Hello and Olá

[Padre_Celcio]

Re: Hello and Olá

Tell us more about what it's like being surrounded by unsaved dagos.

Thanks for your comment.

It actually feels quite empowering. I always swell up when I am ministering to the unlearned. They are all so cute, in their own hilarious ways. and I just explode with joy when they give me their blessings.

As for the smell, we have a communal bath, where I order all members to thoroughly wash themselves in front of the rest of the group, to ensure godliness.
Wine Vinegar and steel wool does wonders for accumulated crud and odors.

I assume your screen name is a reference to the San Diego Padres?

I'm sorry, I do not watch american football here.
Not because I do not approve of a game involving hot studs running around wrestling balls out of each others hands, but because our village television has suffered a malfunction, and we will only be able to fix it next month.

In fact Padre is a nickname I accrued from my flock. It just stuck.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello and Olá

Welcome aboard, Padre! You don't smell like a Catholic to me, so I assume your screen name is a reference to the San Diego Padres? They're a great team, but the only thing preventing the SF Giants from permanently eclipsing their achievements is the fact that the Giants have been, obviously, infiltrated by SF queers.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Hello and Olá

Welcome Padre. Tell us more about what it's like being surrounded by unsaved dagos. How do you deal with the smell?

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hello and Olá

P.S. Oops! I see you figured it out while I was typing.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hello and Olá

Padre, I hope you don't mind, but I did a minor edit to the format of your Bible verse above.

If you type it out with the exact name of the book, and then the chapter and verse separated by a colon, people can hover their mouse pointer over it to see the verse.

For instance, if you wanted to post about Leviticus, chapter 15, verse 20, you'd write it like this:

Leviticus 15:20

and anyone can hover their mouse over that to see it.

Easy! Welcome to Landover.

YiC,

Zech

[Padre_Celcio]

Re: Hello and Olá

Welcome!

Thank you for the welcome, Mr. Crank.

In return, please allow me to leave you some words of wisdom from Philemon 1:17:
"If thou count me therefore a partner, receive him as myself."

[Padre_Celcio]

Re: Hello and Olá

What verse in the KJV most makes you despise your fellow countrymen?

It truly is so very heartwarming, brother James, to take a vested interest in myself, and my tiny country.

I too have long debated with my congregation this very question.

How can we succinctly define why our land is in the state it is in?

In a recent poll, 82% of us voted on:

2 Chronicles 21:15: "And thou shalt have great sickness by disease of thy bowels, until thy bowels fall out by reason of the sickness day by day."

In one case, a member of my flock (contrary to our health warnings) drank some water straight from the tap, and had such a fierce attack of bowel sickness, she actually passed one of her kidneys (Although, still attached via the ureter).
As a lesson to the rest of my flock, I deemed it necessary for her to display the results of her sickness during our service last sunday, right next to the donations platter.

Indeed, my members were filled in awe, and many pictures were taken of the hanging kidney, and of the passage whence it came. I am in the process of printing out a large poster of this, to hang at our entrance, which I hope will serve as a health and safety service to all visitors to our country.

Interestingly, 10% voted on: Psalms 23: "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures [..] I will fear no evil [...] thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Hello and Olá

Welcome!

[Padre_Celcio]

Re: Hello and Olá

called to dedicate your life to telling people how very much God hates them!

Thank you for such a warm welcome!

This is more than I would expect from most people in my own country!

In Portugal, you see, (true) religious freedom is only granted to the Jews, Masons and Arabs.

My flock and I feel like we are being fingered, just as Rehobaum fingered his people:

""For my littlest finger is thicker than my father's loins; and your backs, which bent like reeds at my father's touch, shall break like straws at my own touch.""

I feel I have been blessed, just as I prophesied about joining this community.

Thank you, thank you....

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hello and Olá

Welcome friend! It is so rare to get a wetback here who is not a papist fool.
What verse in the KJV most makes you despise your fellow countrymen?
How have you kept your male children safe from kiddie diddling priests?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hello and Olá

How very wonderful to be called to dedicate your life to telling people how very much God hates them! Our nation is facing a War On Religion and the liberal state of California (home of Hellywood and Sin Francisco) has recently declared restorative therapy to be illegal. Can you imagine? ILLEGAL to HELP CHILDREN! Who will tell them they are disgusting, vile creatures that makes God Himself puke Holy Bile?

[Padre_Celcio]

Hi,

I am Pastor Celcio.

First, I would like to provide my congratulations for providing a place to spread His word.

Also, a little background on myself:

I have 17 years experience in preaching the Word. I have specialised in helping convert members of my flock who have strayed from the path. (Same-sex relations or feelings, and also those who are even worse off than them, by denying completely the gift of His Word)

To those who might say it is a very easy job, I can honestly say No!
It is a very tough job. With some people, the devil has so profoundly grasped their souls, that they will not hear any arguments against sodomy, or about being blasphemous against the Lord.

Also, my job is made even more difficult, because of the current disastrous state of general culture in Portugal.

Although most people are roman catholics or muslims here in Portugal, there is a small group of Christians who do try and fight the oppression of the lost.

In fact, if you would like to know more about how this came to be, please spend 5 minutes looking over "The CONCORDATA". (An accord between the then communist Portuguese government and the Pope, written in 1940)
This document illustrates some of the principle reasons Portugal has so many sicknesses: gay, aids, and alcoholism.

http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/secretariat_state/archivio/documents/rc_seg-st_19400507_santa-sede-portogallo_po.html

Particularly article 5:

"A Igreja pode livremente cobrar dos fiéis colectas e quaisquer importâncias destinadas à realização dos seus fins, designadamente no interior e à porta dos templos, assim como dos edifícios e lugares que lhe pertençam."

Roughly translated, it stipulates that the (catholic) church may charge any fees to it's followers it deems necessary, up to and including charges made at the door of any of it's churches or other buildings it owns.

This was clearly done to hide that fact that there were so many Jews who were trying to change their faith (thereby evading deportation) while still maintaining traditional lifestyles.

I am sorry if this was too long for some, and I hope that together we can clean the world, one country at a time!

AMEN!