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  • #31
    Re: Hi everyone!

    Why are you wasting time talking about gross insects when you could be praising Jesus instead?
    WARNING:
    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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    • #32
      Re: Hi everyone!

      Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
      Why are you wasting time talking about gross insects when you could be praising Jesus instead?
      Well I figured since everyone else was going off talking about drunken midgets and the like, I'd post something random as well.
      He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.--Dt.23:1 <---God hates the dickless!!

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      • #33
        Re: Hi everyone!

        What church in Texas do you go to?

        Yours in Christ,

        Z. Smyth
        sigpic

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        • #34
          Re: Hi everyone!

          Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
          What church in Texas do you go to?

          Yours in Christ,

          Z. Smyth
          I go to Green Acres Baptist Church, I love it there! Such a nice atmosphere to praise Jesus in!

          He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.--Dt.23:1 <---God hates the dickless!!

          Comment

          • #35
            Re: Hi everyone!

            Really? I'll be in Tyler a week from Thursday to have a round of Golf with Pastor Dykes. You should join us. I beleive we will be playing the Willowbrook course. Looser buys lunch, so we'd love to have you.
            Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
            Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
            Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
            Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
            Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
            Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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            • #36
              Re: Hi everyone!

              Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
              Really? I'll be in Tyler a week from Thursday to have a round of Golf with Pastor Dykes. You should join us. I beleive we will be playing the Willowbrook course. Looser buys lunch, so we'd love to have you.
              Sounds like I'll be buying lunch then, I'm terrible at golf, but I'll definitely come!
              He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.--Dt.23:1 <---God hates the dickless!!

              Comment

              • #37
                Re: Hi everyone!

                Originally posted by midgetman View Post
                I go to Green Acres Baptist Church, I love it there! Such a nice atmosphere to praise Jesus in!

                Shout glory!

                Now how do we verify that you aren't lying when you say you aren't a dwarf?
                THIS PLACE RESERVED FOR SCRIPTURE!

                Comment

                • #38
                  Re: Hi everyone!

                  Originally posted by midgetman View Post
                  I go to Green Acres Baptist Church, I love it there! Such a nice atmosphere to praise Jesus in!

                  Interesting. You're the second new poster in as many days who claims to be worshiping at Green Acres Baptist Church.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                  • #39
                    Re: Hi everyone!

                    Originally posted by Johnathan View Post
                    Shout glory!

                    Now how do we verify that you aren't lying when you say you aren't a dwarf?
                    Well, I'm not exactly sure considering that you haven't seen me in person. Take my word for it I suppose? I'm 5' 8" and I believe that to legally be a midget you have to be under 4' 10"

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    Interesting. You're the second new poster in as many days who claims to be worshiping at Green Acres Baptist Church.
                    I'm not quite sure I understand, is this a bad thing?
                    He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.--Dt.23:1 <---God hates the dickless!!

                    Comment

                    • #40
                      Re: Hi everyone!

                      Originally posted by midgetman View Post
                      I believe that to legally be a midget you have to be under 4' 10"
                      Who regulates that height? The department of weights and measures?
                      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                      Comment

                      • #41
                        Re: Hi everyone!

                        I'm pretty sure the law uses those signs as Disneyland to make the determination, the ones that say, "You have to be this tall to go on this ride."
                        WARNING:
                        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                        Comment

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