King James 1611!

[KJV4me]

Hello, fellow followers of God.

I found this forum while googling the term "King James Version 1611" and, after lurking a bit, quickly witnessed your unsurpassed knowledge of and adherence to the one TRUE Bible, the KJV 1611.

I registered without delay! I am also an admirer of the one TRUE Bible, the KJV 1611, and I hope to learn more about the greatest book in the world from this Godly forum and the Godly Landover Baptist Church.

I am in the process of opening a paypal account so that I can set up a monthly tithing schedule.

I look forward to learning from you all, including how to ensure salvation, how to live a Godly life, and how to more effectively identify, and banish, Mooslims and homersexuals from my white Christian community.

Glory!

[Talitha]

Re: King James 1611!

GLORY Indeed friend, welcome.

Tell me, do you have any favorite verses?

[KJV4me]

Re: King James 1611!

GLORY Indeed friend, welcome.

Thank you

Tell me, do you have any favorite verses?

A favorite verse? My goodness, I like them all so much that I'm not sure I can pick a favorite one, but let me think. Hmmm....

I suppose that Genesis 3:16 is one of my many favorite verses. The reason I like Genesis 3:16 is because I find it very useful when dealing with my wife. Lord bless her, she sometimes forgets her place in our marriage. Sometimes she acts less than enthusiastic when I tell her that I want sire another child, so I remind her of Genesis 3:16 which gets her to submit to my God-appointed authority over her.

Here is the verse (KJV 1611 of course):

Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorowe and thy conception. In sorow thou shalt bring forth children: and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and hee shall rule over thee.

[Talitha]

Re: King James 1611!

Thats a good verse. I like a man who uses the Good Book to keep a woman in her place.

[Offcr. Albert Martin]

Re: King James 1611!

Replace Genesis with John, and you get my favorite.

By the way, the KJV is flawed, and King James took out the Bible books he didn't like-which the Catholics maintain!

NRSV ALL THE WAY!

[KJV4me]

Re: King James 1611!

Amen sister. I put her in her place because God commands it to be this way, and after all, I love her. Sometimes loving someone means protecting them from themselves, and getting them to bear children when they don't want to.

Thank God for the KJV! If it wasn't for this book here, I might not be able to control my wife effectively. I can't imagine how other marriages get along without this book... maybe that's why the un-Godly are always either divorced or homers, and always childless.

[KJV4me]

Re: King James 1611!

Replace Genesis with John, and you get my favorite.

By the way, the KJV is flawed, and King James took out the Bible books he didn't like-which the Catholics maintain!

NRSV ALL THE WAY!

Oh my Lord! Do creatures like this really exist in this otherwise holy and righteous forum?

I'm sorry to say, Officer Martin, but you have been fooled by homers and Satanists. The NRSV is not a book, but a ticket: a one way express ticket to the gates of Hell! Repent for your own sake!

I will pray for you.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: King James 1611!

Oh my Lord! Do creatures like this really exist in this otherwise holy and righteous forum?

Since we are True Christians™, we often have to endure anti-Christian persecution from Romanists and other Christ-haters. Still, we should rejoice:

Matthew 5:11-12: Blessed are ye, when [men] shall revile you, and persecute [you], and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great [is] your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: King James 1611!

A favorite verse? My goodness, I like them all so much that I'm not sure I can pick a favorite one, but let me think. Hmmm....

I suppose that Genesis 3:16 is one of my many favorite verses. The reason I like Genesis 3:16 is because I find it very useful when dealing with my wife. Lord bless her, she sometimes forgets her place in our marriage. Sometimes she acts less than enthusiastic when I tell her that I want sire another child, so I remind her of Genesis 3:16 which gets her to submit to my God-appointed authority over her.

Here is the verse (KJV 1611 of course):

Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorowe and thy conception. In sorow thou shalt bring forth children: and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and hee shall rule over thee.

Welcome Brother, to Jesus' favorite church. Please ignore the Papist dog as he turneth to his own vomit again.

