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  • Sekiam
    Unsaved trash
    • Nov 2012
    • 1
    #1

    Hello

    Hello. You guys are jokes, I don't understand why you do this.

    Please explain!

    I came here because of the portuguese thread, which was a disgrace.
    Tags: None
    • Mary Etheldreda
      Gushing for Jesus
       
      • Sep 2011
      • 23775
      #2
      Re: Hello

      Friend, you are mistaken. This is not a comedy forum, it is a church forum.

      Although we do have fun here from time to time, forum members come here for the express purpose of praising the LORD Jesus Christ, and evangelizing so the whole world can see the glory and splendor that is the Christian faith.

      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

        Comment

        • Brother Jared
          True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2012
          • 211
          #3
          Re: Hello

          There is no joke. This forum is for praising God and warning True Christians™, and others seeking to find the right path, of modern life's pitfalls - including the sinful country of Portugal.

          Move to God's favorite country, live by God's words and you too might be able to avoid eternal suffering in hell!

          YIC
          "Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up." (Hosea 13:16)

            Comment

            • John North
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2012
              • 414
              #4
              Re: Hello

              Originally posted by Sekiam View Post
              I came here because of the portuguese thread, which was a disgrace.
              Hi and welcome

              Everything in the Portuguese thread is accurate (apart from some comments made by God mocking atheists). Rest assured we publish nothing without being able to back up any statements we make with scripture.

              But please tell us a little bit about yourself. What church do you go to and when did you finally come to love Jesus? What is your favorite verse in the KJV 1611 Bible?
              Stop whining
              (1 Thessalonians 5:18) - In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
              (1 Corinthians 10:10) - Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer
              (Psalm 106:25) - But murmured in their tents, And hearkened not unto the voice of the LORD
              (Ephesians 4:29) - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78556
                  #5
                  Re: Hello

                  Originally posted by Sekiam View Post
                  I came here because of the portuguese thread, which was a disgrace.
                  I agree. The Portogeese are a disgrace.

                  This is called the INTRODUCTION section for a reason. Please tell us about yourself, your church, and your relationship with Jesus.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • Billy Bob Jenkins
                      Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                      About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                      Hates anal sex. And trees.
                      True Christian™
                      • May 2010
                      • 8337
                      #6
                      Re: Hello

                      Originally posted by Sekiam View Post
                      Hello. You guys are jokes, I don't understand why you do this.

                      Please explain!

                      I came here because of the portuguese thread, which was a disgrace.
                      So you are here to defend sodomy and child molestation, like the other Portuguese who have come here?
                      The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Isaac Peters
                          Senior Pastor
                          Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                          Always Biblically correct
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 10639
                          #7
                          Re: Hello

                          Originally posted by Sekiam View Post
                          Hello. You guys are jokes, I don't understand why you do this.

                          Please explain!
                          We do it to glorify God and to proclaim His Word. If any True Christian™ says anything on this discussion board that cannot be reconciled with Scripture, please point it out. Thank you, and have a blessed day.
                          This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                          Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

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