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  • Happy Man
    Unsaved trash
    • Jul 2012
    • 6

    #1

    Hello...

    Hi! My name is Port! I have come onto this sight to see if I could find God in my journey through the darkness. I'm afraid that my faith is dwindling, but perhaps I can be led to God through this...

    My favorite Bible passage was Jame 1:12. It was the first one I learned, and therefore it is my favorite. I've tried to live by it, but I'm afraid that I've been having a hard time in terms of faith.

    I'm afraid I do not attend a church, because the nearest are all run by commercial media. However, I do enjoy Joseph Prince's sermons on Television.
  • Billy Bob Jenkins
    Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
    About as Straight and Manly as you can get
    Hates anal sex. And trees.
    True Christian™
    • May 2010
    • 8337

    #2
    Re: Hello...

    Originally posted by Happy Man View Post
    Hi! My name is Port! I have come onto this sight to see if I could find God in my journey through the darkness. I'm afraid that my faith is dwindling, but perhaps I can be led to God through this...

    My favorite Bible passage was Jame 1:12. It was the first one I learned, and therefore it is my favorite. I've tried to live by it, but I'm afraid that I've been having a hard time in terms of faith.

    I'm afraid I do not attend a church, because the nearest are all run by commercial media. However, I do enjoy Joseph Prince's sermons on Television.
    How can you be happy without the certainty that all who disagree with you are going to burn in Hell for all eternity?
    The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

    Comment

    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556

      #3
      Re: Hello...

      That guy is a jap and I'm pretty sure that he's unsaved. Anyway, I wouldn't trust one.

      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Faith_Machine
        Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Mar 2011
        • 10050

        #4
        Re: Hello...

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        That guy is a jap and I'm pretty sure that he's unsaved. Anyway, I wouldn't trust one.
        I was a bit surprised to hear him say that he doesn't counsel members of the opposite sex, basically because he doesn't trust himself to be around them. I guess it's good to know your limits, but I certainly wouldn't expect any Landover pastor to so weak that he has to flee from a one-on-one counseling session with an attractive young lady!
        WARNING:
        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

        Comment

        • Happy Man
          Unsaved trash
          • Jul 2012
          • 6

          #5
          Re: Hello...

          Wow...

          Biased, Racist, haters of minority.

          I'm out of here. Maybe I can find a real Christian sight, and not just waste my time on this joke sight...

          Comment

          • Mary Etheldreda
            Gushing for Jesus
             
            • Sep 2011
            • 23775

            #6
            Re: Hello...

            Originally posted by Happy Man View Post
            Wow...

            Biased, Racist, haters of minority.

            I'm out of here. Maybe I can find a real Christian sight, and not just waste my time on this joke sight...
            Friend, you'll find no church more Christian than Landover Baptist, where every word of the Holy Bible is believed and followed. You will find, however, preachers in other churches that just want to steal your money, use your labors, stroke your ego, and tell you what you want to hear so you'll come back and give them more money and work more for them.
            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

            Comment

            • LBC loving Dutchmen
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Oct 2011
              • 216

              #7
              Re: Hello...

              All True Christians here are quite serious about following the KJV to the letter.
              Anyone can change wikipedia, that is done by some hate-mongers, who couldn't hide their stupidity and now want to flame us.
              II Kings 2:23-24: 23And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. 24And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

              Comment

              • LBC loving Dutchmen
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • Oct 2011
                • 216

                #8
                Re: Hello...

                You may get a better Christian sight by reading the KJV. A more Christian (interwebs)site however, you won't find
                II Kings 2:23-24: 23And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. 24And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

                Comment

                • Happy Man
                  Unsaved trash
                  • Jul 2012
                  • 6

                  #9
                  Re: Hello...

                  Oh,(un-Christian language deleted)! I'm outta here, you shits can leave your prejudice at the door...
                  Last edited by Pastor Isaac Peters; 07-26-2012, 07:58 PM. Reason: Mind your language on this Godly discussion board

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Isaac Peters
                    Senior Pastor
                    Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                    Always Biblically correct
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 10639

                    #10
                    Re: Hello...

                    Originally posted by Happy Man View Post
                    Oh, (edited for consistency)! I'm outta here, you shits can leave your prejudice at the door...
                    Show us where our teachings contradict the King James Bible.
                    This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                    Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • Billy Bob Jenkins
                      Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                      About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                      Hates anal sex. And trees.
                      True Christian™
                      • May 2010
                      • 8337

                      #11
                      Re: Hello...

                      Originally posted by Happy Man View Post
                      Oh, (edited for consistency)! I'm outta here, you shits can leave your prejudice at the door...
                      The only thing I'm prejudiced against is sin, because it hurts the sweet baby Jesus. Is your sin so important to you that you would rather burn in Hell than be a decent person?
                      The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                      Comment

                      • James Hutchins
                        True Christian™
                        Just a Regular Nice Guy
                         
                        • Jun 2009
                        • 29453

                        #12
                        Re: Hello...

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        That guy is a jap and I'm pretty sure that he's unsaved. Anyway, I wouldn't trust one.

                        What the heck language was he speaking? All I heard was the sound of pocket change in a tin can. No wonder those nips are in a 3rd world country, they speak like the have a moughtfull of pennies and no one can understand them. If he prayed, God would not know what the gook was saying.
                        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                        Comment

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