My favorite 3:16 would be 2nd Timothy 3:16: All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

This verse tells us that the entire Bible is the inspired word of God, and that we can't play favorites and pick and chose individual verses.

Replace Genesis with John, and you get my favorite.

I assume you mean "John" as in The Revelation of Saint John.

Revelation 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

GLORY I can't wait for Baby Jesus to return and spew you and your Antichrist Pope out of His delicate mouth.

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Re: King James 1611!

Pleased to converse with you KJV1611.

I've always maintained that you are the True Bible.

1611, an excellent year. No witch was safe.

[KJV4me]

Re: King James 1611!

Thank you for the kind words everybody. Truly, the LBC church stands in the righteous glory of GOD!

[Justina Thyme]

Re: King James 1611!

Hello, KJV4me, and welcome to the Landover Baptist Church. Please review the following list and tell me which, if any, of the following items you have in your home:

Frogs, owls, hearts, unicorns, angels, dolphins, dragons, horseshoes; items from other countries, especially Africa, China, India, Japan; American Indian artifacts (dreamcatchers, etc.), carvings, pictures, Buddha statues. Dolls and stuffed animals - dolls originated in voodoo. Paisley pattern on anything. Some items of clothing(Nike is a Greek god, according to the dictionary).

Pictures of movie stars/other celebrities, rainbows; some items passed down from ancestors, shamrocks, clovers or any kind of good luck charm, Indian items, any items that are used in witchcraft, The Book ofMormon, The Satanic Bible, books on other religions, rock and roll music, jazz music, etc.

Flamingos, sundials, books/tapes from false (i.e., non-deliverance) faiths, ankhs, astrological symbols, peace symbols, tikis, Italian horns, stars, wishbones, horseshoes, incense, fleur-de-lis.

Thank you, and may you enjoy your time with us.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: King James 1611!

Replace Genesis with John, and you get my favorite.

Go through the entire Bible replacing God with Mary and Jesus with a paedophile in a dress, and you get Catholicism.

[HermanoAlexander]

Re: King James 1611!

Brother KJV4me, As a new member to this church I offer you warm welcomes!

I just joined myself and I can sense the warmth that rises from your words.
Truly, we have found a new abode to worship Him from!

Praise be! Hallelujah!

[KJV4me]

Re: King James 1611!

Hello, KJV4me, and welcome to the Landover Baptist Church. Please review the following list and tell me which, if any, of the following items you have in your home:

Frogs, owls, hearts, unicorns, angels, dolphins, dragons, horseshoes; items from other countries, especially Africa, China, India, Japan; American Indian artifacts (dreamcatchers, etc.), carvings, pictures, Buddha statues. Dolls and stuffed animals - dolls originated in voodoo. Paisley pattern on anything. Some items of clothing(Nike is a Greek god, according to the dictionary).

Oh no, I can't believe it, but I am guitly of possessing some items on your list. Specifically, I have some items from JAPAN

I have a Toshiba DVD player and a Mitsubishi television set. Although I promise that I only use these items to watch Biblical-based educational and worship programs. I just never realized until now that Toshiba and Mitsubishi are Jap companies, although I should have given their foreign-sounding names.

Pictures of movie stars/other celebrities, rainbows; some items passed down from ancestors, shamrocks, clovers or any kind of good luck charm, Indian items, any items that are used in witchcraft, The Book ofMormon, The Satanic Bible, books on other religions, rock and roll music, jazz music, etc.

Flamingos, sundials, books/tapes from false (i.e., non-deliverance) faiths, ankhs, astrological symbols, peace symbols, tikis, Italian horns, stars, wishbones, horseshoes, incense, fleur-de-lis.

Thank you, and may you enjoy your time with us.

Oh my goodness it gets worse! I have a full-size movie poster depicting Charlton Heston in the movie The Ten Commandments.

What should I do about this? Are these crimes in the eyes of Our Lord? Please let me know!