Introduction

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Greetings

In compliance with your forum rules I am posting a short note on myself.

I am Herr Doktor. I am currently researching my latest thesis and this has led me to this site to extend my studies.

I am currently searching for proof positive evidence of Satan's familars. I know they exist and I am correlating the evidence of this Demonic force. This is only a smaller work in my Magna Opus or Experiemta Grand.

My laboratory and field work is a bit messy at the moment as it consists of live vivisections of small animals so that I can uncover Satan's spawn. It's all part of my Baconian method.

Ultimately I want to prove empirically that Witchcraft really does exist (without a quiver of a doubt so those damned liberals will have no come back) and to bring back Witchfinding as a respected profession.

[Justin Bill]

Re: Introduction

welcome dockor,

and I have a stie in my left eye, do you think its from witchcraft? and do you think you can cure me?

hoping...

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Re: Introduction

My Good Justin,

I am glad that you are concerned. Sties are often a sign of the Devil's mark.

This is easy to diagnose by the use of a Pricking Pin. I would poke it and see if it bleeds. If it does not draw blood then this is conclusive evidence that you are Suckling a Familar. I could take that to any court in Transylvania and get a conviction. So it's good science.

I am also confident that I can find a cure for your ailment.

What's next.

Book a ticket and come and visit me at my remote lodge in the Bavarian Alps. I will require you to sign a waver. We will then get your treatment under way.

Yours Faithfully

Herr Doktor

P.S. Can you please take a route via Colombia. I would like you pick up a parcel for me. No need to declare it, just courier it for me.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Introduction

A gracious welcome, Herr Doktor.

I trust you will find the vast resources of Landover Baptist to your liking. You will find much scholarly research as well as in depth knowledge in almost any subject. Landover Baptist truly brings the Bible (KJV1611) to life.

[Talitha]

Re: Introduction

Hello Doctor.
Tell me, do you specialize in anything cosmetic?

I have a friend..... You know

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Re: Introduction

A gracious welcome, Herr Doktor.

I trust you will find the vast resources of Landover Baptist to your liking. You will find much scholarly research as well as in depth knowledge in almost any subject. Landover Baptist truly brings the Bible (KJV1611) to life.

Why thank you Brother Jennings-Bryan. I'm also interested in the teachings of Arius, so I will be sure to research this subject. I think the learned sage was onto something.

Hello Doctor.
Tell me, do you specialize in anything cosmetic?

I have a friend..... You know

Sister Talitha, the only cosmetic surgery I perform is the scourging of sinful mortal flesh to beautify the soul.

My clamps, screws, racks and whips perform a wonderful job.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Introduction

Why thank you Brother Jennings-Bryan. I'm also interested in the teachings of Arius, so I will be sure to research this subject. I think the learned sage was onto something.



Sister Talitha, the only cosmetic surgery I perform is the scourging of sinful mortal flesh to beautify the soul.

My clamps, screws, racks and whips perform a wonderful job.

I must say Herr Doktor, your scholarly interests tend to the obscure, but you have come to the right place. I am only vaguely familiar with Arius. I do remember that he was Baptized, but later was Anathemized for some reason. I believe it was an early heresy with the cathylicks, something having to do with Jesus being baked with herbs and spices as opposed to being poached in a white wine sauce. I'm sure that one of our Biblical scholars here would be pleased to engage you in a discussion of the topic.

I think you will find Sister Talitha familiar with your methods, but perhaps in a more intimate manner than you have heretofore deployed them.

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Re: Introduction

Herr_Doktor, I was wondering if you were familiar with Mengele's work, and your appreciation about it...

[JennyD]

Re: Introduction

Hair_Doktor, my regular stylist turned out to be a Homersexual, so I was forced to stone him. Now, I suffer from horrible split ends. Can you recommend any remedy to get me through until I can find a new, HETEROSEXUAL hairstylist in my area?

Thank you so much! It's wonderful to have a distinguished coiffuremaster such as yourself join God's Favorite Forum!

