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  • Cerberus
    Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocker
    • May 2012
    • 4

    #1

    Hi, I'm new here and I want to 'get together' with Ron Jeremy and Ted Nugent for some 'gaming ;)'.

    As per Pastor Ezekiel's requst, I'm here to introduce myself.

    Not much to say, I'm Christian, have been trying to get Ron Jeremy and/or Ted Nugent into office for years now, and as a strict follower of the bible Deuteronomy 13:13-19
    I took Suppose you hear in one of the towns the LORD your God is giving you that some worthless rabble among you have led their fellow citizens astray by encouraging them to worship foreign gods. In such cases, you must examine the facts carefully. If you find it is true and can prove that such a detestable act has occurred among you, you must attack that town and completely destroy all its inhabitants, as well as all the livestock.
    to heart, joined the army, went on a long trip, did my duty to inform a few mudslimes of their wrong choice of religion, and evaporated a camel with an AT4. (just to make sure I covered all of Gods wishes properly, of course, don't wanna slack off while the big guy's watching now.)

    I'm an avid gamer, father of two, and I work in the restoration landscape business, and am looking forward to hopefully contributing something to this wonderful church, after being politely informed of my e-tardation from the previously mentioned Pastor, I read up on a few other topics, read the "READ THIS" sections, and have to say... I love this place!
    Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.
  • Pastor Ed Lowman
    Southern Hospitality Exemplified
    Always kind and loving
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2011
    • 1838

    #2
    Hi, I'm new here and I want to 'get together' with Ron Jeremy and Ted Nugent for some 'gaming '.

    Welcome, Cerberus, but know that we only quote KJV scripture here, friend. It is the only Bible that God has truly inspired and safeguarded from soul-damning error.

    Feel free to tell us what church you attend and how you came to find Jesus.

    Pastor Ed

    Comment

    • Faith_Machine
      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Mar 2011
      • 10050

      #3
      Hi, I'm new here and I want to 'get together' with Ron Jeremy and Ted Nugent for some 'gaming '.

      You're not making a damned bit of sense, boy. Why would any Christian even know who Ron Jeremy is, much less vote for him?

      I only know the name because of my porn addiction, which God was kind enough to cure.

      Tell us, what horrible problems had God fixed in your life?
      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

      Comment

      • WWJDnow
        True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Aug 2009
        • 6312

        #4
        Hi, I'm new here and I want to 'get together' with Ron Jeremy and Ted Nugent for some 'gaming '.

        Originally posted by Cerberus View Post
        I'm Christian
        Welcome!

        have been trying to get Ron Jeremy and/or Ted Nugent into office for years now
        I'm right there with you on Nugent, but Ron Jeremy is simply not qualified to hold high office--he's a Jew.

        joined the army, went on a long trip, did my duty to inform a few mudslimes of their wrong choice of religion, and evaporated a camel with an AT4. (just to make sure I covered all of Gods wishes properly, of course, don't wanna slack off while the big guy's watching now.)
        Thanks for fighting the towelheads over there so we don't have to fight them over here!
        The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

        Comment

        • Ian O.
          Unsaved trash
           
          • May 2012
          • 55

          #5
          Re: Hi, I'm new here.

          Thanks for your service! If Ron Jeremy is a porn actor why would you want him as president?

          Comment

          • Didymus Much
            Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
            • Jun 2010
            • 14079

            #6
            Hi, I'm new here and I want to 'get together' with Ron Jeremy and Ted Nugent for some 'gaming '.

            Originally posted by Ian O. View Post
            ...If Ron Jeremy is the greatest porn actor ever why would you want him as president?
            FTFY.

            I'm curious, too.

            Comment

            • Forest Spirit
              Unsaved trash, Repulsive pervert
              Investigation Ongoing
              • Dec 2009
              • 153

              #7
              Re: Hi, I'm new here and I want to 'get together' with Ron Jeremy and Ted Nugent for some 'gaming '.

              Originally posted by Cerberus View Post
              I evaporated a camel with an AT4. (just to make sure I covered all of Gods wishes properly, of course, don't wanna slack off while the big guy's watching now.)
              you shot a camel what did that c amel ever do to you and you think that your God approves of this if I had seen you do that I would have been angry but I WOULDNOT HIT YOU sorry for the all caps I don't believe in violnece at all for any reason
              Dog's are mans best friend .

              Comment

              • Pastor Ezekiel
                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                 
                • Sep 2006
                • 78555

                #8
                Re: Hi, I'm new here.

                Originally posted by Ian O. View Post
                Thanks for your service! If Ron Jeremy is a porn actor why would you want him as president?
                He's an atheistic troll. Ignore him.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

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