[Didymus Much]

Re: Hello friends

...I pulled out my atlas and it says Hull is in that horrible Europe...

I thought you're Canadian? Hull's across the river from Ott_wa. As they've never had a decent hockey team, and only produce bureaucrats, I don't blame you for ignoring them completely.

Hull-upon-Kingston is in England.

[Ophelia613]

Re: Hello friends

It is indeed my real name. My Sinner parents were literary professors and dirty hippies. I have a brother named Hamlet and a sister named Lolita.
I agree with your son, my name does sound rude because I am named after a blasphemous woman in a play. She commits suicide! Just further proof of that I am the issue of a wicked lineage. I will have to work extra hard to get into Heaven!
You seem very brave and wise, so I will take to heart that Hull is not a dirty word. I thank you for that enlightenment!

[Ophelia613]

Re: Hello friends

I thought you're Canadian? Hull's across the river from Ott_wa. As they've never had a decent hockey team, and only produce bureaucrats, I don't blame you for ignoring them completely.

Hull-upon-Kingston is in England.

Oh, do forgive me! My eyes are still a little swollen from my husband Peter's lessons on internet decorum last night. I must have misread.
I am from Canada, but from the Godless west. Vancouver to be exact. Please do not hold that against me.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello friends

Welcome, Ophelia! I think you've somewhat allayed our suspicion that you may be a secret Jewess, but your refusal to upload an avatar pic does make me wonder if you might secretly be a Muslim, as they hate pictures.

You could put these fears to rest by, oh, I don't know, maybe getting on your Web cam and letting us watch while you eat a nice piece of pork?

Just a thought.

Yours in Him,

FM

[Noah Sole]

Re: Hello friends

Oh, do forgive me! My eyes are still a little swollen from my husband Peter's lessons on internet decorum last night. I must have misread.
I am from Canada, but from the Godless west. Vancouver to be exact. Please do not hold that against me.

I am sure we won't hold anything against you. I am intrigued where does the 613 of your name come from?

[Ophelia613]

Re: Hello friends

Welcome, Ophelia! I think you've somewhat allayed our suspicion that you may be a secret Jewess, but your refusal to upload an avatar pic does make me wonder if you might secretly be a Muslim, as they hate pictures.

You could put these fears to rest by, oh, I don't know, maybe getting on your Web cam and letting us watch while you eat a nice piece of pork?

Just a thought.

Yours in Him,

FM

I will ask Peter when he gets home. He says letting me see pictures of anything other that of Biblical references will encourage my filthy hippy genes to flare up. I hope he says it's okay as I don't want anyone thinking I'm a jewess or a muslim!!
If it helps, I'm making bacon-wrapped pork chops for dinner tonight.

I am sure we won't hold anything against you. I am intrigued where does the 613 of your name come from?

613 represents the day I was blessed with Peter in my life. June 1st, 2003. I am one lucky lady! I hope it's okay that I used that in my name!

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Hello friends

Oh, do forgive me! My eyes are still a little swollen from my husband Peter's lessons on internet decorum last night. I must have misread.
I am from Canada, but from the Godless west. Vancouver to be exact. Please do not hold that against me.

This is a bit awkward, Ophelia, as you seem to be fine young lady, but were you convicted of some violent perversion that keeps you stuck in that frozen Hellhole of a 'country' instead of moving to the Godly USA?

[Ophelia613]

Re: Hello friends

This is a bit awkward, Ophelia, as you seem to be fine young lady, but were you convicted of some violent perversion that keeps you stuck in that frozen Hellhole of a 'country' instead of moving to the Godly USA?

Oh, Brother Enoch, how I long to be part of the Great and Glorious USA! I am saddened to tell you that the Heathen government that is currently holding your fine country hostage will not let my dear Peter and I move there.
You see, and this is just between us, Peter was jailed for loving Jesus too much. Being the good man that he is, he can't stand to see people sinning and forgetting the ways of our Good Lord. So, as a helpful reminder, he would find Sinners and mark upon them relevant passages of the Good Book. Sometimes he'd use a knife, but more often it was just a Post-it and a staple gun. I thought this was a clever way to help people find Jesus but our 'Liebaral' courts here said it was assault and grievous bodily harm and sent him to jail for many years. It's disheartening to see such good and just intentions being wrongly prosecuted.
My remaining hope is that the USA can somehow accept Canada into the folds of her arms!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello friends

If you don't have a Web cam, I could have one shipped to your location. Bacon wrapped pork chops might be a bit messy to eat in front of a computer, though. How about a nice hot dog?

[Ophelia613]

Re: Hello friends

If you don't have a Web cam, I could have one shipped to your location. Bacon wrapped pork chops might be a bit messy to eat in front of a computer, though. How about a nice hot dog?

You are so kind!
I love hot dogs! I think I might have a picture of me with one somewhere.
Pastor Peacock brings me special Jesus hot dogs when ever he visits. They are kind of funny, though, as you can't bite down on it. Pastor Peacock says that would be a Sin and he knows best.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hello friends

If you don't have a Web cam, I could have one shipped to your location. Bacon wrapped pork chops might be a bit messy to eat in front of a computer, though. How about a nice hot dog?

Be careful, Brother.

Your request for an image of this young lady chowing down on a weiner could be taken as something other than your desire for evidence that she eats pork. There are many perverts around, who think they see a double meaning in every word a Christian utters.

And besides, there are beef hotdogs available. I'm thinking a nice, thick, German bratwurst would do the trick.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hello friends

Hello Ophelia! Welcome to our friendly forums! I am so sorry to hear of your dysfunctional and non-compliant womb. Have you tried praying to Jesus to heal you of your barrenness? If you have true faith and sincere trust in Him, surely He will not leave you dry!

And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.
1 John 5:14-15

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Hello friends

My remaining hope is that the USA can somehow annex Canada into the folds of her arms!

Fixed that for you! My deepest wish too.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello friends

Be careful, Brother.

Your request for an image of this young lady chowing down on a weiner could be taken as something other than your desire for evidence that she eats pork. There are many perverts around, who think they see a double meaning in every word a Christian utters.

And besides, there are beef hotdogs available. I'm thinking a nice, thick, German bratwurst would do the trick.

But the whole point is to make sure she's not secretly a Muslim. How about a spicy pork sausage?

[Ophelia613]

Re: Hello friends

Oh my, so many things to reply to!
Please excuse my absence. Peter's sister, Dorcas, went into labour. She gave birth to her 7th boy! That makes 12 babies in all - she's a very busy 24 year old! She was even kind enough to tell me if she's has another girl I can have it so I can practice for when I have a son.

Hello Ophelia! Welcome to our friendly forums! I am so sorry to hear of your dysfunctional and non-compliant womb. Have you tried praying to Jesus to heal you of your barrenness? If you have true faith and sincere trust in Him, surely He will not leave you dry!

And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:

And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.
1 John 5:14-15

Thank you! I pray daily for Jesus to fix my barren womb. I shall continue to pray that I can grant Peter a son (or 6!).

Fixed that for you! My deepest wish too.

I thank you for the correction.

But the whole point is to make sure she's not secretly a Muslim. How about a spicy pork sausage?

Peter says I don't have time to mess about with cameras, but he did grant me permission to put an avatar up. Hopefully, over time, my Faith and dedication will prove to all that I am no muslim or jewess!