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Re: Introduction

I must say Herr Doktor, your scholarly interests tend to the obscure, but you have come to the right place. I am only vaguely familiar with Arius. I do remember that he was Baptized, but later was Anathemized for some reason. I believe it was an early heresy with the cathylicks, something having to do with Jesus being baked with herbs and spices as opposed to being poached in a white wine sauce. I'm sure that one of our Biblical scholars here would be pleased to engage you in a discussion of the topic.

I'd say it was the Cathylicks who are the heretics. Poached in white wine sauce indeed! Smacks of paganism and the drinking of wine.

Now being baked is a key point in Arius' work, because the body of Jesus baked for three days and three nights in his tomb before the resurrection. Jesus then becomes hard, hard like a rock. Jesus is a rock. See where it goes.... I'm not sure about the herbs and spices though. I will need to see how LBC has translated from the Coptic to come with that idea.

Herr_Doktor, I was wondering if you were familiar with Mengele's work, and your appreciation about it...

Mengele was a Godless Nazi who played God. Nowhere in his treatises can you find anything on Creation Science. Besides he stole my uncle's pigs.

Hair_Doktor, my regular stylist turned out to be a Homersexual, so I was forced to stone him. Now, I suffer from horrible split ends. Can you recommend any remedy to get me through until I can find a new, HETEROSEXUAL hairstylist in my area?

Thank you so much! It's wonderful to have a distinguished coiffuremaster such as yourself join God's Favorite Forum!

Sister Jenny, my name is Herr Doktor not Haar Arzt. The only coiffure-meistering I have ever done is shaving the heads of the condemned.

However, the stoning of your son was a Godly act and I cannot see how Just Vengeance was brought upon you. Your split ends must be due to some other cause. Have you considered using a herbal shampoo? Herbal hair products are less harsh on the hair and scalp compared to the chemical ones.

[JennyD]

Re: Introduction

Sister Jenny, my name is Herr Doktor not Haar Arzt. The only coiffure-meistering I have ever done is shaving the heads of the condemned.

Oh, how embarassing. I must have misread.

However, the stoning of your son was a Godly act and I cannot see how Just Vengeance was brought upon you.

Er, he was my hairstylist. As a young, unmarried, virgin Christian woman, I have no children.

Your split ends must be due to some other cause. Have you considered using a herbal shampoo? Herbal hair products are less harsh on the hair and scalp compared to the chemical ones.

I shall give that a try. Thank you for your kind advice!

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Re: Introduction

Er, he was my hairstylist. As a young, unmarried, virgin Christian woman, I have no children.

Accept my apologies Sister. It was a late night and my be-speckled eyes are not they used to be.

However, Stoning your homer of a hair stylist was still a Godly act.

[Peter McKain]

Re: Introduction

I like where this thread is going.

[Talitha]

Re: Introduction

Sister Talitha, the only cosmetic surgery I perform is the scourging of sinful mortal flesh to beautify the soul.

My clamps, screws, racks and whips perform a wonderful job.

I like the cut of your Jib Her Doktor

Perhaps we could arrange a meeting of minds and exchange techniques?

My right arm was made by The Lord for the purification of Sinners.
I too have a Dungeon purification room where sinners are brought. They ALWAYS go away cleansed.

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Re: Introduction

I like the cut of your Jib Her Doktor

Perhaps we could arrange a meeting of minds and exchange techniques?

My right arm was made by The Lord for the purification of Sinners.
I too have a Dungeon purification room where sinners are brought. They ALWAYS go away cleansed.

Landover is truly Blessed Sister Talitha. From what I have read there are very few places remaining on God's earth were the local authorities work with God's chosen and submit miscreants for punishment and purification.

I have to rely on a string of informants and then I need to form a lynch mob. Even then I need to do my work in the cover of dark. This is no way to do God's work. This is why my burning desire is to reform the laws and to bring back the light of the burning times.

I am traditional in my methods and I'm sure a bright young lady like yourself could teach this old dog some new tricks.

As much as I despise the the Catholics, I must confess I do use one of their tomes as a basis of my work. That is the Malleus Maleficarum by Heinrich Kramer and James Sprenger. There's just so much common sense in there.