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  • matthewsjdanley
    Unsaved trash
    • Sep 2012
    • 2
    #1

    Hi there fellows

    Hello everyone, my name is George and I'm 23 years old. I have been very confused in my life about religion and I believe it is my time to learn about Jesus and the good word! I tried visiting our church before but is was very strange they only talked about jesus for a little while and it was very short only about 15 minutes then we were asked to leave. I then visited the church late at night and saw through the window, one man turning the cross upside down and the other slaughtering a goat. Ever since then I knew jesus was the way. Fill me with your knowledge for my family is too poor to buy a bible.
    To hell with gay people and the jews! Right..?
    Tags: None
    • matthewsjdanley
      Unsaved trash
      • Sep 2012
      • 2
      #2
      Re: Hi there fellows

      Another thing about the "Family" part I was raped at a young age and was forced to raise a family.
      To hell with gay people and the jews! Right..?

        Comment

        • Little Donkey
          Forum Member
          • Oct 2010
          • 498
          #3
          Re: Hi there fellows

          Son, why don't you get yourself a haircut and try to start over with a proper Introduction.

            Comment

            • Zechariah Smyth
              Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
              True Christian™
              • Feb 2011
              • 15251
              #4
              Re: Hi there fellows

              Hello George!

              What exactly were you doing to seduce some unfortunate soul in to raping you? It goes without saying that you were dressed provocatively, but were you (for instance) sashaying?

              Yours in Christ,

              Z. Smyth
              sigpic

                Comment

                • Rev. M. Rodimer
                  Honorary True Christian™
                  Forum Member
                  • May 2008
                  • 13996
                  #5
                  Re: Hi there fellows

                  Originally posted by 1d0ntKn0w View Post
                  Hello everyone, my name is George and I'm 23 years old. I have been very confused in my life about religion and I believe it is my time to learn about Jesus and the good word! I tried visiting our church before but is was very strange they only talked about jesus for a little while and it was very short only about 15 minutes then we were asked to leave. I then visited the church late at night and saw through the window, one man turning the cross upside down and the other slaughtering a goat. Ever since then I knew jesus was the way. Fill me with your knowledge for my family is too poor to buy a bible.
                  I do believe this qualifies as the most pathetic attempt at an introduction I've seen all day.

                  You expect us to believe that your family can afford Internet access, but not a Bible (which any Baptist church will give you for free)? And that even though you have Internet access, you can't seem to find any of the free online King James Bibles?

                  Try following the idiot-proof instructions at the top of the page and starting over. I'll re-post them here for you, so you can find them:

                  Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us

                  what church you go to and

                  what your favorite Bible verse is and

                  how you came to find Jesus.
                  Note that it does not say, "Make up ridiculous stories about people practicing santeria in a local church, and come up with lame excuses for not reading God's Word."
                  Bible boring? Nonsense!
                  Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                  You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                    Comment

                    • Mary Etheldreda
                      Gushing for Jesus
                       
                      • Sep 2011
                      • 23775
                      #6
                      Re: Hi there fellows

                      Originally posted by matthewsjdanley View Post
                      I was raped at a young age and was forced to raise a family.
                      They get you pregnant, did they?



                      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 78555
                          #7
                          Re: Hi there fellows

                          Originally posted by matthewsjdanley View Post
                          Hello everyone, my name is George and I'm 23 years old. I have been very confused in my life about religion and I believe it is my time to learn about Jesus and the good word! I tried visiting our church before but is was very strange they only talked about jesus for a little while and it was very short only about 15 minutes then we were asked to leave. I then visited the church late at night and saw through the window, one man turning the cross upside down and the other slaughtering a goat. Ever since then I knew jesus was the way. Fill me with your knowledge for my family is too poor to buy a bible.
                          None of that is true. Wanna start over, Matty?
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

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