisNoodleyAppendage]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

And to your pamphlet "Please Jesus Don't Send Me to Hell."

[HisNoodleyAppendage]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

Praise Him..Hallelujah Ramen!



I need you in my life, Jesus. I can't live without you, Jesus.
And I just want to feel you deep inside me, Jesus.
Don't ever leave me, Jesus. I couldn't stand to see you go.
My heart would simply snap, my Lord, if you walked on out that door.
I promise I'll be good to you, and keep you warm at night.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, why don't we just... shut off the lights.
I love you, Jesus, I want you to walk with me.
I'll take good care of you baby. Call you my baby, baby!
You died for my sins, and you know that I would die for you, right?
What's the matter, baby? You tremble at Jesus, baby! Your love, is my life!
You'ld know when I talk too, there's a blackhole in my life! Ooooh!
I want'a believe, it's alright, cause I get lonely in the night and it's up to you to save me, Jesus, baby!

Oh Lord you are my savior! You know I miss you so much when you are gone.
Yes I may be born again, but I wasn't born again yesterday.
I want'a get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus. I want'a feel his salvation all over my face.


The body of Christ, sleek swimmer's body, all muscled up and toned.
The body of Christ, Oh, Lord Almighty, I wish I could call it my own.
You're one time, two times, three times my Savior...
Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross I can't help but think that he looks kind'a hot...

[Biff Banner]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

Hello and I am proud to be at God's favorite and only true church, Landoverbaptist church. Freehold Iowa has truly been as amazing, if not more so, than Kansas itself. But before we get to that point, my name is Kenneth and I'm a Christian Pastafarian, believing that I have been touched by the noodley appendage of God himself, the Flying Spaghetti Monster who gave of his son Jesus on the cross to save me from my sins . Without his forever saving grace, I would not be allowed to go out and eat whatever I wanted to eat of his forever saving pasta, the gift that keeps on giving, and then ask for forgiveness and repent of my sins over and over again to be forever in the redemption of His Noodleyness so that I may be saved of aeternal damnation. I am proud to finally be in the comforting presence of a congregation who cares, the one and only congregation that will make of you a true Christian. I believe in my coming to this congregation, that I may grow and learn more of the KJV1611 Bible that will be instilled into my heart for the ages to come forever and ever. Ramen.

I am new here too, I am here to learn with God's Chosen at Landover, why on God's green earth would you want to come on here and talk about some cosmic lasagne you're pretending to believe in? Get with the program spaghetti-face

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

This doesn't happen often but I am truly baffled by this. Is a noodly appendage what I think it is? Pastor Zeke, is this appropriate for our fair boards, to be comparing appendages with other so-called deities?

Goodness, I am shocked at the rampant immorality this person has shown. Why someone would worship a meal (assuming it doesn't mean the other "noodle") is beyond me. I suppose next he'll be bowing down to a magical pea pod

[Karen Nightingale]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

Please forgive me but I find this all quite amusing. Please, please follow this link and click on one of the threads before all this Noodliness goes too far.

[theburnie]

Re: Finding his Noodleyness

YOUR NOODLYNESS! PLEASE GUIDE ME AS I HAVE SINNED! HIS NOODLYNESS WILL SURELY DAMN ME OTHERWISE!