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  • I'm getting married

    So i apologize for this no being in the right sub forum but, I met a nice christian girl and talked to her father and I'm now engaged!
    Lev.20:13
    If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

  • #2
    Re: I'm getting married

    You're sixteen..which means, depending on your state, you have to have your parents permission. Nice try
    And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. Revelation 12:9

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    • #3
      Re: I'm getting married

      Originally posted by Roses224 View Post
      You're sixteen..which means, depending on your state, you have to have your parents permission. Nice try
      And he does, dimwit.

      Congratulations, Jacob! We know you've been working toward providing more True Christian(tm) soldiers for Jesus!

      Have you seen "Jesus Camp"? You can doubtless find a place like this for your children.
      Bible boring? Nonsense!
      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

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      • #4
        Re: I'm getting married

        Congratulations!
        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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        • #5
          Re: I'm getting married

          I'm very proud of you.
          GOD HATE FAGS
          Athiesm is a form of mental illness that should be treated immediately.

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          • #6
            Re: I'm getting married

            Well this is good news. What kind of dowry is her father paying you?
            WARNING:
            In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
            REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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            • #7
              Re: I'm getting married

              Originally posted by Jacob Cunnings View Post
              So i apologize for this no being in the right sub forum but, I met a nice christian girl and talked to her father and I'm now engaged!
              Pardon me for being pedantic but my vibrant young fresh faced young Nephew (who is visiting me again) has just pointed out that based your post you could actually be engaged to anyone and the only other person referenced in your post is of the manualar persuasion sexwise i.e. HER FATHER

              Can you put his mind at rest as I don't what another case of explaining the disgusting matters of male on male debasement based penertration of the most unholiest of holes by the penile member.

              YIC
              1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

              Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

              Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

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              • #8
                Re: I'm getting married

                Cautious congratulations, waiting on your response to Brother Niles.

                Brother Niles - God seems to be really testing you. It seems there is scarcely a day goes by without you having to speak at great length with your fresh faced nephew about sodomy.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Catherine Moore View Post
                  Cautious congratulations, waiting on your response to Brother Niles.

                  Brother Niles - God seems to be really testing you. It seems there is scarcely a day goes by without you having to speak at great length with your fresh faced nephew about sodomy.
                  Your concern touches me deeply, sister. It is encombent on us all to educate the younger generation on precisely what not to do in every possible perverted sodomy senario.

                  I just wish his mum was more alert to the risk him being corrupted by some drooling perverted posterior pirate.

                  YIC
                  Posted via Mobile Device
                  1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                  Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                  Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I'm getting married

                    How are you going to come up with the requisite 50 shekels? I assume you will see that worthless football padding and wash some cars, now that spring is here and the air filled with the dank smell of freshly spewed pollen.
                    If you like, you can come over the Hutchins place and wash our cars. I pay $1 a car, $1.50 for a pickup and $2.00 for my Big rig. I'll supply buckets, and water. Be sure to bring a spare pair of shorts and Tshirt as you will undoubtedly get wet. Afterward, perhaps you and I can sit down and talk about what being married is all about and how God is a critical, integral part of any successful marriage.
                    Last edited by James Hutchins; 03-31-2012, 08:16 PM.
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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                    • #11
                      Re: I'm getting married

                      Originally posted by Jacob Cunnings View Post
                      So i apologize for this no being in the right sub forum but, I met a nice christian girl and talked to her father and I'm now engaged!
                      CONGRATULATIONS JACOB!!!


                      Girls, do you have embarrassing "problems" with your down there parts like I used to?
                      Reverend Jim Osborne can help!



                      sigpic

                      He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. Deuteronomy 32-4

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                      • #12
                        Re: I'm getting married

                        Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                        How are you going to come up with the requisite 50 shekels?
                        Brother, did he rape the girl?!
                        Bible boring? Nonsense!
                        Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                        You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: I'm getting married

                          Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                          How are you going to come up with the requisite 50 shekels? I assume you will see that worthless football padding and wash some cars, now that spring is here and the air filled with the dank smell of freshly spewed pollen.
                          If you like, you can come over the Hutchins place and wash our cars. I pay $1 a car, $1.50 for a pickup and $2.00 for my Big rig. I'll supply buckets, and water. Be sure to bring a spare pair of shorts and Tshirt as you will undoubtedly get wet. Afterward, perhaps you and I can sit down and talk about what being married is all about and how God is a critical, integral part of any successful marriage.
                          Aren't you forgetting certain Mexicans who depend on the work you give them? Hopefully this boy washing your car is just a one-time-only kind of a thing?

                          Or maybe you could have your wife make a few baloney sandwiches for the Mexicans to take home so they won't go hungry during this work shortage they'll be experiencing?

                          Do Mexicans eat sandwiches? I never really thought about that...
                          WARNING:
                          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: I'm getting married

                            No, but they love tripe soup.
                            Come climb my mountains.

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                            • #15
                              Re: I'm getting married

                              Originally posted by Jacob Cunnings View Post
                              So i apologize for this no being in the right sub forum but, I met a nice christian girl and talked to her father and I'm now engaged!
                              Originally posted by Roses224 View Post
                              You're sixteen..which means, depending on your state, you have to have your parents permission. Nice try
                              Which state/country do you live in that has laws covering engagement? Poor try.

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