Self-Appointed Announcement.

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Salutations Landover Baptist Church,

I would like to introduce myself as the Reverend Carlton Thallo Green. Just recently, I was examining this website carefully until I realised that Landover really is Jesus' #1 Church in America. I boiled in anger when it struck me dumb on how the church I previously had worked for has gotten me to spew filthy, unChristian, lies created from Satan's lips himself. Needless to say I handed in my resignation slip faster than you can say PRAISE TO THE GLORY OF GOD! (perhaps I ought to have been faster). I only hope my wretched soul is not too far-gone to be properly SAVED the LBC way. You will soon find out that I hold similar values to the rest as this church as well. Homosexuals, papal-ring kissers, and nicey Nancy Boys make Jesus and I weep to no end.

I have enclosed a picture of myself with this message. Perhaps the artist exaggerated it a bit, but I am hard to amuse. He captioned my expression when I am addressed by sinners quite nicely I admit.

PRAISE!

Godspeed,
Rev. Green

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Self-Appointed Announcement.

Salutations Landover Baptist Church,

I would like to introduce myself as the Reverend Carlton Thallo Green. Just recently, I was examining this website carefully until I realised that Landover really is Jesus' #1 Church in America. I boiled in anger when it struck me dumb on how the church I previously had worked for has gotten me to spew filthy, unChristian, lies created from Satan's lips himself. Needless to say I handed in my resignation slip faster than you can say PRAISE TO THE GLORY OF GOD! (perhaps I ought to have been faster). I only hope my wretched soul is not too far-gone to be properly SAVED the LBC way. You will soon find out that I hold similar values to the rest as this church as well. Homosexuals, papal-ring kissers, and nicey Nancy Boys make Jesus and I weep to no end.

I have enclosed a picture of myself with this message. Perhaps the artist exaggerated it a bit, but I am hard to amuse. He captioned my expression when I am addressed by sinners quite nicely I admit.

PRAISE!

Godspeed,
Rev. Green

No offense to you Mr. Green, but you look like Ted Haggard just plugged you in. I certainly hope you are not one of THOSE.

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Self-Appointed Announcement.

Pastor Al Pistle,

I must say that I haven't thought of my picture in that light (Partly due to the fact that I would never want to in the first place), but the mear idea of that is not making my dinner sit well, in anycase I ponder on the idea if the artist was dirty homer (Most male artists are, yes?) and purpously made me look like that. I wouldn't be very surprised if I'm right.

-Rev. Green

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Self-Appointed Announcement.

Pastor Al Pistle,

I must say that I haven't thought of my picture in that light (Partly due to the fact that I would never want to in the first place), but the mear idea of that is not making my dinner sit well, in anycase I ponder on the idea if the artist was dirty homer (Most male artists are, yes?) and purpously made me look like that. I wouldn't be very surprised if I'm right.

-Rev. Green

Son, most artists are LIEBERALS and come from Sin Fransissyco. You can always tell a great artist if he paints a GODLY American flag in the background. I don't mean to show the sin of PRIDE, but my portrait was painted right in front of the flag at the Republican National Headquarters!

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Self-Appointed Announcement.

Pastor Al Pistle,

I believe this explains his suspicious limp wrist and funny talk. You know as I always say:

"When there's a lisp, something's amiss."

Thank you for clearing this up.

-Rev. Green

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Self-Appointed Announcement.

Sir, I hope that you aren't any relation to the nigra preacher Al Green, are you? Because he is a false Christian and a nigra to boot.

No offense, but I had to check.

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Self-Appointed Announcement.

Pastor Ezekiel,

If you look at my picture done by the San Fransissico homo, you will notice I am whiter than a crocus. If I appear negro, it's just very poor shadowing. In anycase, I believe Green is a last name that is very common, thus, it's a name common to be shamed with nasty jungle negros who probably stole the name from my family anyway. Isn't stealing what their known for?

-Rev. Green

[Poetic Peter]

Re: Self-Appointed Announcement.

I recognized your first name, sir,

not because I have any background in pansy portrait painting,

Thalo Blue is an excellent blue to use in mixing colors.

Something to keep in mind when mixing Thalo Blue with other colors is that Thalo Blue tends to be more powerful than most colors. One needs only to add a very small amount of Thalo Blue in order to drastically change the original color.

But because I am a retired paint and varnish formulator. Thalo blue is a chemical blue pigment
used in painting automobiles since its invention in the 1960s.

Nowadays it is also used in the pansy portrait painting trade.

Mix thalo blue with prissy yellow, and one'd get

"thallo green"

I doubt you paint automobiles.
I have NO doubt that you paint portraits of yourself.

You, sir, are a retouch job.

I can smell phoney a smile away.


Peter

detective

[Poetic Peter]

Re: Self-Appointed Announcement.

Afterthoughts:

paints portraits of himself before a mirror,
nude, later adding in "clothing" and "tints"
to suit his "muse".


Recipe for asphaltum varnish:

2 pounds pulverized asphaltum
4 pounds linseed oil
1oz litharge

Combine the asphaltum and litharge (lead mono-oxide) in a pot over a burner.

Boil at 450F for three hours, stirring constantly.
Then gradually raise the temperature to 500F,
at which point an endothermic reaction catalyzes
the lead and incorporates the lead as a polymerizing drier of the linseed oil/asphaltum
mixture.

Cool below 350F. Slowy add the turpentine,
stirring all the while. This cools the mixture
and thins it to boot.

Pour over 210 pounds of Thallo Green.


-----
"Recipe for color restoration"

[SUV]

Re: Self-Appointed Announcement.

Yes, Pastor Ezekiel. It's a Good thing I took the time to read the other messages before responding to this new Brother in Christ, because I myself was about to Bless this one - and Bless him doubly - for not being "Reverend" Al "Grits" Green, here to Despoil our Godly Board with his puckered, neegroid self:



SUV

[Brother Love]

Re: Self-Appointed Announcement.

Well I is goin to stay out of this one cuz I'm still wonderin bout his comment bout there bein a lisp and somethin amiss. Sound pretty HOMERSEXUAL to me!! Now, mind you, I ain't gots nothin against the homersexuals except I think they has all got a QUICK TICKET to HELL just as the LORD says!!

Well I said my piece so now I be quiet.

Jesus IS Lord!!

PRAISE GOD ALMIGHTY!!

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Self-Appointed Announcement.

Poetic Peter, I assure you that my middle name is a pure coincidence. I do however like the color of thalo green. It's my colour preference to use for my choice of cloth cut for suits.


Sister Sue Vera, as I said before, I am very irrirated that some Nigga stole my last name so he could shame it. I can use that blessing you offered.


Brother Love, thank you for your welcome and I agree 100% with your stance on hemosucktuals. They are Satan's dingleberries.

[SUV]

Re: Self-Appointed Announcement.

Sister Sue Vera, as I said before, I am very irrirated that some Nigga stole my last name so he could shame it. I can use that blessing you offered.

Oh, I just Hate it when they have colors as last Names! It makes one feel so awkward while addressing them as "Mr Brown" or Mr White"

I much prefer "Boy" and wonder if some of them must (really) also, so long as they are not in the presence of Jazzy Jackson.