What's up everyone?

[Jake86]

I know I've already made some posts, but i thought i should intro. myself.

Call me by my username (Jake86), or just Jake. I'm not Christian, but I'm thinking about becoming one.

Any other questions, just ask.

[Higher Love]

Re: What's up everyone?

I know I've already made some posts, but i thought i should intro. myself.

Call me by my username (Jake86), or just Jake. I'm not Christian, but I'm thinking about becoming one.

Any other questions, just ask.

Firs tip, if a guy called pastor ezekiel talks to you, dont listen to anything he says, hes not a true christian. He uses his power for dictatorship.

[Old Man Winter]

Re: What's up everyone?

Yes and don't listen to a owrd ezekiel bathfire says either, they are the same person.

[Jake86]

Re: What's up everyone?

I know not to listen to anyone here unless they're unsaved trash, so I'm good there.

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: What's up everyone?

No. Pastor Ezekiel and Brother Bathfire are different users.

We have one purpose in Christ. We all write in different words, but our words often convey the same message.

Landover is all about spreading the true message of the Bible and the true nature of Christianity.

First, some Bible facts:

Man's soul is evil. Humans are evil, ugly beings. That is the first story in the Bible: Man disobeyed God, and that showed man's innate evil nature.

God is justified in torturing and tormenting mankind. In the Book of Isaiah God said that He would make backsliders eat their own children, and in 2 Kings 6 it describes how God followed through on that promise. The Book of Revelation describes the second coming of Jesus the Christ, and how He will oversee the torment and torture of mankind before sending the souls of the damned to Hell. In Hell they will be scorched with fires and unable to die, and "the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever".

Christians are destined to rule the Earth. This also is promised in the Book of Revelation. We are called to preach the Gospel to every living thing. We are called by the Great Commission to convert all souls to Christ. Failing that, the Chosen are commanded to make war against heathens -- to dash their little ones upon the stones, to bind their nobles with chains of iron, to execute vengeance upon the heathen.

War against the unrighteous is probably the third greatest theme of the Bible. From the Mosaic wars in Canaan on through to the end-time battles at Armageddon, war is Biblical and righteous. The Lord Himself is "a man of war".

There is much more to be said, but I hope this is a good start on understanding Christians and Christianity.

~~ OEJ

[Jake86]

Re: What's up everyone?

I thought the first story in the Bible was about God creating everything? or are you skipping a little

[Don the Baptist]

Re: What's up everyone?

I thought the first story in the Bible was about God creating everything? or are you skipping a little

Summarizing, kinda like Cliff's Notes...

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: What's up everyone?

Well, the creation story includes the Garden of Eden, yes? Man was created in the Garden. And what happened in the Garden of Eden?

Man showed his evil nature by disobeying God, that's what.

But the main point is that one core concept of the Bible is that humans are evil, fallen beings who deserve to be tortured unmercifully.

(If humans did not deserve that fate, God would be unfair in sending them to Hell to receive that torture. And since God is perfect, He cannot be unfair.)

As you know, modern Christianity stresses love, forgiveness, and mercy. But the core concepts of the Bible remain the foundation of the religion. Just as one does not always see the foundation-stones when one stands on the steps of a church, one does not often see the real core concepts of Christianity when one looks at the statements of modern Christians.

The foundation remains. The foundation-stones are hard and unyielding. They have crushed many souls. And they are clearly documented in the Bible.

~~ OEJ

[Don the Baptist]

Re: What's up everyone?

I thought the first story in the Bible was about God creating everything? or are you skipping a little

Brother OneEyedJack is sparing you many difficult passages as well, he is "hitting the high points" for you. For example:

• Genesis Chapter 1 tells us that people were created by God after all the plants and all the other animals.
• Genesis 2 tells us that Adam was created before all the plants and animals

A biblical truth such such as this would be far too difficult to grasp for an unregenerate sinner like yourself. However, True Christians® can easily grasp such indepth revelation. Baby Jesus helps us to understand it.

[Old Man Winter]

Re: What's up everyone?

Pastor Ezekiel and Ezekiel Bathfire are the same person.

[Talitha]

Re: What's up everyone?

Pastor Ezekiel and Ezekiel Bathfire are the same person.

YOU are starting to get on my nerves.
They are 2 different people and I've seen them both in the same room.

Can you say something useful here?

[Old Man Winter]

Re: What's up everyone?

Oh sure i'm supposed to take your word for it.

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: What's up everyone?

Look, chubby-arse, I am a mod. I know more about you -- and other posters on this board -- than you conceive. I know which usernames are sock apes and which are not.

But more to the point, only a dribbling cretin like yourself could confuse the writing styles of Pastor Ezekiel and Brother Bathfire. Wipe the drool off your chin, read several posts by the respective Christian gentlemen, and you will see that I am right.

You see (and here old but disreputable OEJ goes metadeconstructionist) we are all fictions. Every post on this forum is words, and words written by somebody sitting in front of a keyboard -- an author, if you will. Your posts are the literary creation (well, in your case, the illiterary creation) of the person behind the keyboard. What I read, and what you read, are the writings of someone else. They are not the "real person", anymore than Jim Harrison was the protagonist of the "fake autobiography" he titled "Wolf".

So. At this point you are supposed to write, "WTF?"

Thank you. I expected that level of comprehension from one of your mental incapacity.

The point is, Pastor Ezekiel's writing style is nothing like Brother Bathfire's. The redoubtable Brother Ahimaaz has his own style. The Godly but incendiary Sister Talitha writes in a completely different voice from dear Sister Jenny D.

You, sir, are a tone-deaf fool if you confuse Ezekiel and Bathfire.

Sorry for the digression. We may now carry on with a proper discussion of the Bible and the Glory of Jesus the Christ.

~~ OEJ

[WickedWitch]

Re: What's up everyone?

I know I've already made some posts, but i thought i should intro. myself.

Call me by my username (Jake86), or just Jake. I'm not Christian, but I'm thinking about becoming one.

Any other questions, just ask.

Have you looked at any other religions? (I'm not telling you that you shouldn't be Christian, By all means become a Christian if it calls to you. I'm just wondering if you've considered any other faith.)

Pastor Ezekiel and Ezekiel Bathfire are the same person.

No they aren't. Can you prove that they are? Is it because they share a name? In that case, I'm Alicia Silverstone and Alicia Keys, and myself at the same time.

Look, chubby-arse, I am a mod. I know more about you -- and other posters on this board -- than you conceive.

~~ OEJ

My Gods, does that mean you've seen me naked?!?!

YOU are starting to get on my nerves.
They are 2 different people and I've seen them both in the same room.

Can you say something useful here?

I have the perfect picture for Mr. Winter!

[Magikarp]

Re: What's up everyone?

OEJ is right. Both Pasta Zeke and Mr. Bathfire post differently. As do most of the regulars on the forum.

i.e

Bobby-Joe, who usually starts all his posts with freind: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showp...8&postcount=18

Shalo'zier, who usually puts 1 or more ^_______^'s in his posts: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showp...1&postcount=53

Brother Love, who posts.... um... his way: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showp...7&postcount=22

Alie, who posts in purple font, and likes to slobber on OEJ's face?

And me, and I guess some other kid, who posts in this font.

I don't really see how you can mess Zeke and Bathfire up, Jonesy. They do post in entirely different ways.