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  • Walker Evans
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Mar 2008
    • 14
    #1

    My introduction

    Seeing as I'm so new here, I don't want to seem haughty with a lengthy introduction listing all my accomplishments and such. I'll sum it up as such: There's this guy named Jesus. I'm a lot like him. Sure, there are some who are better (all of whom go to this church) but I like to think I'm on my way.

    In Christ,

    Brother Walker
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: My introduction

      Originally posted by Walker Evans View Post
      Seeing as I'm so new here, I don't want to seem haughty with a lengthy introduction listing all my accomplishments and such. I'll sum it up as such: There's this guy named Jesus. I'm a lot like him. Sure, there are some who are better (all of whom go to this church) but I like to think I'm on my way.

      In Christ,

      Brother Walker
      You're alot like somebody, that's for sure....

      Multiple personalities, nancy?

      Or should I say, Jimmy?
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Walker Evans
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
          • Mar 2008
          • 14
          #3
          Re: My introduction

          What are you on about? I thought we'd been over this! I'm not that colored sinner named Jimmy!

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78556
              #4
              Re: My introduction

              Originally posted by Walker Evans View Post
              What are you on about? I thought we'd been over this! I'm not that colored sinner named Jimmy!
              How many more demons are infesting you pal?

              Maybe you need a little excorsize...
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • Deaner
                  Christ's Love Messenger
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 5932
                  #5
                  Re: My introduction

                  Originally posted by Walker Evans View Post
                  What are you on about? I thought we'd been over this! I'm not that colored sinner named Jimmy!
                  There, there Jim Walker; everything's been settled. Don't get upset. We all know you're not Jim. Now just allow the love of Our Saviour to overtake you.

                    Comment

                    • Walker Evans
                      Confirmed Enemy of God
                      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                      • Mar 2008
                      • 14
                      #6
                      Re: My introduction

                      So, now that we've got that settled, when do I get my status changed to what I really am?

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 78556
                          #7
                          Re: My introduction

                          Originally posted by Walker Evans View Post
                          So, now that we've got that settled, when do I get my status changed to what I really am?
                          You want me to change your screen name back to Jimmy? I can do that, no problem.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • Nobar King
                              Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                              Christ's Guardian
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2007
                              • 23748
                              #8
                              Re: My introduction

                              How about Jimmy Walker?
                              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                                Comment

                                • Walker Evans
                                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                                  BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                  • Mar 2008
                                  • 14
                                  #9
                                  Re: My introduction

                                  If this is going to continue, I might as well leave. For the last time, I am not an unsaved nigra! I am a saved, True Christian™, fully clothed white man named Walker Evans! Please stop patronizing me with this nonsense! I would like my status changed to True Christian™ or member at the very least.

                                    Comment

                                    • Nobar King
                                      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                                      Christ's Guardian
                                      True Christian™
                                      • Sep 2007
                                      • 23748
                                      #10
                                      Re: My introduction

                                      Dear Mr. Walker:

                                      One doesn't ask or demand to be a True Christian. Are you a member or do you tithe to this church? How are we to know that you are the actual representation of the manly image you portray in your avatar? You might not be a 40 year old man, you might be some pig-headed Australian teenager trying to infiltrate our forum to spread your secret sauce aroud.

                                      If you are really serious about joining, you should read more and participate instead of being such a whiner. If you really are a True Christian, Jesus will know when to promote you.

                                      At the same time, it's good to know that there is so much demand for Jesus' word these days.
                                      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                                        Comment

                                        • Brother Temperance
                                          Senior Usher
                                          True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                                          A very nice young man
                                          True Christian™
                                          • Sep 2006
                                          • 15621
                                          #11
                                          Re: My introduction

                                          Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                                          How about Jimmy Walker?
                                          Or Johnny Walker? Jimmy Beam?
                                          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                                          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                                            Comment

                                            • Deaner
                                              Christ's Love Messenger
                                              True Christian™
                                              • Sep 2006
                                              • 5932
                                              #12
                                              Re: My introduction

                                              Originally posted by Walker Evans View Post
                                              If this is going to continue, I might as well leave. For the last time, I am not an unsaved nigra! I am a saved, True Christian™, fully clothed white man named Walker Evans! Please stop patronizing me with this nonsense! I would like my status changed to True Christian™ or member at the very least.
                                              Walker, you have to understand. There's background checks that have to be done; people that have to be interviewed. We have to do our homework; we can't have weirdos waltzing around in here. It would be mayhem.

                                              Now listen, you can trust me. I'm not the kind of guy to say something to your face then mock you behind your back. This is going to take some time.

                                              My advice would be to keep posting. You're definitely drawing attention but you need to be a little more patient.

                                              On another matter, I thought it was that heathen Jimmy that did all the acting up. You were supposed to be the nice guy. Has Jimmy been telling you to do bad things again Walker?

                                                Comment

                                                • Walker Evans
                                                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                                                  BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                                  • Mar 2008
                                                  • 14
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: My introduction

                                                  Fine, you know what, whatever. I'm leaving. Good ridance.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Deaner
                                                      Christ's Love Messenger
                                                      True Christian™
                                                      • Sep 2006
                                                      • 5932
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: My introduction

                                                      Originally posted by Walker Evans View Post
                                                      Fine, you know what, whatever. I'm leaving. Good ridance.
                                                      See? You're not Walker, you're Jimmy. Now listen Jimmy, either you let Walker come back or I'm going to send Jesus to kick your ass. You have no right to control the other side of your personality like that; you should be ashamed. Now where's Walker??

                                                        Comment

                                                        • JennyD
                                                          Honorary True Christian™
                                                          Sweet Placid Sister
                                                          Forum Member
                                                          • Dec 2007
                                                          • 9567
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: My introduction

                                                          Originally posted by Walker Evans View Post
                                                          Fine, you know what, whatever. I'm leaving. Good ridance.
                                                          It's a shame you hate Jesus and love only your ego.

                                                          Jesus weeps.
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                                                            Comment

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